Afraid of things we shouldn't be

I'm another who hates using the phone. I don't ring family or friends because I convince myself they will be too busy to speak to me and I would be interrupting something important (more important than me!)

MissA - Can you start the conversation by telling them you are sorry to have to do this but a new job has come up which is closer and more convenient for you. Do remember that most likely if it suited them they would not hesitate to let you go - it is just a job, not a social club.

Imagine you have all us GNs behind you giving support when you tell them

Many years ago when I was having a very difficult time I became irrationally afraid of the post and would hide letters. it went on even after things settled down.I’m having another anxious time and I’m nervous about contacting any type of call centre. Goodness knows why I just think our emotional brain can only take so much and so picks on stuff that’s of no real consequence to worry about. I’m not sure that makes any sense! Years ago my daughter had to go to court to get custody of her children (that’s another story) at great expense we hire a barrister and at the appointments all she kept going on about was her ex violent partner wouldn’t give her back her shoes. Honestly if she hadn’t been so fragile I would have given her a right piece of my mind. I took her to see her G.P because she just could control her shaking and I mentioned her obsession with her old shoes. He told us that because somthing so awful was happening her whole being couldn’t cope so as a coping mechanism her brain picked on somthing it could cope with. What I’m trying (badly) to say is when we’re coping with difficult emotions or are having/had distressing times we often get anxious about the small things. It’s a bit like the straw that broke the camels back. Anyway enough rambling as thepost further up (sorry I’ve forgotten who’s it was) just say how much you’ve liked working there and how grateful you are but you’ve found somthing that fits around your other commitments. Let us know how you get on. Ps No prizes for counting how many copeing words are in my post. I need a lie down now.

Ah, thank you all.
You really are so kind.
It makes a whole lot of difference to my life to know I have people 'behind me'.
I don't know where I would be without some moral support.

missA you have had such a difficult time recently and the time has come to make life a little easier for yourself.
You took the big step by getting into work.
A more convenient job is in the offing.
If you tell them now they can replace you by Christmas ( so you're being considerate).
We all know that the anticipation is the hardest part.
SO by grasping the nettle now it will soon be over and you can stop dreading it.
Good luck!

I have just started a degree with the open university, after doing the access over 2 years ago
So I am constantly nervous atm.

I learnt a hard lesson through my career that no matter how nice the company and how valued you feel - if they want to let you go they will without a second thought .

You have to apply the same logic to yourself MissA - they can be as horrified as they like but this is not about business its about your life and you cannot spend what little time we are given being unhappy.

Be polite, give adequate notice and move on - I wish you luck .

We wouldn't be normal if we weren't afraid of something. I think all apart from psychopaths have the fight or flight mechanism.

I am still not comfortable phoning people I do not know or need to ask to do something. I often send emails when a phone call would be better.

Once I have dialled the number and got the person on the phone I am fine and I will ring family and friends at the drop of a hat.

At the moment our gas is cut off because of water in the mains. Men were working all day yesterday on the problem, but no-one has turned up today and as well as no heating, although we do have a big wood burning stove, which is doing a grand job, we have no hot water and neither of us has been able to have a bath or shower since Friday. I must ring up and ask what is happening. Well I will after I have finished Gn-ing - and put lunch in the (electric) oven and.......

Yoga deep breathing …..

Deep breath in through your nose out through your mouth in an oooooo

I can feel my anxiety rising already.
I have spoken to a couple of poor women on the bus this last week about it all.
One was banging on the bus window as it pulled away mouthing "Do it! Do it!"

You are not a coward, this is an occasion where you have to take care of you. You could get yourself so distressed over what you see as letting them down you could end up on the sick come Christmas . Better to do it now , they will have time to fill the post and save yourself sleepless nights x

say, not sway

What do they sway?
It's a no-brainer!

Right, sit the person down and tell them how much you have enjoyed working there, how kind and friendly they all are (?) but you are handing in your notice because you have found something which fits in better with your family commitments.

And yes, closer, more money, and more flexible.
I will be able to choose my hours, within reason.
Better for accommodating my home situation by far.

You have to think of what is best for you, not them!

Can you wait until you get a firm offer?
and can you bear to stay until then? They obviously value you as they are horrified at the thought of you leaving but if you go now they could find someone else quickly before the Christmas rush.

I have a couple of things 'in the pipeline' Jalima.
I did sort of bring it up the other day, but they seemed so horrified I just left it.
Then I worry that the nearer it gets to Christmas the worse it will be to 'let them down'.
I'm such a coward!

I hated my very first job, although my boss was extremely nice. After four months I got another, much better job but was very nervous about telling him, partially because he was such a nice man.

In the end plucked up the courage to tell him I was going the following week (only a week's notice that time) and he said 'Well done, I'm job-hunting too, I can't stand it here much longer, good luck in your new job'.
I was very relieved and hope that he managed to get another job.

Have you been offered another job MissA? If the people you work for now are nice, they will want the best for you even if they're sorry to see you go, if they're not nice then don't worry about upsetting them.
You said you had a long journey to work - is the new job nearer?

Are you going to tell them tomorrow - don't forget we're all behind you!

I get nervous about booking a holiday online and have to check, double check and triple check to make sure I haven't got dates etc wrong. I also get nervous buying online and envy people who say they buy and sell on Ebay as I just couldn't sell anything.

Ps, just read the title of your thread, so would like to add that there are no things that we shouldn’t be afraid.We are all have are fears so please don’t feel bad about yourself

Bridgeit
I'm not afraid of anyone, either at work or at home.
I'm very much my own person, its just starting the conversation which fills me with dread.
My workplace couldn't have been more supportive of me, but that makes me feel even worse!

My daughter and I used to sometimes want a takeaway, and we would each try and get the other to do it.
We would get nervous giggles whilst ordering too.
I don't know why..

Oh yes! The phone! I hate answering it with a passion and have very anxious feelings if I have to phone anyone. It’s ridiculous really, I used to work in an office where part of my job was answering the phone! I did manage to answer it ok (automatic response I think) but still got terribly anxious feelings if I had to call anyone and would have to tell myself to “just get on with it, for goodness sake”! Still do the same at home.

Sorry to read you are having sleepless nights over this, you don’t say who you are worried about bringing the subject up with, is it your other half ? But in any case you have to ultimately get things right for you, there is nothing more destructive to the soul than trying to maintain a situation that is having a bad effect on you. Maybe talking through it with a very good friend , counsellor ( they can also be contacted on line ) best wishes . Do what’s right for you & your well being

I've always hated answering the phone. When we just had a landline I never answered it . These days it's not so bad because I always know who is calling , with the caller ID on my mobile phone.

If using the phone is part of your job, and you can't do it, I guess that maybe you'll have to change jobs.

You don't have to "bring the subject up" - if you want to leave, put in your notice. Good luck.

Oh I was terrified of driving, so much so that I just gave up the lessons after very very many.
Job wise, its starting the conversation that I have trouble with.
How to say "I'm leaving". It fills me with dread, even though logic tells me they'll manage just fine without me.