Afraid of things we shouldn't be

Ah, thank you all.
You really are so kind.
It makes a whole lot of difference to my life to know I have people 'behind me'.
I don't know where I would be without some moral support.

Many years ago when I was having a very difficult time I became irrationally afraid of the post and would hide letters. it went on even after things settled down.I’m having another anxious time and I’m nervous about contacting any type of call centre. Goodness knows why I just think our emotional brain can only take so much and so picks on stuff that’s of no real consequence to worry about. I’m not sure that makes any sense! Years ago my daughter had to go to court to get custody of her children (that’s another story) at great expense we hire a barrister and at the appointments all she kept going on about was her ex violent partner wouldn’t give her back her shoes. Honestly if she hadn’t been so fragile I would have given her a right piece of my mind. I took her to see her G.P because she just could control her shaking and I mentioned her obsession with her old shoes. He told us that because somthing so awful was happening her whole being couldn’t cope so as a coping mechanism her brain picked on somthing it could cope with. What I’m trying (badly) to say is when we’re coping with difficult emotions or are having/had distressing times we often get anxious about the small things. It’s a bit like the straw that broke the camels back. Anyway enough rambling as thepost further up (sorry I’ve forgotten who’s it was) just say how much you’ve liked working there and how grateful you are but you’ve found somthing that fits around your other commitments. Let us know how you get on. Ps No prizes for counting how many copeing words are in my post. I need a lie down now.

I'm another who hates using the phone. I don't ring family or friends because I convince myself they will be too busy to speak to me and I would be interrupting something important (more important than me!)

MissA - Can you start the conversation by telling them you are sorry to have to do this but a new job has come up which is closer and more convenient for you. Do remember that most likely if it suited them they would not hesitate to let you go - it is just a job, not a social club.

Imagine you have all us GNs behind you giving support when you tell them

Oh, I got frightened of the post too, a while back.
Every day bought official letters in brown envelopes which had to be dealt with.
I just left them all on the top of my microwave until I couldn't see it anymore.
I'm still dealing with the backlog a year later!
It really became a phobia, almost.

Would it make it any easier if you wrote them a letter MissA

Probably, if I was abroad somewhere for the foreseeable future.
As I have sort of mentioned it, I suppose i'll have to bring it up again. Eeek!

I also don't choose the phone as a means of communicating. It seems as if email and text is impersonal, yet because of both my social life is much better as stuff gets arranged using them, so clearly not

Leaving a job for a better life balance and flextime is understandable and reasonable. I think everyone would do the same if they had the opportunity.

Oldwoman 70 has phrased it well.

MissAdventure I used to be like that but then I learned to 'feel the fear and do it anyway!" It's amazing what you can do when you tell yourself you can/have to. Life is too short and all that. [flowers}

Somebody told me about " the rule of 10"......will it matter in 10 minutes/hours /days /weeks.
I sometimes use that .

Miss A , if you leave your current job , you are helping somebody else who needs a job.

Yes, everything you've all said is true.
I need to man up and just do it!

Phoning my doctors for an appointment or repeat
prescription having been with the same practice for over twenty years.You would think I could get past the ' blithering idiot' stage. I even thought of changing to another practice but could get the same there as faces change everywhere and people retire but should I have to tolerate being spoken to the way I am by the likes of those who were but a glint in their fathers eye when I first registered at that surgery all those years ago.

You'll be fine, MissA. You have very valid reasons for moving on, which they can't fail to understand, even though they don't want to lose you.

Strange you should mention a fear of phones. I came across some very old letters just the other day (written when I was a teenager, so virtually antique) and there were several mentions of me not being able to phone people and steeling myself to do it. I had totally forgotten that I was ever nervous about using a phone!

The phone example certainly seems to have hit a spot, its true.
I wonder why?

I'm another who has a phone phobia. With family I'm fine, it phoning organisations or services that I have a problem with. I always try to get DH to do it.
It's funny that when I was at work phone calls didn't bother me at all. Even when phoning Resident's relatives to give them bad news.

