The secret to a long and happy marriage.

A policeman on a motorcycle pulls over a car.
‘What’s up?’ says the driver.
‘Your wife fell out the passenger door three miles back,’ says the policeman.
‘Thank goodness for that,’ says the driver. ‘I thought I’d gone deaf.’

The perfect marriage is two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other

These are great - making me laugh out loud! Always good.

Or a 6ft bed with two single duvets!

I think a man and a woman is the strongest socio economic unit that has been devised. And if they can get along at all , making lots of compromises, I think they are doing very well.
The only suggestion I have is to use a 5ft duvet on a 4ft 6 bed so you both have lots of cover.
Apart from that it's just luck.

Wife: "Do you think I've put on weight?"
Husband: "No, I think the living room has shrunk"

"Marriage is mostly shouting 'What? from other rooms"

It seems to work for us annsixty!

"I haven't spoken to my wife for seven years: I didn't like to interrupt her."
That is one of DH's jokes, the problem is that he always interrupts me.
He still hasn't learned, must be a slow learner.

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you needed was 2 hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.

These are funny!

I have a postcard above my desk at work from the original Bridget Jones film. It reads I must not sleep with my boss .

Every time a husband speaks to his wife he should remember that this conversation is being recorded for quality and training purposes

"I haven't spoken to my wife for seven years: I didn't like to interrupt her."

my other half tells people that We're a perfect team and she's the boss...not actually true but I was his boss when we met

Don’t wait for Mr Right, settle for Mr Wrong as long as he is rich and handsome.

I love all these, keep them coming.
A husbands place is in the wrong.

My man has perfected the Arthur Mullard response of "Yus my dear..." It makes me laugh when I am getting steamed up about something.

The minions have it right.

" A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers."

Hmm.

My DH says we have a perfect marriage, built on give and take. I give him grief and he takes it.

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married - and by then it was too late!" Oscar Wilde (I think)

Sorry, that post was about a ‘yes dear’

I would quite like one of those!?

Ha ha ha...chuckling at the replies so far!

MissAdventure, I love that!