Feeling depressed

Sorry paper exercises to do

When we feel like this it can seem as if there is nothing to look forward to and everything is bad. Using writing every day does help and let's you look for some perspective. Keep a simple diary . You are allowed to write down negative things but you have to write down a positive one as well. Positives do not have to be big. They can be really small things like you have managed to complete a small task, you have got out of the house, you've eaten a favourite food, watched a tele programme you like, or talked on the phone to a friend. Try and tell yourself you only have to get through THIS day. People with low mood/depression don't have the capacity to see ahead or plan so little tiny steps at a time. Try and put some treats in place for yourself regularly, again they don't have to be complicated or cost a lot of money but it gives you something to aim for and anticipate. If you are worrying a lot as well as feeling down ask yourself" What is the worst case scenario and how realistic is it this will happen" what would you do , sometimes having a plan "in case" whilst realising it probably WONT happen helps us to calm down and keep going. Be really kind to yourself try and eat well, get as much sleep as possible and have fresh air for a bit every day, being inside looking at walls makes your thoughts worse. All this is simple CBT. There is a good website called Moodgym which you can look at things to help and download paper except isles to do . It used to be free but it is now a small yearly fee. Also MIND does classes and has a free drop in service for people with depression , see if there is one near you. Take care and good luck there can be light at the end of the tunnel

Feel for you Travels,it's hard when you have so much going on.I felt a lot like you lately,the latest being real concern for my grandsons health,everything seems so much worse at night.I found talking to Dh and putting things into perspective helps.Thinking of you and wishing you well.

I was depressed last year due to a series of life events, waking in the middle of the night, worrying, mind in a dark place, going round and round in circles, everything seemed pointless.

I am feeling much better now. What was helped has been counselling but also listening to Audible books during those long lonely dark hours during the night. It would take my mind off things, lift my mood and help me to sleep. The one I particularly enjoyed was Stephen Fry reading the complete works of Sherlock Holmes. It is very long but divided into lots of stories. It is wonderful.

I have that feeling again. I have a gp appointment for something else next week so i will discuss with her these feelings i keep getting. I'm now wondering if it is related to being tired and then everything overwhelms me,or whether the issues in my life that affect me truely are affecting me more than i admit too

Petersgirl/Travesafar- life is so precious, celebrate the good things, try not to let the worries bog you down, stay strong, people do care about you, even anonymous ones!

Goodness it looks dodgy to me.

There is nothing wrong with having the odd cry, it is a relief.
Reading your first post travelsafar I thought you sounded depressed. The fact that you later posted that you felt much better is good news, but only you know if that is your true outlook.
Many with depression put on a brave face to others.
Either way please consider talking to your doctor.
So sorry to read about your experiences quasidodo
Best wishes to you both.

Billybob4491 Good advice from your GP I need it right now so thanks for posting. I know it’s easier to read than do but a useful short ‘mantra’
Hope it also helps the original poster.

I cried every day for almost ten years, so I understand how you must be feeling. It was exhausting. I was in despair. I eventually spoke to my GP, and had some CBT sessions, but they didn't work for me. So my GP prescribed sertraline. It stopped me crying all the time, which allowed me to be calm and find my bearings and address my sadness. It probably saved my life.

Sort out in your head what you can change, and what you cant.

With the things you can change, find some sort of step by step plan to deal with them. (Not easy, but take baby steps, rather than try to deal with it all at once)

The things you can't change, then make a mental list of how to cope with them. Again not easy, but "lists" can help.

Just remember this, which I am probably misquoting:

"Lord, give me the courage to deal with the things I can change, the resilience to cope with the things I can't change, and the wisdom to know the difference"

Well, it's something like that.

Dear travelsafar, firstly thank you for sharing your fears and feelings - I am sure many of us can empathise and take comfort and advice from the many supportive responses you have received. I really hope that they have given you some help and food for thought and action.
I have felt like you for months - I have 2 step children and 1 DS and 1 DD and 5 grand children. They all worry me for differing reasons but one thing I have always thought is only I have the power to change my perspective - reading some of the responses maybe I am being too independent & should ask for help.
A book that has helped me this year is Dawn French’s ‘Me You A diary’ - it doesn’t need to be started in January. She gives insightful thoughts at the beginning of each month which I have found useful. I also find it useful to simply write in it each day & then review each month to see how I’ve felt generally. As a result I do recognise high points in my life aswell as lows.
The other thing I’ve tried to do is improve my quality of sleep to eliminate waking up & then enduring endless night traumas or ‘catastrophising’ as she calls it.
I don’t know if I’ll succeed in all this - a visit to the GP and a CBT group sounds good but I’m trying - as Billybob says - one day at a time.

