Feeling depressed

You have made a start posting on GN. Now step 2, see your doctor. Taking some action will give you the feeling of control over your situation. Be strong, but don't try to cope alone.

There is the "will it matter in a year" school of thought.
This defines the issues that really are worth worrying excessively about.
I find it helps.

Depression can get so bad that even the endless worry and thoughts go away and numbness sets in.
Do not let yourself get that bad because you will be beyond caring about how depressed you are and will be unable to get yourself help.

Keeping yourself in the loop with your family and having up to date information and regular chats with them could ease things a bit. Sometimes we imagine things differently/worse than they are. If things are very bad then at least you know the latest information .

Sometimes it is just fine to say you've had enough for now and spend a few days looking after yourself and recouping.
Come out stronger the other side ready to fight another day.

Travelsafar, you have not as much power over events as you imagine that you have. Your ruminations will not make the slightest bit of difference to what's going to happen.

I have had to learn this.

Do these thoughts pop into your head when you are alone at home? If so keep yourself busy. I've found negative and worrying thoughts take hold if I allow myself to dwell on things. they usually occur when I am showering in the morning. especially if I have not made firm plans for the day. It doesn't happen when I am busy.

With such much going on in your life, there are times when you need a blooming good cry just to release the tension. I too have my ‘black dog days’ - when everything seems to be looming over me like a tidal wave. I have learned to take a massive step back, let my family know I am down (but not out!), and go with my feelings.

We are only human - we are allowed a crying jag once in a while! Speaking for myself - it keeps me ‘sane’ (at least by my definition ).

Take care

I have started to tell my son how I feel. Hurt about things that happen. For years I have kept quiet. Feeling used. Taken for granted and nothing in return. I now realise he is not a mind reader and although it would have been nice if he treated me better of his own will. He has a life and I have been put way down the list. Don’t cry alone tell the people around you how you feel but without accusation. My son already is realising I have feelings too.

The fact that the nights are now cooler should help your sleep. It has mine!

It might sound glib but try a Scarlett O'Hara and 'think about it tomorrow'. Easier said than done, I know. But if there's nothing you can personally do to alter circumstances then it's pointless to fret.

It's good to know you feel a little better today - it sounds like you have an awful lot going on in your life which can feel totally overwhelming and unable to cope. My son is there at the moment and has had to be signed off work for a month - physical symptoms have started to manifest themselves due to the stress of trying to juggle so many balls. He's always had a tendency towards depression and has been on AD's for several years but this latest episode is very worrying - his doctor has told him he's already probably taken 5 years off his life with all this and if he doesn't stop he could keel over. I'm not sure that was a helpful thing to say to someone already suffering but it has make him take heed and leave work behind for a few weeks. He's also on a stronger anti depressant tablet for a while,

I hope things ease for you in the coming weeks - your family are probably just as worried about you too

You must get help. You must get your feelings, your insecurities. your worries into the open. I suggest you visit your GP who will point you in the right direction to those who will help you. You can't live like this.

You may have an underactive thyroid travels. It's worth getting it checked out. Good luck.

Travels - my GP once said to me you can worry a lot or a little about a situation, it will not affect the outcome. I have kept this in mind over the last few difficult years, and I just take one day at a time. I wish you well.

Glad you are feeling a bit better today.

I would like to make a few observations for anyone feeling depressed based upon what I have read above.

Those who fortunately have never been clinically depressed can suggest that you don't think about it or think about it at certain times but, for the clinically depressed, it is not possible to stop the bad thoughts coming into your head. If only it was.

Talking about it is good, if you have the right person to talk to, but it is not always possible to find that person. Some live in areas where the NHS has appropriate talking therapies but many of us live in areas where such therapy is not available or, if it is, there is a very long waiting list.

There really are no simple answers to this problem but, if it persists, it is important to talk to your GP and you may have to go back a few times before the GP is convinced you are not just having a short difficult time. It must be very hard for a GP to know how serious a problem someone has on just one visit.

travalsafar - without delay visit your GP and ask for counselling on the NHS - you should be eligible for anything between 6-12 weeks talking therapy with a skilled professional who will have heard it all before and help you to offload your worries and anxieties. You are coping with multiple concerns and probably just need to get everything in perspective - no need for any kind of medication, just some confidential talking with a good listener.

MawBroon, fabulous answer.

travelsafar this could be me talking for much of the past 7 years. The worst thing is lying awake at night achieving nothing but worrying and then feeling like s* the whole next day.
When I did CBT, one simple strategy we were taught was to make a list of small, easily picked-up things you can do when you are feeling low which you know help you feel a bit more looked-after. I did a lot of sewing at one stage which helped me feel I was being creative as well but in my CBT group we had really simple things on our lists like taking a bath, putting on scent, looking at flowers. Try to do something that makes you feel better every day.

That is so sad. I hope some of your issues get resilved soon. I think it's good to come on Gransnet and discuss them. It sort of unpacks them from your head.

Glad you are feeling better today travelsafar . I feel like this most of the time. Life is not easy, that's for sure.

I’d like to add, you are not a coward. Our feelings can overwhelm us at times but that does not mean we are weak or cowardly. Quite the opposite. ?

I’m glad to hear that you are feeling brighter today travelsafar. It’s good to be able to come on here for support and to offload ones feelings a bit. Lots of good advice already given to which I can’t really add anything different other than to keep on posting and agree that eventually, the light at the end of the tunnel appears! Take care. ?

and best wishes from me and glad you are feeling a bit better today.

Sending you my love travel x

travelsafar
I was in a right mess just before Christmas. I kept hanging on and eventually took the Citalapam option. I am feeling much better now.
If you feel really bad do not ignore it . Go to the doctor for help.
There seems to be something in our family genes that gets us . Me, my mum and my sister. My grandmother had this as well . There seems to be a family tendency to get into a really low mood every so often. All except my dad who was always positive.
Nothing really seriously depressed but leaving me very low in mood .
A top up of serotonin is basically what I take.
Taking citalopram this time the side effects were dreadful But I had got myself very low. I weathered it through and began to feel a lot better.

I would be I interested to know how my body chemistry works like this.

Glad to hear that you are feeling a bit brighter today.

I am sure I am stating the obvious when I say there is a huge diffference between depression caused by going through dreadful trials in one’s life when the system just says “Stop, I can take no more!” and the depression that rolls in like sudden fog without warning on a previously clear day and you find yourself grinding to a halt or weeping copiously while thinking “But I don’t know why I feel so depressed”.
It may be possible to address some of the root causes which grind us down or to alleviate their effect but the bottom line is supporting us to cope. Nobody should have to cope alone - others may not be able to take the problem away, but can help you to feel you are not alone in how you feel.
There is a place for counselling, for therapy, for offloading e.g.to Samaritans ( and no, you do not need to feel suicidal) and in some cases for medication, whether to help you sleep or reduce anxiety attacks.
Nobody expects you to cope unsupported after an injury, to walk without crutches after a broken leg, so nobody should need to face depression for whatever reason, unsupported.
Do please talk it through, possibly your GP is your first port of call, but Samaritans will not commit you to medication or indeed any course of action.
It does help to talk.