Was this appropriate?

I agree with mountain out of a molehill remarks mentioned previously,it's good to have open conversations about all topics( for example TV programmes as well as everyday occurences)
My DH is a boob man, and I like men with brown eyes!

Reminds me of a time, ages ago, we were having a chicken meal with my parents and two old widowed aunties. Aunty P. was carving the chicken and asked my husband "are you a breast or a legs man?"
I was rather surprised, but she was always very outspoken.
Our teenage children were there too.
I would try to make light of it, SallyAnn.

It's very unkind to call men boobs men just because they can grow boobs in older age.

I think talking openly about sexual attraction is healthy. It is a fact that people are attracted to others , initially, by different physical appearance. The fact that grandad & grandson discussed this is not in itself a bad thing! Context is everything. If grandson had asked grandad directly about this I understand why grandad may have answered as is suggested in OP. It might be less appropriate for the adult to have initiated the conversation and not guided grandson to think of women as more than just different sexual component parts! He may have done..but what made daughters laugh was maybe thought of their old dad even having a sexual side to him! Ageist!

I think open dialogue is far more healthy than treating children as toddlers until they're 52!
Very different if grandad talked about little else, but having sensible family to chat to is important.

I may be on my own here, but I think it is a good thing if a granddad can talk to his 14 year old grandson about the opposite sex and what men look at!

Obviously, not knowing the details of the OP's husband's conversation with his grandson, I can't comment on it, but in general it's fine if the grandparent and parent of the same sex as a 14 year old can discuss sex with them without embarrassment.

We all know teenagers are curious about sex, and believe me, some of the things they hear from their school friends are just as far from the truth as the things we picked up that way at their age.

Surely, it is a fact of life that men look at women and women look at men, unless their sexual preference is for their own sex?

I don't see anything demeaning in that, though I would have asked my DH not to use the word "boobs", which happens to be my pet hate.

Remember the anecdote from our young days of the Englishwoman in Paris who complained to a gendarme that men were passing remarks about her in the street.
His reply was, "Mais, que voulez- vous? Surely Madame, you will be sad the day no-one any longer finds you attractive, n'est-pas?"

Teenaged boys don't just start having sexual feelings at the age of consent and often don't want to talk about those things with their Mum's. My son was 11 when he started to take notice of girls and I found out by an innocent remark he made about females with natural breasts. I was quite shocked at the time but pointed out that maybe ogling them was not the thing to do. He pointed out that most of them were at his eye level so they were difficult to miss. We laughed about that but also talked about how females felt, the emotions he might feel, etc. I was lucky because he was always open with me but had he been with my Dad at the time, I would have accepted that he was equally capable of having that chat.
We are programmed to notice the bits that attract us to the opposite sex which is what keeps us interested in keeping the human race going. I am particularly attracted to men's eyes and comment on it to a friend. Does that mean I am objectifying men? I don't do it in a lewd way or make those men feel uncomfortable about it and that if it were an area of the body which was considered more sexual, I'd be exactly the same.

Oh for heavens sake forget it! No big deal, probably just a light hearted comment. Without listening to the whole conversation though it's hard to know the context. You've told him you diapprove. Now move on.

Pity that you have nothing else to worry about.
Mountain out of a molehill.

I've spoken in passing to my grandson about his preferences. No disrespect, not inappropriate, just conversation.
I now know that he doesn't like girls covered in make up or too skinny.

I think fluttERBY is right the comment was inappropriate to a young grandson. Don't get it out of proportion though, just an off the cuff remark. Perhaps Mum now has the opportunity to discuss why this was inappropriate with her son.
I'm sure the grandson will understand how things have changed. Don't cause a rift over
this, you need to pick your battles.

I would say most men are either boob, bum or ankle men. No harm in that. To me the problem lies in intergenerational talk about sex etc. Should be limited to one's own peer group.

I might talk about sex or off colour jokes to my friends maybe, or talk about the opp sex, but not to my parents or children.

