The most annoying phrases heard in your house!

tinafl, yours is my favourite so far. Very droll. Don't think I've encountered that before but it is so accurate. Mine only happened once when my newish husband proudly announced that he had done my ironing. It didn't happen twice. However was a fun source for years each time we assessed individual contribution to the need for a particular chore.

My DH once accused me of moving his PlayStation cable from the back of the TV. His logic was he knew he didn't move it so I must have. Not something he used often so he didn't know when it vanished. We rarely argue, but it went backwards and forwards between us for days with him adamant I MUST have moved it when I was dusting. And me equally adamant I hadn't. Days later our grown up son dropped in and DH mentioned it to which DS replied he was sorry he borrowed it one day when we were out and had forgotten about it. Did I get an apology from DH? Nope. He was still right because he knew he hadn't moved it. Men!!

The phrase I hear often is "well where did you leave it?." If I knew it would not be lost

Ah the memories. Alas I only have myself to blame but nevertheless I couldn't help but smile at the familiarities.

"Why didn't you ask me to do that for you, instead of struggling with it on your own"? This, after days/weeks/months of asking and getting no response

As you are going in the supermarket......”what do we need”? I now read the entire list out loud every time.

Keep them coming....I’ll smile all day and hope they bring smiles from others.

People who say "could of" instead of "could have"

This thread has made me smile a lot and I have experienced a few or similar myself.

When I'm preparing a meal, "Is there anything I can do to help?", late enough that there is no danger of there being anything left to do.

"I'll do it tomorrow" why would he think I am asking him to do something now, if I wanted it done tomorrow.

"The problem is.............(pick a non-problem)" - repeat all day until wife is climbing the walls.

The REAL problem is that OH keeps saying "The problem is....."

No1. I've emptied your bins. ( Put out the wrong ones)
No2 oh I was just going to do that ( had the 9 hours I was at work to do it.)
No 3
I've cleared the snow from he driveway.( Managed to make an 18 inch wide path and covered it with ash so I wouldn't slip !!!!!) Need I say more .

Also that 'Have you seen such and such? I put it there and now it's gone.' I tell him I haven't seen it and he says 'oh that's strange because I put it right there'. I say 'So you're saying I moved it then'. 'No' he says 'but I put it there'. I tell him that there are only two of us living here, so he must be saying I moved it. Then he finds it in a totally different place where he actually put it. It's a good job I'm perfect that's all I can say!

That's the beauty of not living with your OH/partner.
Nothing gets moved or eaten unless I move it or eat it, so that last cold roast potato or slice of home-baked apple pie, is still in the fridge until I fancy a snack.

Mine is , I have looked everywhere it's not here!

Oh yes, mine is - would you like me to do that FOR YOU - peel potatoes, sweep up his mess/ bring in washing/etc

My DH was in a job where he used a radio to communicate with colleagues. Thanks to his job and being rather too near to loud explosions etc he is now very deaf. When he doesn't hear what I say (which despite hearing aids) is almost every blooming time he says "say again" as he would on the radio. I swear I'm going to have it carved on his gravestone!!!!!!
That and "where's my.....?" When he hasn't even tried to look for it. Grrrrrr

Mine says, if I've been out and just come back 'I've taken the vacuum round'. Wait while I get you a medal. He's very good around the house though to be honest. Not house related, but every time I say I have a minor ailment he says 'it's to be expected at our age'. Every time! Well I got ailments when I was 12 actually.

Who left the shed door open ?? now why would I go into his shed what reason do I have to go into there.

In this house its "Your cat has been on the litter/been sick" when its usually "Daddys little boy!
Or "Your washing is still out" when its a full load of his work gear.
The best one was when I returned from 2 weeks away at my daughters "I did your washing" meaning all the things he had worn while I was away but not the bedding, towels etc.

Nothing now, but still remember ‘ your car won’t start, your car has a puncture’ rest of the time it was ‘ I need to take my car today ‘.

“What you need to is.....” - usually uttered pleasantly from a chair whilst I’m doing anything my own way ?

One of mine is” you are doing that all wrong”. I had this statement made too me as I started to defrost the freezer. I have been defrosting our freezer for 40 years or so, alone, unaided and completely successfully. OH stood and watched me the other day, he who has NEVER NEVER NEVER defrosted a freezer in his life and uttered that phrase.
He was SO lucky I wasn’t standing next to the knife block.
Thank god he’s retired now and can point out where Im going wrong

How about - Daph's been in the tray - I've put it outside! What's wrong with emptying it?!

Or - the cat's being sick shouted from the sofa as I'm in the kitchen/working or nowhere in sight!

We spent an hour the other day searching for the Playstation handset (which he never uses by the way) in every conceivable place including several boxes in the garage. Did you look by the tv says I - yes says grumpy (by this time bemoaning the fact he'd have to throw the thing away) - did you look under the tv? Um no - didn't think of that - and there it was!