Hi, I am glad you are feeling a bit better today, but if the dark clouds start gathering again, please ask your doctor for help. As others have said, if it was a physical problem you had, you would not think twice about asking for help, and we now know, it is as important to look after our mental health.

Only you will know if you are just having a 'down' sort of day or if it is something that is happening more without too much explanation. I have been on antidepressants for a long while, but have also done different courses on how to help ourselves to cope when the mind starts playing silly beggars with us. I have had 1-1 counselling which has also helped in different ways.

I am not sure I will ever be 'cured', but I do know different ways now to cope.

Take care

I had a course of CBT a while ago and one thing my counsellor told me has stuck in my mind, though I still find it difficult to act on. He said that I should not think that I had to,or could,solve everyone’s problems. It’s true, of course, but very hard to live by.

My motto at the moment is "take the easy route". I have spent a lifetime worrying and it has got me nowhere. I do sympathise with you as it is easier said than done to stop it.

Just standing stock still with your feet firmly planted on the ground helps. Just stand there and feel the earth under your feet. Say to yourself " just for now, breathing is enough" It helps to calm you down.

If it gets so bad you have harmful thoughts about yourself go and see your GP. If your GP is not sympathetic then see another doctor in the practice.

A hug from a fellow worrier !

If it continues you may benefit from CBT/Therapy as it sounds as if you are developing social anxiety. It's understandable when you have alot going on. Maybe try a mindfulness course to help and talk with your Dr if it continues. Drs are used to this today so please don't be concerned about talking with medical about it. 65% Of GPS work is around these type of things

I have been there more than once and nearly had a breakdown. Am i right in saying it happens to empathic individuals? I had a battle with my upbringing in that my parent didnt treat me well mentally and i was totally drained of myself. I now have met up with old school friends again, have a lovely daughter who understands and try to ‘meditate’ when bad thoughts start. Deal with it in your head then engage with something else. I crochet and weave so that is my saviour.

Glad you are feeling a bit better. I went through a horrendous period on my life and found drawing columns, headed up with the issue, how I felt about it and lastly what I could actually do about it. When I did this I realised there was very little I could do that would resolve any of the issues and that worrying about them certainly won't change that. This is a technique I was taught in CBT. Do hope you continue to feel more in control of your feelings.

A lot going on here recently as well which left me feeling overwhelmed and tearful most of the time. I knew it wasn't depression as been there done that etc etc. Anyway a friend suggested I try Kalms, an over the counter herbal remedy for stress and anxiety. Not a great believer in such things but decided to give it a try. What had I to lose? Two weeks on and I'm back to my usual self and have stopped taking the tablets. They worked for my friend and now for me. Maybe worth a try? Certainly calmed me down.

See a doctor.
Maw Broon (above) is right

My experience of depression is that it means you shut down all your feelings because they are too painful to bear. No feelings so no tears. Once I started to come out of it I was able to cry and it was a big relief. In my case anti-depressants were not the answer.

I had a strange experience, once only, when I was not sad about anything but tears suddenly started streaming down my cheeks - no sobbing, no out of breath or anything at all, just my eyes pouring water. As far as I remember I went to GPO in lunch hour (it was decades ago) and went back to work in the pm - can't remember what GP said or what happened afterwards.

When I read the top post my first thought was hormones and then maybe stress/exhaustion. GP is a good idea.

You’re welcome Overthehills. I like sharing stuff with others. I hope you find it beneficial too.

Some good advice on here Travels and good that you’re feeling a bit better today. But even though that is the case don’t put off seeing your GP.
Life is difficult for me too just now so I’m going to look into getting that app Urmstongran, thank you.

A good friend who had attended CBT was recommended to a free app called ‘Headspace’. She said it was wonderful. Perhaps worth a try? First 3 months are free then £5 a month if you find it beneficial.

When I had a really bad few months I started meditating ,it really helped.I was ,like you,worrying myself sick about things I couldn't really change,Both my AC had cheating partners my son attempted suicide and my OH had a series of thankfully minor heart attacks ..all with a 4 month period.
The meditation in the mornings and at bed time helped me relax and focus my mind on something else.While I cant say the problems disappeared the way I handled them did .Maybe look for mindfulness tutoring online or some guided meditation.
If you have a yoga class locally I would suggest you try that too,its brilliant for calming your mind during stressful periods.I hope you find help , and peace, as worry is the devils work and I hope your families troubles diminish as s quickly as they appeared .