Then G'dad points out that this is a disrespectful way to discuss women!
Query if he'd ask the question in the company of Mum or G'ma and if not then surely he /they can see that it's inappropriate!

If your husband started the conversation that led to this remark then that does feel wrong on all kinds of levels, however, I have noticed on a few occasions over the years that the older males in a family feel quite anxious as to whether the young males of the family are going to like girls or not. Your husband grew up when attitudes were entirely different to today and from the little we know it sounds as if he got it wrong and is cross with himself, unlikely he will do it again.

Why is it appropriate for women to make comments on men's anatomy but not vice-versa? Both sexes are attracted by the physical attributes of the other sex! It happens throughout the animal kingdom!

The comments were probably repeated out of context and your husband was probably annoyed that you were making a fuss about it, as I would too!

There's no evidence that your husband did anything inappropriate, your daughters don't have a problem, nor should you!

Personally, I don't have a particular preference but still admire a pretty girl when I see one!

Maybe the 14 year old simply asked his grandad if he was a boob or legs man.
14 year olds do know about these things.

Yes, you are absolutely right, this is highly inappropriate on several levels. The young lad is at an impressionable age and may be taking what a possibly revered grandad has said totally on board. As a liberated 60's chick (!) I find the progress towards equality is depressingly slow. It's not helped by suggesting women be objectified in some way.

As for discussing sexual preferences in this manner with a young person under the age of consent - that's not on. Totally different if there are gender issues of course, but suspect that wouldn't have been brought up at a family do.

No.

I'm with M0nica. At the very least, if your DD thought your DH was objectifying women, this sort of conversation gives her the opportunity to discuss how important it was to avoid this.

I agree with starbird - it could well have been your grandson who initiated the conversation, and your husband simply responded without really thinking. Grandson is obviously at ease with mentioning 'boobs' to your daughter - perhaps you should be happy that grandson and grandfather have such a good relationship. It would be quite a different matter if grandson was 12 or under. I don't think or feel 'degraded' by hearing of men's preferences when it comes to being attracted to women, I have certainly voiced my preferences regarding the opposite sex: dark eyebrows, strong thumbs and no knock-knees!. I don' t think I'm demeaning men by that.

However I would be worried if my husband were in the habit of secretly ogling page 3 models or worse (surprised to see recently in the local fish and chips shop that page 3 still exists!). In our house we talk quite freely about sexual attraction, and no - we're not 'swingers'.
Re. your husband, I think you are being too hard on him for what was probably a silly and jokey remark.
Vive la difference!

To be quite honest - I wouldn't have batted an eyelid! Also - being attracted to a particular body type is biology - not objectification.

I"m thinking that maybe you are as concerned/upset by the fact your daughter saw fit to bring this up in the first place, and treated it as funny along with your other daughters, while you felt embarrassed that your husband had overstepped the mark with your grandson. It has left a bad taste in your mouth in the fact that not only does your grandson know that grandad is "a boobs man" but your daughters know it too.! You have said your relationship with this daughter is a bit brittle so I am wondering if this just slipped out unintentionally or was it for effect and attention.
Some men and women as they get older find it quite difficult to accept the ageing process and say and do things which can come across as quite inappropriate in the eyes of others. Your husband will probably be more wary now what he says....least said now...soonest mended.

Monica: agree totally. To think males and females do not find particular physical attributes attractive is burying heads in sand. It's nature.

Vilifying a chap without knowing the full story isn’t a very nice thing to do.

I’m sure the OP knows her husband and surely knows that he wouldn’t do or say anything sleazy to her GS?

I'm with Eloethan. It's sleazy. Old man and adolescent? Grandad wanting to be down with the kids forgetting to act his age and with some maturity. Men can be very silly. We can all objectify but in adult company and awareness of those present.

In the nicest possible way, this was a conversation between grandad and grandson, nothing to do with anyone else. It is not up to you to censor your husbands conversations, you are not responsible for him.