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Should I take a gift? If so, what would be appropriate

(55 Posts)
Annakist Sun 22-Jul-18 17:26:50

I'll be visiting my sil who has dementia, and has moved into a residential home some three months ago. I last saw her in early April, when she was in hospital prior to the move, and she didn't recognise me. We've never been close, my db died 30 odd years ago, but we've kept in contact sporadically, I suspect more in his memory, both she and me! For information, it's going to take me more than 2.5 hours to get there, and I'll be using public transport, so what would be a useful/appropriate gift to take. I'm thinking maybe some nice soap, or a homemade cake, and that's where my imagination dries up.

I would really welcome any suggestions for those of you who maybe have experience of a similar situation with a family member.

All ideas much appreciated.

shysal Wed 25-Jul-18 10:39:44

I once bought a dementia patient one of these sequin cushions, which are very tactile. It was a great hit with her and also with all her visitors. I have one on which the GCs usually leave a message or design before they leave to remind me of them until the next visit.
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Magic-sequin-mermaid-reversible-two-tone-glitter-home-car-sofa-cushion-or-cover/282355587585?var=581473821618&hash=item41bdb45a01:m:m-9909uT6l3ECiw3bnOzZuQ

Annakist Fri 10-Aug-18 19:09:44

Just as an update, as many of you were so very kind and helpful with your suggestions; the visit went really well, although I had rather been dreading it. We laughed a lot, and while she knew she knew me, she couldn't remember who I was, but that really didn't matter. I think she had an enjoyable couple of hours.

I will go again, the travelling was OK, and it will all be easier next time, won't it. I got a super deal on the fare, and will watch out for that again.

Must confess to opening a rather nice bottle of red when I got home, and am now sitting with a very large glass and counting my blessings.

Apricity Sat 11-Aug-18 13:25:58

So glad the visit went well. It really is about the pleasure of the moment and the person's enjoyment of your visit rather than whether they are clear about who you are or even if they recall your visit later. And enjoy your well earned drink. ?

Lynne59 Sat 11-Aug-18 15:01:11

A teddy bear or other cuddly soft toy would be good. People with dementia at that level often enjoy holding and cuddling something soft.

I was a carer for 22 years, and many of my patients had dementia. I often bought them teddies, dolls, or even soft blankets and shawls.