Having a baby very young.

Hi all im new to this, i had my eldest daughter at 18 and became a grandmother at 35! And i love my grandchildren with all my heart and wouldnt change a thing about having my kids early as im 46 now and still able to do things with them. (bar my illness)

I had my first son at 17 and yes looking back did miss out on going out and having a different life. I have 3 sons and 4 grandchildren and now still working know it's the way life turns out. Make the most of whatever you do at whatever time of your life your at.!

My mum had me when she was 20 and had 5 kids by age 32, so I had no romantic illusions about babies. However, I struggled with infertility problems, so I had my boys when I was 34 and 37. My youngest was relieved that I was 50 after he left primary school! It's hard work being a mum whatever age you are! Luckily my mum and I have both had good marriages (unlike some friends and family).

I was a young single mum.
Now I'm a single parent all over again, so..
I'm a bit of a fish out of water.

Swings and roundabouts Gillybob...no real ideal time to have children. If you are young, you may feel you miss out on your own youth, if you are older you may find your friends have all got past being tied with children and enjoying their lives in a different way.

I think if you manage to maintain a loving relationship with the babies father, sharing the good times and the not so good, then having a baby very young is probably a positive thing. A very different picture for those of us left holding the baby while “daddy dearest” lived the life of Riley . I know I only had myself to blame and I “made my bed”.

I never missed out ,had two pregnancies,one neonatal death and one miscarriage before I was 23 and my surviving daughter at 24 .I went back to work early and took her with me,built up the businesses we started when we were 21.Still had nights out dancing with friends and nights out with my OH .Had friends from schooldays that we went on holiday with..not expensive holidays abroad .I'm not a sunworshipper so that never bothered me.I got time with my children and still had a life.My friends tell me that when I said a baby would have to fit into our life they laughed ...but its how it was.She was very important to us and we took her everywhere with us .houseparties ,nice restaurants etc .We didn't change much though she just slotted in ,as did her brother 10 years later .Both happy well adjusted adults and good parents now

I feel I was lucky! Although very young when I had my first baby,I had already been all over the world with my parents, and had been privileged to benefit from an excellent education and got to sit my degree finals despite having just had the bambina
I didn’t feel that I missed out with my babies,I still got to be at home with them when they were tiny and worked part time and completed my professional training, until they were at secondary school.
I love my job and feel lucky to have found something I really enjoy?
we couldn’t afford to travel when the children were little but we started up again as soon as finances permitted and still love it
My children have all become adults that I am immensely proud of and have produced my lovely little DGC who also make me proud
There are things I would change in my life but becoming a parent young is not one of them ?

Married at 27 first child my Daughter, at 28, my Son at 32, first Grandson when I was 56, my youngest Granddaughter when I was 61, I am very proud of my Grandchildren and hope I can see them all grow up and do well in life, and have health and happiness.

I had one child in my mid 20s,but my friends didn't have their children until their mid 30s.
Like you, I felt very lonely and isolated,and suffered serious post natal depression. My old friends drifted away as we had very little in common.Somehow over a number of years built a different friendship group but am nowhere near as open as I was then.

I married at 21 and had first child at 23. I did not think I missed out because it was what I wanted to do. I was lucky because I lived close to my parents and they babysat for us so we could go out occasionally. My sisters friend got pregnant at just 16 and had to leave her Grammar School and could not go on to University as her friends did. She was a single Mum and lived at home with her parents but her parents insisted she had to look after her own baby. She told my sister many years later she felt she missed out on going to University. At the time she was grateful her parents let her and baby live with and support them financially.

I had my eldest daughter when I was 20 and second one at 24. DD1 is now 50 , seems impossible. We are a happy family, both daughters with good husbands and children. I must have done something right even though I started young.

I have to say I felt very guilty and sorry for my mum when I announced I was pregnant so young. She had had a very troubled childhood being illegitimate in the 1920's even though her mother kept her and she was very much loved by all her siblings. It definitely affected her life and she must have been very disappointed her only child 'got herself into trouble'. She was 34 when I was born so not a young mum herself. Having said that they were wonderfully supportive and loved both their grandsons to bits who in turn thought the world of them and they were lucky to live long enough to be involved in their great granddaughters first few years. They also loved my husband like their own son so it turned out ok in the end.

