Welcome to the new Argy Bar and cafe, abandon hope all ye who enter here.?

Hans me down, a suitor of Chewy's, has offered to help. However, I'm not really keen on second Hans goods.?

OK Marydoll, I'll try the currywurst. Will I need the IZAL?? ( or should that be the newspaper, if we're cutting costs?! ?)

Marydoll you seem to have an awful lot of Hans lately some might say too many. Are you using that plaster of paris to be making hans effigies? Is that why you're down in the cellar until the early hours? Pouring plaster of paris into hans molds and churning them out in various guises?

If you're going to eat the currywurst Mapleleaf, you'd better make sure you have the weekend copy of the Telegraph with you. The ordinary weekday edition "won't meet your needs" after one of Marydoll's curries.

Mapleleaf, you are going to need an awful lot of newspapers. ?

Hans up Chewy, guilty as charged. ?

Old sewing patterns work as well as Izal if anyone has them still, bit slippy but something to read if there a while

You will need a good pair of running shoes on to get there on time. Those white stilettos are not for that race.

⚒ well at last I can opn my mowf but I go no teef now ? . It's all your fault marydoll . ? The least you could do is offer to make me a set of dentures with your plaster of Paris,then I could eat something. In the mean time I've had to resort to slurping up some of your currywurst. Oooh I don't feel so good ? . Out the way mapleleaf, I need the ? urgently......oops too late

Doodle do not worry, we laid sufficient paper on the floor in case there was the odd accident and it is so easy to clear up. Please do not put the newspapers down the loo, the drains cannot tolerate the amount that has been flushed so there has been a back flow into the kitchen. Should be okay provided anybody cooking wears a pair of wellies. It will ruin the white stilettos.

I don't understand. Why is everyone picking on little old mem?
What have I done wrong.
Too many hash brownies causing hallucinations, methinks.

Oh yuk! What is that on my white sandals?

Oh do stop complaining Marydoll, you were saying only last week that you were looking for brown sandals! Now you've got them!

All you have to do is spray Fabreze on them and they will be as good as new.

Febreze? Are you sure? What good could it possibly do to have Fabreze spray on them? -- I thought that he was still in jail for "common assault of a police officer in the execution of his duty"-- Has he been released early for good behaviour? hard to believe, knowing Fabreze.

Fabreze? Is he here?
Fabreze and Izal are Jane10 ‘s male ( sort of) companions and helpers, however they escaped at some point and were last seen working behind the bar at the Admiral’s Hat, a dodgy place downtown.

Charleygirl says that Fabreeze is going to spray on Marydoll's shoes! She'll be livid!

Fabreze, that little toe rag! ?What mischief is he planning now? Where is he?
I haven't forgotten that " incident" with the Admiral's hat in the Admiral's Hat

He's going to spray on your new shoes MD! Charleygirl told him to!

Oh did she now!!!!
I noticed you said "spray on", rather than just "spray".
I noticed the rozzers left some of those scene of the crime overshoes, the last time they raided us. I'll put them on.

You may need to Marydoll. What with the doo doo that Doodle deposited and the spray that Febrese was encouraged to leave on your shoes; scene of crime overshoes would just about cover it! Are those the shoes that you bought on Bury market for 7/6 in 1968? Worn well, haven't they?

The shoes look odd now being a mottled brown colour. Will you not have to spread the liquid to make them look wearable and spray them to remove the stench or at least suffocate it.

Right! That’s it!!
Mops out girls, marigolds on and let’s get this place cleaned up, we open the doors to paying customers in two hours and this place had better be shipshape and Bristol fashion by then. Or else!

Sorry- no can do-have had an offer of a gorgeous cup of coffee with GNs from soop's kitchen. We meet monthly so au revoir for now.

Deserting a sinking ship Charley? ?

The least you can do is bring back a plate of poached sporran or whatever soop has cooked up for the kitcheners.Whatever they eat over there, boiled dirks?
Steamed bagpipes? How about some baked kilts, whatever they are they sound delicious.