Feeling depressed

You may have an underactive thyroid travels. It's worth getting it checked out. Good luck.

You must get help. You must get your feelings, your insecurities. your worries into the open. I suggest you visit your GP who will point you in the right direction to those who will help you. You can't live like this.

It's good to know you feel a little better today - it sounds like you have an awful lot going on in your life which can feel totally overwhelming and unable to cope. My son is there at the moment and has had to be signed off work for a month - physical symptoms have started to manifest themselves due to the stress of trying to juggle so many balls. He's always had a tendency towards depression and has been on AD's for several years but this latest episode is very worrying - his doctor has told him he's already probably taken 5 years off his life with all this and if he doesn't stop he could keel over. I'm not sure that was a helpful thing to say to someone already suffering but it has make him take heed and leave work behind for a few weeks. He's also on a stronger anti depressant tablet for a while,

I hope things ease for you in the coming weeks - your family are probably just as worried about you too

It might sound glib but try a Scarlett O'Hara and 'think about it tomorrow'. Easier said than done, I know. But if there's nothing you can personally do to alter circumstances then it's pointless to fret.

The fact that the nights are now cooler should help your sleep. It has mine!

I have started to tell my son how I feel. Hurt about things that happen. For years I have kept quiet. Feeling used. Taken for granted and nothing in return. I now realise he is not a mind reader and although it would have been nice if he treated me better of his own will. He has a life and I have been put way down the list. Don’t cry alone tell the people around you how you feel but without accusation. My son already is realising I have feelings too.

With such much going on in your life, there are times when you need a blooming good cry just to release the tension. I too have my ‘black dog days’ - when everything seems to be looming over me like a tidal wave. I have learned to take a massive step back, let my family know I am down (but not out!), and go with my feelings.

We are only human - we are allowed a crying jag once in a while! Speaking for myself - it keeps me ‘sane’ (at least by my definition ).

Take care

Do these thoughts pop into your head when you are alone at home? If so keep yourself busy. I've found negative and worrying thoughts take hold if I allow myself to dwell on things. they usually occur when I am showering in the morning. especially if I have not made firm plans for the day. It doesn't happen when I am busy.

Travelsafar, you have not as much power over events as you imagine that you have. Your ruminations will not make the slightest bit of difference to what's going to happen.

I have had to learn this.

There is the "will it matter in a year" school of thought.
This defines the issues that really are worth worrying excessively about.
I find it helps.

Depression can get so bad that even the endless worry and thoughts go away and numbness sets in.
Do not let yourself get that bad because you will be beyond caring about how depressed you are and will be unable to get yourself help.

Keeping yourself in the loop with your family and having up to date information and regular chats with them could ease things a bit. Sometimes we imagine things differently/worse than they are. If things are very bad then at least you know the latest information .

Sometimes it is just fine to say you've had enough for now and spend a few days looking after yourself and recouping.
Come out stronger the other side ready to fight another day.

You have made a start posting on GN. Now step 2, see your doctor. Taking some action will give you the feeling of control over your situation. Be strong, but don't try to cope alone.

When I had a really bad few months I started meditating ,it really helped.I was ,like you,worrying myself sick about things I couldn't really change,Both my AC had cheating partners my son attempted suicide and my OH had a series of thankfully minor heart attacks ..all with a 4 month period.
The meditation in the mornings and at bed time helped me relax and focus my mind on something else.While I cant say the problems disappeared the way I handled them did .Maybe look for mindfulness tutoring online or some guided meditation.
If you have a yoga class locally I would suggest you try that too,its brilliant for calming your mind during stressful periods.I hope you find help , and peace, as worry is the devils work and I hope your families troubles diminish as s quickly as they appeared .

A good friend who had attended CBT was recommended to a free app called ‘Headspace’. She said it was wonderful. Perhaps worth a try? First 3 months are free then £5 a month if you find it beneficial.

Some good advice on here Travels and good that you’re feeling a bit better today. But even though that is the case don’t put off seeing your GP.
Life is difficult for me too just now so I’m going to look into getting that app Urmstongran, thank you.

You’re welcome Overthehills. I like sharing stuff with others. I hope you find it beneficial too.

