Having a baby very young.

gillybob I didn't have a baby until I was 27, but I sometimes pause and think about my late MIL who had her first baby at barely 19, and her third (my husband) the day after her 23rd birthday. She went on to have 3 more in the next 8 years. How she coped (her husband was hopeless) I will never know. I did observe how her 2 elder daughters were more like friends or sisters to her by the time she was in her 40s and they were in their 20s. She was a grandmother in her 40s.

Sometimes I feel sad that I won’t have as many years with my dd and dgc ( I was 34 when I had her and 64 when I first became a gm). But whatever situation we are in, there are pluses and minuses and we don’t know how it being different would have made it better or worse as so many other factors come into play and influence how it all turns out. So when I feel a bit sad at not being there at their weddings, for example, I concentrate on the joy we all have here and now.

I expect it was hard when you were so young but you are still young and can enjoy your growing grandchildren, continuing being an active part of their lives, as they grow up.
I was nearly 20 years older than you when i first had gc, they are still very young and as we age we are finding it harder to keep up physically when we look after them and it makes me a bit sad sometimes that i will not see them into mature adulthood.
So despite worries and sorrows that we all have, you will have this joy. I envy you and really wish i was a younger gran. I feel young in my head but my knee tells a different story.

Gillybob, I was also very young when I had my first child. I was 16, and suddenly did feel very isolated, my friends getting on with their lives and doing all the stuff young girls do. I sat at home, knitting, reading and drawing. I wasn’t allowed to knit for the baby, as my parents had ruled that ‘it’ be adopted. I could knit only for me, and my father bought the wool for me - my mother being so ashamed of my condition that she remained in the house.
As many Gransnetters know, my baby girl wasn’t adopted (another thread a couple of years ago around the time of Mothering Sunday). ‘M’ is now nearly 52, and with a daughter of her own who is now at Uni here in Scotland.
Like you, Gillybob, life at that time was very hard, but we got there, didn’t we! ❤️

The upside is that you have a very good chance of being part of your children's and their children's lives for a very long time. One of the regrets I hear from friends who are having their first grandchild at around 70 is that they are unlikely to see them grow up. It's swings and slides, what you miss at one end you can enjoy at the other.

I was in my last year of uni when I had my eldest daughter so just turned 21 and was studying for my finals in the maternity ward! I then had my other two 6 and 7 years later after my DH and I were a bit more sensibly established. It was hardly a shotgun wedding because we got married in our first year of uni after a 6 month romance? but I don’t think we would have done so if my parents hadn’t been so disapproving?
Looking back I was definately too young to be a parent at 21 I was an only child of only children and had gone straight from boarding school to university and had not much life experience to draw on? DH was no better he had been similarly educated and had lived at home although he did have two younger siblings? However I like to think we did a good job and they have all turned out well. I am now enjoying being a youngish grandma and feel that I will have lots of energy to devote to the tinies. The main downside of being a young grandma of course is that I will be at work for a good long time yet so can’t do as many others seem to in these fora and do daytime child care duties?

I was married at 18 and had my first baby when I was nearly 22. I suppose I did miss out on somethings, particularly as for many years we were very hard up, but I’ve made up for lost time. I went to uni when my children started school and went on to do a lot more studying. I had an interesting and varied career in education and in the last 25 years I’ve managed to do a lot of travelling. I also now manage to go to the theatre at least a couple of times a month. am also very happy that I will hopefully see my grand children grow up into adulthood. In the meantime I can enjoy their company and take them out. I didn’t plan to marry young. In fact I gave up a place at uni to stay in London with my husband but you never k ow when you will meet the person you are going to spend your life with. There were times when I was younger when I felt I was missing out but in the end I’ve achieved all I wanted to and done . I just did it all in a different order.

I was a older. Mum and so was my dd I do feel sad at times that I probably won't see GC grow into adults but feel blessed that I have seen them and am able to enjoy them , there are lots of people who don't even get to see their own children grow up .

I was 22 when I had my first and 38 when I had my last. Strangely all my dgc are 10 and under as my DD'S had children either young or old so they coincided, more or less.

I had my 1st at 21, 2nd at 23 and 3rd at 26. We didn’t have the opportunities to travel etc in those days and it was accepted that you would leave work and have babies so your career wasn’t that important ! Looking back, I am glad that I planned them all so young, plus all so close together. I resumed a career in my 30’s and now in my 60’s I travel everywhere and even take the grandkids with me when my friends can’t make it.... so no regrets on that score.

I became a Mum at 20, looking back it was hard as we had so little money and lived 100 of miles from family.
I learnt how to budget and plan meals and entertain a child on very little.
By 31 I had 3 children had moved home 5 times to different parts of the country.
My parents were not kind people but fortunately my inlaws were good and always supportive, I did sometimes feel hard done to but basically just got on with it!
I got involved with playgroup committees and school PTA groups and made friends.
Financially things got much better but my early training meant I was still careful.
I didn’t take on proper work until I was 36 and my youngest was at school.
Life took off then! I loved my late thirties and forties despite some health scares.
I was grateful that I had been able to spend all those years at home with our children and never felt I had missed out.
Now at 55 I am in our 11th home back in our home city and all 3 children are independent, happy and normal.
Our eldest daughter is mother to our treasured granddaughter and we love our life and family so much.
I am so grateful to have youth on my side still.
I love it that my daughter is older and more financially stable than I was as a new Mum yet I am aware she will be in her forties and standing at the primary school gates!

