Welcome to the new Argy Bar and cafe, abandon hope all ye who enter here.?

Glad that stool has my name on it Lemon.... well out of the way of all things cheerful and sympathetic! I can fume and grumble in peace.

NNWW is a humorous cocktail promoting double-entrendes. It always has a salty olive.

That’s the spirit ffin ! Just don’t imbibe too much of it, and remember the three steps down to the loos( Meno came a cropper there recently) mind you, she had been engaged in a drinking game with me earlier on I’m a big woman and can hold my booze, as she found out.

I love salty olives.?

Methinks our newcomer, Ffin protest too much! I bet you that after a few of our house speciality cocktails, she will loosen up and be winking at all and sundry. Ffin, sorry to hear about your hospital troubles, feel free to pop in any time for some R&R and support.
Don't you worry, we will rustle up one of our in-famous spells to sort that upstart young doctor.
Can you think of an excuse to get him into the Argy, we will do the rest.

PS. Does he look anything like Dr Kildare?

Or more like Doctor Killmore?

Ffin welcome. Spinach punch by any chance? There's a bit left and it's only been bubbling for a while so should be ok

ffin NO!!! Please do not touch the Spinach punch.? You may wish to feed it to your young Doctor but please do not try it yourself. Welcome by the way.

I need a bit of a sit. Came a right cropper outside. My broomstick short circuited and tipped me on my bum in the garbage bin outside. I am covered in bits of veg and old meat bits and ferret droppings and some something else......not sure what but it does pong a bit. I shall sit in the corner down wind in honour of our new guest. Don't want to put her off.?

By the way lemon your bosom is on fire!!?

Young doc looks as though she needs some special spinach soup! Certainly could do with something to keep her going; looks knackered poor thing.
Organising a PICC line for Mr Finn tonight. Perhaps she could inject some NNWW cocktail into him.

And by the way, I have important hospital duties, so if you think I’m going to get off my special stool in it’s filthy corner to do bar duties, think again! ?

Thanks for the welcome, but am still going to be royally pissed off ?

Doodle not just my bosoms on fire, I am totally on fire tonight and have a date later with the Captain, that hammock will have two sets of tootsies in it tomorrow morning
Mmmmm, love this bright green cocktail, am getting hints of spice, blackberries,menthol and something else.....toilet duck?

Spinach punch coming up with puréed ferret droppings as a Wednesday special, enjoy.

Haha, your sense of humour Meno ( you are joking aren’t you? Aren’t you?!)

Did somebody turn the lights down or am I losing my sight?

It's actually better if you drink this stuff in the dark Lemon, adds an exciting element and it is hallowe'en after all

Not sure how strong that hammock is lemon. The Captain and I had a bit of a thing the other night and it almost gave way. Don't go bouncing around too much or you might land face down on your pumpkins ? ?

Thanks for the warning Doodle ....I shall take great care,
My pumpkins are very sensitive.

Looks like there's been one hell of a party here tonight. Everyone's comatose!
Hi there ffin, hope you're feeling at home on your special stool in the filthy corner. I hope you haven't finished off Meno's Spinach Punch, it has quite an effect on the system.
I've had to do overtime down at the Sewage Works.
There was, what we call, a surge!!!!!!!?
They traced it back to the Argy!!!!
I'm saying nothing Doodle!
Ah well, I'll have a nice pint of Owd Barrel Scrapeings Bitter!

Thanks Doodle, you just sat in what was left over of my spinach punch. I put it outside because it was beginning to stink. Oh well fun while it lasted. What shall I make next?

Ooh buffy I hope you didn't tell them it was me. After all it was really meno's fault for making it.
meno I sat in it because I thought it might smooth my poor botty after my explosive experience on the toilet after drinking your Spinach purée. I think perhaps an ice pack might be needed instead.

I saw the lights on late so nipped in for a nightcap. Five punters are sprawled on the bar..one of them winking at me but he's so far gone he can't lift his head. Ah, I see some other fool has wandered in....hello ffin. I had a terrible experience in here on my first night involving a strange green slime and the most awful stench from the lavvy. Was told about the surge at the local sewage plant. I do hope this isn't going to be a regular feature. I am a one for a pristine loo. I'll probably join you down that end of the bar as I like a good moan.

I wore my skin right rubber dress tonight with my best fishnets as I heard the Captain was erm....a bit easy, and loose with his favours. Can't see him. Has someone bagged him? Tarts! I do like a man in uniform. I expect all the other trollops in here do too. None of em around.

I have helped myself to a Bacardi and cherry brandy cocktail, with a little Babycham chaser. Needed on such a cold night.

Sorry I missed the Halloween do. I was told there were some right frights in here. Then a bloke outside told me it was just like any other night given the patrons. How rude.

I had a busy Halloween. I opened the door to a bloke claiming to be Gloria Gaynor. First I was afraid, then I was petrified....

Go on, walk out the door, just turn around now, you're not welcome any more....
No one has a go at my spinach punch and gets away with it.

Oh no!

I tried to help, honest I did Menopaws" when SpinachGate was in danger of engulfing the Argy. If it hadn't been for my timely bog roll rolling, the loo would surely have overflowed or burst? Poor *Doodle was unaware of it's potent effect! I also purified the air afterwards. It was a timely intervention or we would surely have been condemned and shut down by the local authorities?

I am sure the wonderful spinach cocktail will be toned down by the addition of pureed ferret droppings. Sounds delicious. However, I am allergic to ferret droppings. And spinach. It was confirmed by my doctor this morning - honestly! Such awful bad luck.....

Hi all, How about this for a money making scheme??????
I bottled and labelled Meno's Spinach Cocktail and took some samples to the local Posh Spa as a detox potion. ????.
Their customers love it, They said it's better than a colonic. ??
They will take as much off our hands as we can make!!!!!!
Get going Meno and we'll all bottle and label.
Yay! We're going to be rich!!!!!
We can holiday in the Maldives. ?

Oi! Keep the noise down! I am sophorific from hospital air, the smell in the Argy is rank, and the less of Gloria Gaynor the better.
I’m in a mean mood, so it would be wise to give me and my stool a wide birth, unless you want a heated exchange. Rage is my go-to option right now, because it’s powerful, & gotta keep it going.

ffin Calm down dear! Here!
Have a nice pint of Poteen with a Bacardi Breezer chaser.
sophorific??? Is that something you need to visit the clinic with?