My experience of depression is that it means you shut down all your feelings because they are too painful to bear. No feelings so no tears. Once I started to come out of it I was able to cry and it was a big relief. In my case anti-depressants were not the answer.

I had a strange experience, once only, when I was not sad about anything but tears suddenly started streaming down my cheeks - no sobbing, no out of breath or anything at all, just my eyes pouring water. As far as I remember I went to GPO in lunch hour (it was decades ago) and went back to work in the pm - can't remember what GP said or what happened afterwards.

When I read the top post my first thought was hormones and then maybe stress/exhaustion. GP is a good idea.

See a doctor.
Maw Broon (above) is right

A lot going on here recently as well which left me feeling overwhelmed and tearful most of the time. I knew it wasn't depression as been there done that etc etc. Anyway a friend suggested I try Kalms, an over the counter herbal remedy for stress and anxiety. Not a great believer in such things but decided to give it a try. What had I to lose? Two weeks on and I'm back to my usual self and have stopped taking the tablets. They worked for my friend and now for me. Maybe worth a try? Certainly calmed me down.

Glad you are feeling a bit better. I went through a horrendous period on my life and found drawing columns, headed up with the issue, how I felt about it and lastly what I could actually do about it. When I did this I realised there was very little I could do that would resolve any of the issues and that worrying about them certainly won't change that. This is a technique I was taught in CBT. Do hope you continue to feel more in control of your feelings.

I have been there more than once and nearly had a breakdown. Am i right in saying it happens to empathic individuals? I had a battle with my upbringing in that my parent didnt treat me well mentally and i was totally drained of myself. I now have met up with old school friends again, have a lovely daughter who understands and try to ‘meditate’ when bad thoughts start. Deal with it in your head then engage with something else. I crochet and weave so that is my saviour.

If it continues you may benefit from CBT/Therapy as it sounds as if you are developing social anxiety. It's understandable when you have alot going on. Maybe try a mindfulness course to help and talk with your Dr if it continues. Drs are used to this today so please don't be concerned about talking with medical about it. 65% Of GPS work is around these type of things

My motto at the moment is "take the easy route". I have spent a lifetime worrying and it has got me nowhere. I do sympathise with you as it is easier said than done to stop it.

Just standing stock still with your feet firmly planted on the ground helps. Just stand there and feel the earth under your feet. Say to yourself " just for now, breathing is enough" It helps to calm you down.

If it gets so bad you have harmful thoughts about yourself go and see your GP. If your GP is not sympathetic then see another doctor in the practice.

A hug from a fellow worrier !

I had a course of CBT a while ago and one thing my counsellor told me has stuck in my mind, though I still find it difficult to act on. He said that I should not think that I had to,or could,solve everyone’s problems. It’s true, of course, but very hard to live by.

Hi, I am glad you are feeling a bit better today, but if the dark clouds start gathering again, please ask your doctor for help. As others have said, if it was a physical problem you had, you would not think twice about asking for help, and we now know, it is as important to look after our mental health.

Only you will know if you are just having a 'down' sort of day or if it is something that is happening more without too much explanation. I have been on antidepressants for a long while, but have also done different courses on how to help ourselves to cope when the mind starts playing silly beggars with us. I have had 1-1 counselling which has also helped in different ways.

I am not sure I will ever be 'cured', but I do know different ways now to cope.

Take care

Dear travelsafar, firstly thank you for sharing your fears and feelings - I am sure many of us can empathise and take comfort and advice from the many supportive responses you have received. I really hope that they have given you some help and food for thought and action.
I have felt like you for months - I have 2 step children and 1 DS and 1 DD and 5 grand children. They all worry me for differing reasons but one thing I have always thought is only I have the power to change my perspective - reading some of the responses maybe I am being too independent & should ask for help.
A book that has helped me this year is Dawn French’s ‘Me You A diary’ - it doesn’t need to be started in January. She gives insightful thoughts at the beginning of each month which I have found useful. I also find it useful to simply write in it each day & then review each month to see how I’ve felt generally. As a result I do recognise high points in my life aswell as lows.
The other thing I’ve tried to do is improve my quality of sleep to eliminate waking up & then enduring endless night traumas or ‘catastrophising’ as she calls it.
I don’t know if I’ll succeed in all this - a visit to the GP and a CBT group sounds good but I’m trying - as Billybob says - one day at a time.