Have you ever?

I refused to allow the children in my class to sit on the long bench in the bus as there were no seat belts, but sat there myself as there were no other seats. The bus lurched round a corner, and I slid its length and landed on my bottom in the aisle. None of the children even laughed, so I was able to reinforce the point about seat belts, somewhat shakily.

mine happened when I was 17 ,I was sent to the dental hospital for checks on a broken tooth.Being very fashion conscious I get dressed up for my trip to Glasgow .Oxford bags in a scarlet and white stripe as I remember.The appointment was a bit of a disaster as my new boyfriend was one of the student dentists who gathered round to peer at my broken tooth,I was very embarasssed but even more so when I stood up and stepped onto my trousers and landed flat on my face .I couldn't get out fast enough .

Definitely an Ooooh Betty moment Maggiemaybe!

Not me this time , but GrannyGravy’s story has reminded me that a friend’s son slipped from the seat of a ski lift on a school trip and completed the journey clinging onto his teacher’s feet. The poor woman said afterwards that she really thought she was going to die.

My 2 Michael Crawford moments happened over 30 years ago on our first skiing holiday with 2 of our C. Husband and C took to it like ducks to water, I however couldn't turn right, which was unfortunate as the children's drag lift was on the left. After I had wiped out the C's nursery class on numerous occasions I overheard my C say in a very loud voice that's not my Mummy, just some odd lady in the same clothes!!!!!

Towards the end of the week I was on the chairlift with my instructor, the rest of the class had got off before us, he said right ski off now, I didn't!!! Which meant I went round the "whirligig" and started back down the mountain, the lift had to be stopped, an enormously long ladder emerged, with ski instructor climbing up to rescue me!!!!!

I was once a Sunday school teacher. It was my turn to buy the fruit for the harvest festival, so that all the children would have something to give, if they'd forgotten to bring a contribution.
I was carrying bags of assorted apples, pears, bananas and oranges past the town centre bus stops. There were three busses full of people, and others mulling around.
I tripped over a kerb and went flying. The fruit went bouncing across the road in all directions. I wasn't hurt, just covered with embarrassment!
Not one person helped me gather up the fruit. I managed to find it all, and gathered it up. I must have entertained the people in the busses. ??

Oh dear. I am laughing at all these incidents. I think Maggiemaybe wins though - just hilarious.

Out with my son walking his boisterous dog in a park on the end of a 25ft lunging rein...dog is liable to run off if let loose...I made the mistake of standing 24ft away from him,he ran around me in ever diminshing circles,until like Del boy in the iconic bar scene,I toppled side ways to the ground bound but fortunately not gagged( my language less than lady like) as my son helpless with laughter couldnt untangle or help me up..has earned me the nickname nanny cannonball

Not sure if this counts, and have mentioned this before, but on a train, after too much coffee, went to the loo pulled down the trousers of my suit, but forgot the thong, consequently weed all over it, couldn't face the contortions of trying to get it under the hand dryer, neither could I face going into a client meeting smelling of wee, so took it off, chucked it in the bin and had to go commando for the rest of the day.

I smacked into our patio door carrying a plate of dinner and the plate hit me in the ribs - very painful (and messy).

Maggiemaybe that's what pigeons do - leave a lovely imprint on the windows!

Oh yes, there was also the time I rushed to stop my DC shaking the sand out of their sandals over the balcony of our hotel room, not realising the glass balcony door was shut. I smashed into it at force, rebounded backwards across the room and landed on my back on the bed, holding my nose and moaning. I'd got suncream on and left an imprint of my face on the glass door like the one on the Turin shroud.

I once jumped off a bus prior to a night out, the bus went on its way and I realised I had left the heel of my right stiletto shoe wedged on the bus platform.
The best thing to do was take off my other shoe and spend the evening shoeless. I was a very long way from home too, but luckily I was with a very nice boyfriend - he hared after the bus to retrieve the heel but alas, it had gone!
(no, dear reader, I did not marry him)

Oh dear, BlueBelle! I once sat on a ledge by the middle exit door on a tour bus in Rome. As the door opened at the next stop, the hydraulic lever next to me squeezed me along until I was squashed squealing into a tiny space and thrown out like a cork from a bottle. I landed on my hands and knees on the floor while people got off around me. DH picked me up all bruised and battered and deposited me on a seat, saying not to worry, nobody noticed. Nobody noticed!! Neither of us could breathe for laughing for the rest of the journey.

Where do I start?! ( ^I am inclined to be clumsy^ )

When my new spaniel puppy arrived, I was determined to do a decent job of lead training.
Complete with treat in hand, we set out - with my hand at knee level.

It became clear that there was a problem: spaniel puppies are quite small, and I am over 5'10". Keeping her focus on my hand precluded seeing where I was going.

Which is why I walked into a lamp post.
Lamp posts clang when bumped into heavily.
Which is why the puppy was scared, and ran behind me.....tangling my legs in the lead, in the process.
Which is why I ended up on my rear end.
You could not dream up such a ridiculous scene.

Which still does not explain why the gentleman walking past thought it appropriate to say " Good morning"!!