Coroners Inquests

Getting angry is a natural part of grieving so why stifle it?

True wot , there are so many emotions experienced in grief, well there is for me, I accept not for everyone , I think it would help if I could share it with my husband. I do rant at him for not being with me at times , as if he had a choice , daft I know

wot I agree anger is part of grieving but I am not stifling it, I simply don't feel it. I would have to look for someone to be angry with so why should I do that? I don't feel guilt either, apparently survivor guilt is normal but I cannot think of anything I could have done to prevent his death. I could be angry at DiL but what would be the point?

I have to grieve in my own way, that is not the way anyone else might grieve. Months ago I accepted that nothing will bring him back so I cry and feel his loss so strongly but it is all I can do to keep on keeping on without anyone making me feel guilty because I am not grieving in the way they might think I should. It is not a competition, I am not comparing my loss with anyone else's, my grief is no worse nor no better than anyone else's.

I’m with you about anger Nonnie. I felt angry at no one in particular for a while - more ‘why him, why me’ but in the end it was hurting me more than helping. The coroner I dealt with gave me some verbal information that did make me very angry for a while and then I discovered it was wrong. I couldn’t do anything about it because it didn’t feature in the written record so it was a ‘he said’ situation. Even now, nearly 14 years on, I’m unbelievably sad and heart broken but I don’t feel any anger.

Thanks Mollie. Shame your experience of the Coroner was so poor, I think we had a really good one and the volunteer was lovely. I ended up giving her a hug when we left. We all have to cope in whatever way we can.