Whenever I leave a voice mail, I tend to ramble and invariably the second beep leaves me hanging mid sentence. I end up feeling foolish and insecure. That's my pet peeve.... I have often hung up without leaving a message at all (how awful is that?). I now keep a little written script on hand. I helps me whenever I hear those words "...leave a message" followed by that long, ominous 'beep'.

I just wanted to add that it's normal for a life change (loss of a job, trip, divorce, etc.) to cause fear and anxiety. What many of us don't realize is that change also provides opportunity. By finding the opportunities in every new experience, our fears and anxieties can instead turn into anticipation and excitement!

MissA try to imagine yourself pleasantly telling them how much you have enjoyed working there but that you have been offered something more convenient.
Perhaps you could offer to stay until they have found a replacement? That way, you would have no need to feel guilty and you would be helping them too.
Then, this is the important bit, imagine how very relieved you will feel because you have actually told them and got it out of the way.

Miss A, you’ve had such sad times and have accomplished so much, you can do this, give yourself a huge pat on the back for being brave enough to look for a more convieinent job, you will find it easier the sooner you do it Good Luck and well done x

Depending on how relaxed or formal your workplace is, you could either: 1) Just go in merrily, plonk your bag down and say to the room at large 'Well folks, it's time to go time. I've enjoyed being here but feel that it's not the right fit for me' OR, to your HR dept, boss or senior manager, 2) 'I'd like to tender my resignation as from X (day) as I don't feel that the job is quite the right fit. I need to look at other alternatives where I'm more comfortable. It's not one particular thing, just the overall feeling that it's not making me as happy as I want to be.' Hopefully, that shuts down any persuasive arguments they may have.
I wish you luck...but you won't need it, I'm sure.
Don't expand on reasons, keep it short and sweet. You need to feel right in the job and you don't.
My mum used to hate answering the phone. Things like that and 'confrontational' situations such as handing in your resignation, can be a wall many find hard to climb.
You will do just fine. Deep breath and just say it.
Afterwards, a reward or and

MissA I don't think you are afraid.
It is more likely that you don't like letting people down or leaving them in the lurch.

Write a little speech/letter with all the positive things that you have enjoyed whilst working for the company and then very quickly follow with 'However due to unforeseen circumstances things have now changed' (hopefully they will think it is of a personal nature and not ask for reasons)
Please except my my resignation.

Have a treat waiting for you at home
Cream cake or glass of wine ?.
When the worry worm strikes picture yourself back at home enjoying your well deserved treat.

I often feel a little worried when I have to put petrol in the car and air in the tyres. When I've done it I feel immensely pleased with myself.

Another one who hates making phone calls. Don't mind answering the phone though.
And Presentations. I've even been on courses on 'making presentation for those who hate making presentations'. I just turn into a jibbering wreck even though I might know everyone in the room. Fortunately retired now and avoid all such situations.

I was once given the present I had given to my friend the previous Christmas.
She said she knew I would like it as I loved William Morris.

I'm another who prefers to dash off an email rather than pick up the phone but tomorrow I've got several phone calls to make, can't put them off.

I can put petrol in the car but can't do my tyres lovebeigecardigans1955

Motorway driving is something I've always hated since I passed my test in 1973. I'm steeling myself for a 300 mile (each way) journey soon mostly Motorway, it's getting worse as I get older, Give me lovely Devon or Yorkshire country roads any day

Oh and I can put letters on one side rather than opening them often to find they're not as bad as I thought or even sometimes contain pleasant surprises

I have only recently overcome my morbid fear of the dentist . Nothing would persuade me to go , and I haven't been for many years although I knew I should .Then recently I had a private trauma in my life and felt as low as I could be So decided that if that was how I felt , nothing could be worse and made an appointment!I now have no fear at all and I'm having a course if treatment, ! I've also booked holiday to visit family on a 22 hour flight and I'm looking forward to that as well., after also terrified of flying.!snow all I need is to get over fear of spiders and I will be fine tho can't see that happening. By the way I've just turned 70 !