I was 20 when I got married, 22 when DD1 was born and 26 when DD2 was born. The marriage lasted 17 years but looking back we were far too young.
When I had my first baby I felt very isolated and lonely. None of the things to do that there are these days.
DD1 had her three girls at 33, 35 and 39 and DD2 had her two girls at 29 and 38.
I was lucky enough to be able to stay at home with my girls, unlike a lot of mums today who have to go back to work to make ends meet.

I was 19,21, 37 and 38 when I had my 4 DC. ( last 2 in 2nd time around relationship) I went to uni when I was 24 and got my first teaching job when I was 30, so did manage a career. The most difficult period was having baby problems and teenage problems at the same time. Being a young mum was easier as I didn't know any different and just got on with it, as an older mum I was more anxious and aware of possible problems. Now got 4 lovely kids and 4 lovely GC and the youngest 2 have yet to start so could be more soon! No regrets.

I was 23 when I had my first and 39 when I had my last. I had far more energy with my first children but had learned so much about life by the time I had my last so my parenting ideas had changed enormously. My focus on what I thought was important was probably a kinder way than with my first child.

I had my son when I was 18 and my daughter three years later. I loved every minute of it and still do now they are both in their 50s.

First DD at 23, second at 26 and third two weeks after I was 30. We did have our own house but very few extras. I was a STAH Mum and then worked part time once the youngest was at senior school . Have never felt we missed out on anything and loved those years at home with my girls. DD1 was 24 when she had DGS 1 so I was a grandmother at 48.
DD3 had her little boy 2 years ago at the age of 32. By the time we were in our late 40s all the girls were grown and we were free to do our own thing.
My MIL had DH two weeks before she was 20. They married but always added a year to their anniversaries .

Well said Elegran I think my having a baby at 18 effected my entire life prospects . I was a relatively bright grammar school girl ( yes really) who threw away any chance of a “caring” career that I would have been very good at. No support from my babies father or anyone else. Just left to my own very limited resources . I was always “going to do something about it” but I never had either the time, support or money and then I woke up 56 ! How did that happen?

But the here and now is here and now, micmc47 and at the time these posters did miss out on a lot - the fun of being young, newly grown up and able to go out and enjoy themselves, and the education that would have given them more chance of tackling that bucket list without counting the pennies and counting the years until they could afford to travel and so on.

All that really matters is today, and the here and now. If you live your life on the basis of "carpe diem" - sieze the day - you need never worry about "missing out" on anything. Living in the present is what's important. Get stuck into that bucket list...

Not an excuse for getting pregnant at 18 by any means but I think I was brought up to think that I went to school, got a job, left home. No college , uni or whatever . My mother was very naive . Didn’t believe in sex education ( I was pulled out of the classes ... a whole other subject) because she thought it was wrong to teach children about sex .

I made my mum a grandma at 38 . She didn’t exactly embrace the idea . I became a grandma at 44 .

I have read this thread with fascination, as our family seem to consistently have our children relatively late. My grandmother was 27 when she had her first child, my mother was 31, I was 28 and DS was 35 (DDiL was 38).

I do not think coming late to grandparenthood has had any downsides. Although we were retired when DGC were born, as we live 200 miles away, rather negated that advantage and we are a healthy, long-living race. At 74, I was in the garden having a kickabout with 7 year old grandson this Easter so we can do all the things younger grandparents do and now DGC are both of school age, I find them far less tiring than smaller children.

As for great grand children...... well DF lived to be 92, healthy and well and living independently before succumbing to a short illness so lived long enough to see his great grand children. I hope to do the same myself.

I was 20 when I had my first child, exactly nine months after we got married, so no time wasted there!! My second was born four years later. My only grandchild was born to my DD when she was 36, and I was 61. He is now 11. I have been lucky enough to have been fit and energetic while he was growing up, but I can’t help wishing she had started earlier!