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When we get mad at our OH

(80 Posts)
grannysue05 Tue 11-Sept-18 13:54:45

Been in Soops kitchen recently and noticed that Granny&Gramps had fallen out and were "not talking" !
Hope they soon make-up but I then thought that is just what happens in our household when Mr GrannySue and me fall out.
My DH stops speaking to me and goes all stiff lipped.
I go huffy and silent.
We keep this up for a while and then inevitably collapse with laughter at some silly thing that crops up!
We never bear grudges, and the sun never sets on our quarrels.
What do the rest of you do?

paddyann Tue 11-Sept-18 14:47:18

we dont fall out ,honest.We think the same way about most things and we're always happy to try to convert the other to something we dont think the same on.We've worked and lived together for 44 years and can count on one hand the number of disagreements we had.Usually when the children were little and I thought he was being too disciplinarian .
As to his untidyness,well I just pick up as I go,no point in letting stuff like that annoy you even though his mother tells me she would have divorced him decades ago if he'd been her husband ...lol.I do admit to being very laid back

Teetime Tue 11-Sept-18 14:50:17

I say sorry!!!

NanaandGrampy Tue 11-Sept-18 14:50:28

Its ok GrannySue , it only last about half and hour and all is now well in Nana and Grampy's house !!

I'd say our falling out these days is minimal and nowhere near the fiery debate we would have had 40 years ago.

grannysue05 Tue 11-Sept-18 15:12:16

Oh NanaandGrampy glad its all ok now. Although from reading your various posts on GN, I knew all would be well.
I would have loved to have seen the 'fiery debate' from forty years ago though!

DanniRae Tue 11-Sept-18 15:38:45

Mr R has annoyed me today already! We had a man in putting some tiles above a new sink and when we have people in he will keep chatting to them Yes make them a hot drink - yes offer them a biscuit but they have work to do so let them get on with it
We seem to have a disagreement about something or other most days. We exchange 'opinions' - sometimes loudly - go quiet for a while them it blows over and all is ok.
Neither of us are laid back so we clash but we have been married for 48 years so I can't see either of us changing now.

Bathsheba Tue 11-Sept-18 15:57:29

DanniRae you and your DH sound exactly like me and Mr B! He always has to keep talking to anyone who comes in to do a job of work for us - as if they're all lifelong buddies. And like you, I'm thinking 'for God's sake let him/them get on with the job - especially if they're charging for their time shock.
We clash regularly too - we're both 'always right' of course grin so the odd heated disagreement discussion is pretty par for the course in our house. Mr B used to go all quiet and stop talking to me, but he learnt from the master and can now be quite vocal. Oh dear blush
Still, 47 years married, so it's obviously not been all bad...

merlotgran Tue 11-Sept-18 16:05:31

We often have a quick argument. Soon over. Neither of us CBA to sulk.

Billybob4491 Tue 11-Sept-18 16:17:24

Been together 56 years, never had a row.

callgirl1 Tue 11-Sept-18 16:57:33

Before he died, hubby and I were married just over 53 years. In that time, there were many heated arguments, neither of us really won, but oh how I wish there was someone to have a heated argument with now.

MiniMoon Tue 11-Sept-18 17:04:16

My DH and I never fall out. My mother gave me the best piece of advice on my wedding day. She said Minni, I have one thing to say to you about a happy marriage, remember, your husband is always right, even when he's wrong".
It has stood me in good stead through the years.

DanniRae Tue 11-Sept-18 17:11:53

Bathsheba..........smile

Greyduster Tue 11-Sept-18 17:50:03

Ogden Nash had it bang to rights when he wrote:
“To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.“

I have always assumed that this advice was directed at husbands ?!

Luckygirl Tue 11-Sept-18 18:20:26

We used to have arguments - especially about his driving!! Hmmm!

But sadly driving is off his agenda now, so that source of strife has come to an end.

I am inclined not to believe those who say they have never had a difference of opinion!!

cornergran Tue 11-Sept-18 18:26:47

Argue? Of course we do although with less energy these days. Afraid I'm not always a tolerant soul and opinions can and do vary. We understand well enough the things we differ about. Usually we find a middle ground and move on, often laughing at ourselves, it seems to work. Or has so far smile

ChaosIncorporated Tue 11-Sept-18 18:35:20

We never argued. I was well trained, from childhood, to accept that a husband was always right.
It took 30 years of marriage and a divorce for me to realise he was, in fact, a ** idiot!

I have come to realise that healthy disagreement is exactly that.

Luckylegs Tue 11-Sept-18 18:37:22

We’ve been married for nearly 50 years and we have an “argument/disagreement/row” most days! We are astonished if we go for a couple of days without any kind of aggro but it never lasts long! If only he wouldn’t be so argumentative or awkward, we’d get on so much better........!

Bathsheba Tue 11-Sept-18 18:44:38

If only he wouldn’t be so argumentative or awkward, we’d get on so much better........!

Luckylegs grin

Luckylegs Tue 11-Sept-18 18:46:11

I know! I’m a saint, of course!

Diana54 Tue 11-Sept-18 20:52:54

We were married 36 yrs and I did let him do his thing without too much hassle, but, if I had a serious issue with his ideas or intentions he knew to back off. He did look after me generously so very little need to crack the whip.

grannyactivist Tue 11-Sept-18 23:12:30

I grew up in a household where rowing was the norm; really, really bad rows that were sometimes terrifying and ended violently. So, I don't do rows. hmm

The Wonderful Man grew up with his Wonderful Parents who had civilized discussions until they came to an agreement. So, he doesn't do rows either. grin

morethan2 Wed 12-Sept-18 06:41:09

When we were young and passionate we had some flaming rows, not so much now we’re older and wiser. We still occasionally have a disagreement but they are more niggles than rows really. If somthing upsets me he will definitely know about it. I’ve never been the bottle it up type (as many of my past posts will testify blushHes more inclined to be a bit of sulker. We laugh more than row now. Oh well somthing had to replace all that passion I suppose.

M0nica Wed 12-Sept-18 08:10:43

Neither of us like rows, but we do 'bicker', DD's description.

sodapop Wed 12-Sept-18 08:23:26

I was very fiery when I was younger, missiles flying etc. I am much calmer now as my second husband is not reactive and does not fly off the handle when I do something silly
(not often you understand). Unfortunately my face shows when I am cross and other people have been known to back off after seeing my expression.

DanniRae Wed 12-Sept-18 08:31:01

I always suspect that when people say that they never row it is because one person is calling all the shots and the other is saying "Yes dear, No dear!"
It seems to me that it is impossible to be in perfect harmony 24 hours a day.........7 days a week. (A bit boring too I think hmm)