My first when I was 24, very young and silly then, two more and 36 years later....still very silly! Pride myself on my parenting but oh so very silly about me ?.

I was seventy when my two year old gs came into our lives.

Of course, dd neeeds help and support looking after him, and I do enjoy it, but I can only do it for a few hours at a time as I get very tired.
I sometimes wish she had him when much younger.
Also, won’t see him grow up either.

I had my first baby at 22 and last at 25, we had no money but we had each other.
I did not get a GC until I was 59 which meant I never had the stamina to run around as I would have liked.
My health does not allow me to do active things with GC but they are understanding and are happy to come and stay and we bake, watch films and play board games.

I had my first child at 19 and second at 22. Both children were into their 30s before marrying and having families themselves. Both are highly successful in their careers. I had another at 38 (second husband). I had a good career in between but all went down the pan when I had last one as husband no 2 didn’t want me to work. She has managed to become pregnant while doing her masters at 24. I can’t believe I had the maturity to raise children so young. Even 24 seems way too young to me now.

No, not at all. I had a great single life between 16 and 23 when I got married. Worked hard, partied and travelled in Europe. Had our first child at 24 and 4 more when I was 28, 32, 38 and 41. Did a degree then later a masters through the OU while at home with children.
H worked offshore so I pleased myself a lot of the time and enjoyed being 'at home'. I
All 5 are now married and I have 9 GC and 2 GGC.
Luckily, I'm fit and well but obviously not as capable of sprinting as in my youth however I have bags of confidence and a positive outlook which has come with age.
I would do it all again in exactly the same way...if I could. Je ne regrette rien.

I had my first at 26 and last at 34. Became a gran at 61. The other gran is much younger and fitter so I feel the girls prefer her though it’s me does the childminding as she works. My other sons partners mum is only in her 40s so I feel ancient when we meet up. If they have children I will definitely be an older gran.

I was 26 when my first daughter arrived and almost 30 when I had my second daughter. I am so grateful to have 4 grandchildren. All I wanted was to see them old enough to remember me. My youngest one is now 8 and brings so much joy, I haven't missed anything. Age is just a number. Memories last forever.

Yes we did get through it dudntvwe Marelli

I was “forced” ( well persuaded without a choice) to marry my baby’s father who was a complete waste of space and left me holding our baby just a few months after we married . I worked full time, lived in a grubby flat , my poor baby was taken to nursery at stupid o’clock every morning on the bus . I was desperately lonely as people my own age were out having fun. I regret every minute of that time when I should have been loving my baby . My sons sperm donor (father) went on to have many more children to several other women . My son was affected very badly in later years trying to get in contact with him and being let down time and time again. His father had quite a high ranking job in later years ( he was a complete fake) Anyway he died very suddenly very young and my poor son went to pieces for the loss of a father he never knew . He Wasn’t even acknowledged at the funeral. Too sad .

On the happy side . My son is now 38 and a proud father of 3 ( almost) perfect children of 12, 10 and 8 . If it hadn’t been for the bad times there would have been no grandchildren . How can I regret that ?

DS born when I was 17. (He'll be 50 this year.) Aftet this, life certainly didn't go the way I planned it, but to quote Edith Piaf, "je ne regrette rien". Thanks to my wonderful mum, DS and I were together, and we've both good lives. Later I met my lovely DH and we're still happy together after 36 years. What really brought things home to me is that DDiL (who was adopted) met her birth mum a few years ago. DH & I have met BM too, and we've become friends. BM was forced to give up her DD. She never had more children (neither have I - by choice) so the reunion has been very, very special. I feel so blessed by what I've had in my life, and so sad for her. BM has now become part of our family - there's always enough love to go round!

I had my first baby at 16. My mother refused to help me and the baby was adopted. My mother spent the next few years insiting I marry someone anyone as I was 'shop soiled'. I married someone at 19 didn't love him and had my second daughter at 21- she and her son are the joy of my life. I divorced at 25 and married lovely DH - we are still married nearly 40 years later - Mother hated him until she was terminally ill and he did a lot of the caring when she was bedridden. We had several miscarriages. My first daughter 'found me' when I was 50 and we get on very well. she has 3 lovely grown u children and her first grandchild on the way. Do I wish I had done it better. You bet!

Dudnt we ?

Didn’t we !

I was 20 when I had my first daughter another daughter 4yrs later and a son when I was 27 and we lived with my in laws in a shared house that was hard as my first husband was still tied to his parents but I got through it.
Both daughters had children early and I was a Nanny by 38 which was lovely, I’ve seen most of my GC into adulthood and we now have 9 GC and 3 Grt GC so hopefully as I’m 70 this year I will see more Grt Grands born in my future yrs . We go on holiday with a mixture of them all every year and make lovely memories for them all.

I'm with you, Gillybob.
Just look at our beautiful children and grandchildren, and realise that whatever we didn't do, we did achieve something amazing. (And yes, I and my family are as flawed as everyone else's with massive ups and downs)