Memories

I haven't blocked it out as I was grown up but I didn't cry at either of my parents' funerals even though we were very close. I felt sort of blank and detached and wished I could cry. A couple of weeks after my mother's funeral I had a minor argument with DH and burst into tears and couldn't stop for ages. I did tell him it was really about my mum not the row and he did comfort me. But not crying at a funeral is not a sign of not caring!!

Another strange thing about memory is when some tune or perfume suddenly triggers a memory you never knew you had.
This happens quite often to me.
Otherwise big gaps.
Though sometimes if I remember one thing, and keep dwelling on it, a sort of chain forms leading to other parts or those times. Could just be imagination?

I remember a lot about my childhood, from my brother being born when I was 2 onwards. I have been reminded more than usual of my teenage years recently as my best friend from then has just died - my sons have been having to listen to my reminiscences of our holidays together etc. I never cried at my parents' funerals or my husband's but did cry at this friend's funeral.

Yes I do have aphantasia. I can’t visualise things at all. I can’t see things in my ‘minds eye’.
All my family can though. I’m the odd one out

I have really strong memories of my childhood but when I mention something that happened to my sister she doesn’t remember anything. Almost makes me feel that I’m making it up!?

I have very strong memories of my childhood, so strong they are like movies and I can play incidents in my head. I could probably paint scenes from my life if I was any good at painting. I used to stay with my grandparents all summer and go out with grandad on his delivery round, I can remember it in huge detail. He was a fishmonger and used to fillet the fish for his customers, so the gear stick and steering wheel on his van were silver with fish scales. There was no passenger seat and I used to sit on a box of live crabs!

My earliest memories are from when I was about 2 years old (cutting my feet on some glass on the carpet). I am 51 now - and I remember lots from my childhood and teenage years. My youngest however is 22 years old and cannot remember much from when she was a young child. We recall memories from the past, things she did etc and she doesn't remember them happening. Just the way it is I guess.

1974cookie - It is possible that we block out memories when they are painful and many dont cry at funerals - it doesn't mean they don't care. We all handle grief in our own way.

I remember some things from my childhood but not a lot
My memories of my secondary school are not great but then I hated it and I think you lock out the things that made you unhappy.
I loved being a teenager in the sixties great time to be a teen and remember lots of parties, dances theatre and holidays.

No, not an age thing, for most people anyway. Memories depend upon just how seriously we considered events in the past. Some seem to be forever hard wired into the brain and will always be there ready to be recalled. Others are there but the recall needs a lot of mental effort and time.

Our brains are simply the best of computers. While we sleep the day's events are sifted and least important are discarded while the rest are placed in memory in some form of order of importance. Just how that is done the medics have yet to discover.

I have wonderful memories of my childhood & teenage years. My earliest memory is of climbing on to the roof to find my DF who was whitewashing the chimney stack, think I probably scared the life out of him. My teens in late 60s & early 70s was a brilliant time.

I'm another who doesn't cry at Funerals, not even DH's who I adored, yet I can cry at other things quite easily. I'm like my DM in that respect, we grieve in our own way.

I am 67 and very much like you Wilma65. I cannot Romberg anything at all below eight and only very traumatic or significant things then fur maybe another 4 or 5 years. I normally have a very good memory for most things that actually matter, like the children and grandchildren’s names, but I do know that my mind deliberately but unconcsiously rubs out unnecessary information so, for example, within six months of leaving any job, I really had absolutely no idea what the people I worked with were called and now, after 2 1/2 years retirement, everything about huw I did my job, which room I worked in and the entire team are completely gone.

I can remember going with my father to register my little brother's birth when I was two and how happy he was to register him. I remember the office and the furniture. It was a day to remember and remember I have, for about 67 years now.

I cant remember very much about my school days and this is more obvious when I speak to 3 old school friends and they can remember names, places and teachers names and its all a blur to me. I do wonder if it was because I was bullied at school and never enjoyed school whatsoever

How much people remember of their childhood varies from person to person, even with siblings.

