Genuinely phobic, or really not very keen on?

I do not necessarily agree with those who say a childhood experience causes fears which can be overcome with effort as science tells us that phobias are vestigial fears inculcated when spiders, snakes and other hazards were life threatening to early man. The childhood experiences might well be only the first manifestation of a phobia’s effect.

I would support this idea because I definitely have arachnophobia. I have trained myself not to mind small spiders or those with very thin legs like harvest spiders. In fact they are very like crane flies but six legged creatures bother me not the least.

However, the sight of a large, thick legged spider makes me jump, run and feel sick and sweaty. Strangely, the green, spiked stalk of a large tomato produces exactly the same result as they look so like spiders. I can not touch them either and they make me feel ill and fearful.

I know this is all nonsense and irrational as no native British spider can cause much harm. Therefore it must be phobic.

I have no intention of having any therapy as the very thought make me feel queasy and my phobia produces no effects which inhibit my life. In fact, with all the false widows and other beasties which seem to be entering our shores it might be very rational to remain wary!

It is somewhat vexatious to hear others who have no phobias tell, those who do to get over it. My mother has a snake phobia and birds send my husband into a tailspin. These phobias are real otherwise people could get over them.

(Or a migraine when they have a slight headache!)

phoenix your post yesterday @ 23.30. Yes that's my experience. I dislike rats and cockroaches for example and prefer to avoid them, but that's quite different from my true phobia of birds.

(This is a bit like when people with a runny nose and a slightly tickly throat say they have 'flu!)

I am Claustrophobic, the mere thought of an MRI scan will bring me out in cold sweats even weeks before I've had to have one (been for 3). I find using lifts difficult, can't get in a crowded one (& I've been trapped in one). I know where this stems from, as a small child I was hiding under a settle (wooden bench with stretchers between the legs & a back), I couldn't get out & panicked. Small or tight spaces bring on panic attacks. This is a genuine phobia unlike simply disliking things, I don't like wasps, moths, daddylonglegs but can cope with them

Magrithea Phobias are more extreme than just disliking or fearing something

That's exactly what I meant! I think some people are inclined to say that they have a "phobia" about something, when it's perhaps more of an intense dislike or fear. (Unpleasant for them, nonetheless)

I don't like Crane flies either but strangely I haven't seen any yet this year.

phoenix I think you have made a good point about having to cope when you were alone. I thought I couldn't deal with spiders until a massive one was in the washbasin in my rather remote student digs and I alone there. I realised then that part of my fear was the way my mother and older sister wailed and yelled at them and made dad get them out of the house. Now I like them and if one is stuck in the bath I leave a towel hanging into it so it can crawl up and out. After all, they didn't ask to be spiders any more than we asked to be people.

Nandalot (What an amazing name!) I think your DGS deserves some psychological help. It seems so sad to think he has his life ahead with this incapacitating fear. I would encourage his parents to ask for help. I would think very gentle and understanding systematic desensitisation would work for him and probably be better earlier while he is young. Poor little chap.

Jalima1108 I can't stand the word - the sound of it not the implications - "brexit" It sounds like someone being sick. I really thought nobody would use it when they began saying it! To me it sounds as bad as a really disgusting swear word, but now people will think my feelings are about what it actually is and not just the word itself, so I don't usually say anything.

I don't like the word buttons, it makes me feel squeamish, although I don't have a phobia about the actual thing.

Thank you Miss A. Good idea.

plugholes

Nandalot you could put press studs where the buttons would be.
I saw a woman on tv with a terrible fear of buttons; the ones with 4 holes in were the worst for her.
It made her virtually housebound, unable to go into her own garden in case there were any lost buttons lurking.

I'm often surprised by what I cope with if I have to.

DGS has a phobia about buttons. All the buttons on his school polo shirts have to be cut off. It is getting very difficult now that he is 7+ because trousers, apart from joggers, have zips with buttons at the top. Last year for school I bought him the next size up to use this year as they had an elasticated waist. Thank goodness because that same size this year, I can only find with zip and button. Any ideas how to solve this problem?

GrammaH Me too! Can admire some birds from afar but can't bear them anywhere close to me. When we've had feathered visitors in the house I've dashed for cover and shrieked for help. Fortunately there's usually been someone nearby to chase the bird out, but I did have to drag a neighbour out once to deal with a terrifying little blue tit. Visits to cities are very challenging as pigeons (and I can hardly bear to type the word...ugh!) seem to patrol every street. I couldn't walk across Trafalgar Square for £million.

