Just pop in for a moment

My sympathy on the death of your mother ...always a sad time even when expected. Your mother's care home had no right to speak to you in those terms .......I often see criticism of 'children' who abandon parents into old folk's homes, or leave them in a hospital bed, thereby bed blocking ...but time have changed, and 'children' now often live a long way away, or have full time jobs or perhaps caring for grandchildren ....in an ideal world we would all have property large enough to build a granny flat, and money to pay for private care ....however the reality is something else and we all do what we can. I asked my dad to live with me (I had a big enough house in the UK)...he refused ............I lived 200 miles away from him, and saw him most weekends (full time job and small children as well) and bought him up to mine for holidays and Christmas. I was s till criticised when he died for not helping ....I really don't know how much more help I could have given ! I would either facebook this, or highlight it to the home Management (or company that runs it if it is not privately owned......( at best all you will get is an 'apology' or at worst nothing ...................and I really hope they don't present you with another months fees bill (a lot of them do !)...........If it is a group owned home, write to the Chief Executive as well ....probably not get a response, but it will help .....also the !QCC that shouold oversee the running of the home and Age UK for interest ! Hope everything goes well for you next week

Felice and Dragonfly Thinking of you both at this very sad time. ???????

felice and dragonfly46 So sorry to hear of your losses. Deepest condolences. for each of you.

I live in a retirement home, and find family contacts are the first and foremost thing on moving into one , relatives details are a number one priority.
But some organisation's can vary as to there services etc.
Mick

I'm sorry for your loss, Felice, and for yours, Dragonfly.

The lack of service and consideration by the unit manager is unacceptable, and you should report it in the hope that improvements will be made. And as for commenting on how often you visited, how thoughtless. When my MIL was in a care home, we attended a meeting called by the relatively new social manager. He said in front of everyone that he didn't recognise some people there, including us, so we obviously didn't visit often. When called out, he admitted he only worked till 5pm, as did we and many other relatives there. We lived locally and DH visited nearly every evening.