Social club committee.

* Nanawind* I am so sorry you have had this experience and I do empathise. Committee work particularly clubs and societies can be fraught with hazard even for the wary. I suppose the offer should have gone to the committee as a formal proposal ideally. Its a pity you have felt you needed to resign. Wont you reconsider? It sounds as though they need someone kind like you to counterbalance the more fiery elements of the committee?

So typical of Committee work, I was on a local Community Association one for ten years. Yes everything has to go to formal meeting/discussion to be approved by vote, and minuted, it's just not worth the hassle of trying to do things outside of the system.
We turned a failing place into a successful one, but there was always someone niggling or trying to cause upset - usually ones who wouldn't actually do any of the work.

It is not your Fault - it is the Chair's fault for not contacting everyone. He should go by a majority vote. You should not have resigned.

Maybe this will sort itself out - what was the point of resigning ? That was a wrong move.

That's such a shame, there's always someone to throw spanner in the works. Now everyone loses out. May be in a few days, when tempers have settled, down a meeting could be called to address the situation and suggestions could made as to how to raise the cash. Perhaps the one member who was left out has a bright suggestion.

Also. if Chair told you to go ahead, you did the right thing. You are brilliant and when I say you should not have resigned you should not have, because it was not your fault. You have only been a good influence and a mover and a shaker. Obviously the bloke causing all the trouble is the pain in the bum.

You should have said - Chair agreed it - job done, so the bloke sorted out his grievance with the Chairman.

I have experience of all this and it can be a minefield.

No advice just sympathy. It is infuriating but some people are more committed to bureaucracy and fearful and jealous and small minded they will block. It stops so many people from joining committees and we all know the rules were originally put in place to stop abuse but they can be used against positive gifts as well. Ggrrrrr from me too. It used to happen to me in a coop and it withers the soul. Some people would rather see things fail than any person succeed and instead of getting thanks you get abuse.

The member who objected may have been awkward but I would have been annoyed too if I had not been consulted. He may have had good reason to object but even if not, I can't see that complaining about not being consulted in unreasonable. It can feel very hurtful and you don't know if their is any history between the Chair and this member.
Having said that, it is clearly not you that is at fault and it is a shame that you felt it necessary to resign. Did they try to persuade you not too? It gave the chair a useful scapegoat but I he or she should apologise to you and ask you to go back. If not, it will depend on whether you will really miss it or not.

I should have checked that first. Sorry about the typos but I'm not going to correct them (I do know the difference between their and there!)

And then they wonder why nobody wants to be on committees!

Always found this with the PTA, the parents who were most critical of its achievements were the very ones who contributed nothing in terms of time or support.

Thanks for everyone's support, unfortunately I will not be going back the things said were unforgivable, 2 of the members insinuated that our whole family were going to be on the take or I was being too friendly with this business man/friend to be given a table for free. The chairman is horrified at all the accusations being thrown about. DH had to be restrained, our DS is on the warpath. 8 members have contacted me to offer support and also begged me not to resign. These 2 are being asked to stand down at the meeting on Wednesday. But even if I went back I would always feel as though questions would be asked about my suggestions.
Oh and me being too friendly with this business man who is at least 10 years younger than me, don't make me laugh any louder.

I honestly do not understand how one person's view can result I your resignation and the cancellation if the pool table. It could have been out on hold and the objection dealt with in a democratic way.
Committees deal with this type of problems every day as a matter of course.
Taking it personal and overreacting is not the best way to manage objectors. It must have left a very bad taste in the mouth for many members now.
Best Wishes
Joseph

Could it be that you, a new member, had achieved something they had been unable to do and therefore they were jealous and would do anything to discredit you? I have met people like this in the past, love the idea of being on a committee and feeling important without actually doing anything. Like others have said I don't think you have done anything wrong it was the Chairman's fault for not putting it to the whole committee.

Blooming heck Nanawind, I'd have resigned too. Awful and unnecessary things were said and, like you, I wouldn't feel I could continue in the role either. As marionk said, no wonder people don't want to be on a committee.

It was a very generous offer by your friend but to be honest, he wasn’t going to lose out was he? If he was getting half the takings each month he would probably recoup his money fairly quickly so I can’t see why people should start making insinuations about you. Although you sound as though you would be a valuable addition to any committee I think you’re probably better out of this one which seems to have some very unpleasant members.

If you join a committee this is what you get. Resigning isn't the answer , stay and fight for what you think is right.

The chairman and other members are supporting you, do you not trust them ?

Why do you think the club is on its last legs????

Idiots in charge!!

It is the same in every single organisation, NHS, Government, Clubs, PTA.............let them sink, as you have resigned it is no l onger your problem.

I'd have been hopping mad too, but you can never win in committees - you did the right thing in that you no longer have to take responsibility. Once you are on a committee it's almost impossible to get off again. My over-55s group has a committee of 5, one each from the various activities represented - all best mates - but we are almost certainly the 5 people on the whole estate who have more overall responsibilities than everyone else living here - 3 of us are carers, 2 over-80s, etc., all involved in a whole range of other activities.

All decisions ought to go through the chair and the committee for approval, end of story.

Oh Nanawind I am so sorry for your bad experience, but the Chairman had no right to agree to your suggestion without a minuted meeting, I’m sure your friend would have waited a few weeks with his generous offer.
I think that it’s the fact that you are a Newbie that has so upset the one member, some of these committee members don’t want to accept that a newcomer can come in and get things done, I’m sure if it had gone to Committee, they would have spent hours debating the issue, probably ending in that member being overridden on the vote and stomping off in a huff.
But, I think that new blood is always needed, with new ideas and different attitudes, it’s a shame that it all got personal and that you resigned.

I think you were right to resign as cancelling the offer rather than allowing it to be carefully considered by all the committee members is just childish behaviour and not in the spirit of effective teamwork.

Within a social committee, the money you raise and subsequently spend has to be properly accounted for. Therefore, it is imperative that every decision is taken within the remit of the club’s constitution and also properly minuted.

Once you had the offer, the next step would have been to wait until your next meeting to raise the matter or for the secretary to contact all the committee members (on behalf of the Chair) giving details of the proposal.

The pool table came with strings attached! You made an agreement to purchase an item in return for a share of the monthly takings. You don’t say here whether there was an agreed end date or a final balance.

When you are spending other people’s money, you really must ensure that you are doing everything by the book.

I don't think I would have agreed to this either. There are ramifications. There was no end date on the agreement. If in 10 years time you'd paid him back and the club was making loads of money he would still be getting half of it - and quite possibly even his estate after his death. And the club might have lost its charitable or non-profit status and ended up paying tax.

I'm so sorry to hear that he said unforgivable things. Do try to ignore him, he sounds as if he is not worth bothering about.

I am with all Zorro21's comments and others similar but do understand your choice to leave.

Maybe you could just go to a meeting and read a prepared script saying why you are leaving using the comments here to support you? I do not like this gossip about you and would like you to have an official last word which is minuted. With very best wishes.