Outdoor cafes are a no-no as they attract so many birds and it is embarrassing leaving or asking companions to move inside on a lovely sunny day. Bird phobia has such very wide-ranging implications, I could go on... and on and on, but I guess you've got the picture!

My father loved birds and was so sad that I had this problem, but blamed a woman on a bus dangling a freshly-killed Christmas goose under my nose when I was about nine years old.

I can't see anything to worry about in spiders of any size or mice but birds...now that's a different matter! I'm absolutely fine looking at them and we have a positive multitude of bird feeders, attracting many different varieties, but close proximity, especially if the poor thing is flapping, induces hysterics. One of my worst case scenarios is if one gets in the house. I've had to go out & shut it in & pray for assistance. I've also had the horrific experience of a seagull swooping down & stealing my ice cream, it was the stuff nightmares are made of. Apparently when I was very small, a neighbour used to let his budgie fly round the room and it landed on me which seems to've started it all off.

Mine is not bad enough to be a phobia, but it is a pretty horrible fear reaction. Palpitations, feeling sick, legs wobbling, all the rest...
As a phobia it's called Batophobia or fear of tall buildings. I'm only spooked by lone standing ones that rise up out of the ground and can be seen from miles around. I also hate steep sided flat walls beside rivers and water such as locks in canals. The cooling towers at the power station are almost impossible for me to drive past. I managed it once but am feeling sick writing this.

I am extremely interested in your phobia merlotgran. I feel very sorry for you. It must be so horrible and difficult to explain.

I had a panic attack when in the underground between Kings Cross and St Pancras about 5 years ago, because so many people were flooding towards me very fast, it was in a wide bit, and I had to squeeze against the wall. They kept coming and coming and were so noisy and rough. I could not move and thought I was having a heart attack. I can't go there now.

Anyone remember George Cansdale? I was given one of his books for my 8th birthday and have not been able to look at a snake of TV since. DH tells me when they have gone away.

I dislike fish, both goldfish and others kept in aquaria, fish in the sea or a river, alive and well, and the dead ones in the fishmonger's.

I can cook and eat fish, as long as the don't have their heads! I can only cut the heads off fish, I am preparing for a meal, by wrapping paper round the head first.

It isn't a true phobia, as I don't turn shaky or sick and I have no idea why I feel like this about fish, nor when it started. My mother didn't know either, but said I had always been like that about fish.

I do know that when I was small I was allowed to see whatever was on the TV just before "Watch with Mother" and I have often wondered if something I saw scared me.

The same as DanniRae and Jana. I go cold at the thought. About 20 years ago I was in Blackpool with my husband and as we walked along the prom there was a man with one draped around his neck - I took my chances with an oncoming tram rather than stay on the same side of the road.

Merlotgran Me too! Urgh I have suffered for years and didn’t know the name of it, family say I am being ridiculous! But there you are ?

Dgd has a complete phobia about sickness/diarrhoea to the extent it has excluded her from some experiences....sleepovers (even with us) trips with family etc. She underwent CBT a couple of years ago and can now do all these things, however, when her mum was unwell a couple of weeks ago she had a total hysterical meltdown. We think we know some of the reasons behind the reaction to her mum but it’s very, very distressing for all concerned.

Nonnie, I spoke about my phobia of snow on this forum a few years ago, was encouraged to seek help, I saw a psychologist who worked in the local mental hospital and also had a private practice. I saw him as a private patient , thank to family help) , talked things through , nothing came to mind, then he tried hypnosis, I became very distressed , he was sure of the cause of my phobia, but I still have it. The time it started fitted with his understanding of the cause, so I think he was right.

DH's mother was scared of thunder storms and used to take him into a cupboard when they happened. He carried this fear into our marriage until he realised I wasn't scared, I love them, and he rationalised his fear and is fine now.

Like many others I was scared of spiders but when I had sons I knew I couldn't pass this on so got brave and put a mug over them until DH could remove them, now I remove them myself.

Scribbles I feel the same about crowds and am very, very uncomfortable and avoid whenever possible but I have always put that down to being short.

There is something I can't eat or smell without feeling sick but I know it is associated with an event many years ago. I should therefore be able to overcome it but I can't seem to.