I remember lots of things, from when I was two and onward, my younger sister remembered nearly nothing and my husband is the same as she was.

As an adult, I have blanks in my memory regarding times when I was unhappy.

Not crying at a funeral is certainly not a sign that you didn't love the person whose funeral it was. Lots of people are still in a state of shock and disbelief over the death at the funeral. Others do not cry, because they just cannot do so in public. Grief can be just as heart-felt and heart-rending even if it is not on public display. I cried very little at my mother's funeral, as I felt my father and sister needed me to be strong - I made up for it at both of their funerals!

I remember a fair bit of my childhood, facts backed up when my family were around and we chatted about the past, however, the memory that always sticks in my mind, is when my brother was born ( at home) .
The midwifes bag had a broken lock, Dad had to fetch his tools to unlock it and when he did my baby brother popped out of the bag!
I’m not sure what went wrong with that memory as I remember it so clearly..........

One of my earliest memories was being in a rowing boat with my parents in the marina at Weston Super Mare. My father was rowing. He gave my mother the oars and she dropped one. Dad took the remaining oar and we circled whilst he retrieved the lost oar. I must have been about 18months old.

As a forces child, I attended about 12 schools in all. I can recall names of many schoolmates from pretty well all these schools. I am puzzled that I remember more than a schoolfriend with whom I am still in touch who hardly remembers anyone.

Very strange.

As regards memories - I only wish I had more photographs of my childhood - there isn't even one a year. There are a few more of my children, but nothing like nowadays when nearly every move of young people is photographed or videoed and admired instantly. Not like my day - take a photo, just the one, of something happening and then wait a year to see how it looked.

I'm like you Wilma. I can remember very little from my childhood or early teenage years. My sister remembers more than I do. And I even struggle to remember old schoolfriends, some of whom remember me. But I can remember snatches of small insignificant events, almost like snapshots. My hubby remembers a lot of his childhood. Yet I generally have a very good memory but he has a terrible one. Very strange.

Wilma this is actually a medical condition. It’s called aphantasia. My mother has never been able to visualise anything in her minds eye. She Researched it and discovered it was an actual thing. She mostly finds it hard to follow directions. She can, however, remember parts of her early childhood vividly.

I have an almost photographic memory of my childhood. I remember being in my cot and prams. (The big pram as a baby and a pushchair when a toddler) My mother also remembered being in her pram so maybe it's inherited.

we are all different in what can be remembered I am now mid 70.s and can remember back to about 4 staying at my gran parents fun times walking everywhere most people lived in council houses, leave the door unlocked etc .most did not have cars etc etc lived simply.no tvs etc .listened to radio programs .I think many people were a lot happier then.
today many have financial worries, grand children would rather text if you have a phone could go on say a lot more.
the younger generation want instant gratification .never satisfied .I have three grown up living away from home need i say more ask other parents and grand parents !

I don't have lots of childhood memories but what surprises & concerns me is the misremembered things by my two years younger sister. Our parents had a rather miserable marriage, I loved my dad, (Mum used to beat me), sister worshipped our Mum, but hated our war disabled Dad though she admits he never touched her or did anything to hurt her. We're both in our late 60s & she told me she remembered Dad killing a snake when we walked in the local woods when she was about 4. It really didn't happen...he gently moved some leaves with his walking stick to show us a beautiful basking grass snake, then carefully covered it back over. How come she remembers violence & cruelty that wasn't there?

I don't really trust that people who say they remember stuff vividly really do remember 'what actually happened' - ask a couple of people you knew years ago about 'that teacher' 'that dance' - whatever - their memory of the actual facts of the events will be SO different. As for 'significant' events, family rows etc - all very edited. I have accepted that my idea of what happened is just that. Others experienced those same events differently.

My middle son remembers nothing of his early childhood. I think he had blocked it out as I was very ill at the time and he was badly bullied by his brother.

I can hardly recall anything from my early days. Can just remember going to school I think 1st day. Even photos do not prompt memories of childhood. From about 10 years old I can remember more. Perhaps I didn't have a very momentous childhood. Doesn't worry me at all.