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Moral dilemma

(81 Posts)
Luckygirl Wed 10-Jan-18 08:48:54

If your partner was entitled to un-means-tested disability benefits of a sum that is not inconsiderable and you were not struggling financially (but not rich! - just ticking happily along) would you apply for them, or would you feel that someone else was in more need?

lovebeigecardigans1955 Wed 10-Jan-18 14:17:41

As it's not means tested and is for a genuine disability I'd say jolly well take it. It could come in handy for any equipment needed which could be passed on to another person when it's no longer required. The illness may get worse and earning power will go down. When my DH was terminally ill my boss said, "Whatever you're offered, take it, you've earned it." Don't feel a sense of false pride.

kittylester Wed 10-Jan-18 14:28:31

Equipment should be available through SS.

I think neither Lucky nor her DH work.

Bagatelle Wed 10-Jan-18 14:47:05

And it's a 'yes' from me. My husband suffered a major stroke in 2015 and we are in a similar situation. As someone else pointed out, it is a gateway to other benefits such as a disabled person's railcard. Look out for concessions at theatres etc., many give complimentary tickets for carers but ask for evidence such as the Attendance Allowance letter. You can always make donations (gift-aided if you pay income tax) to the theatre or charity if you wish, or just go twice as often.

To save the NHS a bit, I buy over-the-counter medications that I could get free on prescription, but we hear so much about what the top NHS execs get that I'm not passing up something to which we have contributed throughout our working lives and are entitled.

paddyann Wed 10-Jan-18 14:47:51

take what you're offered ,they make people jump through so many hoops now before they get benefits they need and if you can get it without stressful assessments then take it.Given the climate of cuts you might not have it long anyway so squirrel it away for emergencies and dont feel guilty.So many benefits go unclaimed because people aren't told about them an dthey would make life so much better where they are needed

Legs55 Wed 10-Jan-18 15:07:24

Claim anything you or your DH are entitled to. I am on ESA (Income based) as I'm only 62 but have "limited work capacity", I also get PIP (been on DLA since 2006), this has now resulted in my being paid Carer's Allowance as no-one claims it for me. ESA means I get free Dental & Optician, haven't paid for Prescriptions since 2003 when I developed Epilepsy. I use my Allowances to pay for help when I need it. I do have my Civil Service Pension but this is subtracted from ESA (I get about £9 pw)hmm

When I have been unable to drive (thanks DVLA, medical reasons) I use the volunteer drivers who are contacted via my Doctor's Surgery, I couldn't afford Taxis to Hospital, they also take you to Surgery Appointments & Dentist.

kittylester Wed 10-Jan-18 15:15:26

Volunteer drivers will also take people to Lunch Clubs, Day Centres - in fact most places if there is a free driver and charge 45p (????) per mile. But you do need to prebook.

1974cookie Wed 10-Jan-18 17:44:40

I would claim it Luckygirl as your Partner is entitled to it. What you could do if you do not currently need the money, is to save it in a separate account for any emergencies i.e. any future adaptations to your home to make things easier for your Partner should their health deteriorate, or even respite care if there ever comes a time when it is needed. Worth thinking ahead just in case.

travelsafar Wed 10-Jan-18 18:05:07

I would claim it too. As others have said you can donate some to charities of your choice, save some for a rainy day and use the rest to make your lives easier in any way you can. If you have both worked and contributed over the years you are entitled to it. Dont feel guilty.smile

maryeliza54 Wed 10-Jan-18 18:24:10

You don’t have to either work or contribute to qualify for non means tested, non contributory benefits. You just have to qualify based on the needs arising from your disabilities. A young couple could have a baby with very severe disabilities and needs and no one would say they or the baby were not entitled to help would they because the couple hadn’t worked for long and the baby not at all.

Luckygirl Wed 10-Jan-18 18:24:21

I have just been filling in the form - that brought back memories of my social work career - how many of those darned things have I filled in!?

No wonder people give up on it!

Iam64 Wed 10-Jan-18 18:26:28

Exactly Lucky, no wonder people give up, there is the moral dilemma for many of us that combines with the difficulties presented but the forms to lead to a decision not to even try.

Luckygirl Wed 10-Jan-18 19:03:34

It will be ironic if he does not get it as I have never failed yet!

MissAdventure Wed 10-Jan-18 19:19:36

You'll know to appeal if you're turned down, luckygirl. I think they work on the premise that some don't, thus saving money.

Jalima1108 Wed 10-Jan-18 19:32:36

I'm glad that you are applying for it because it would not help anyone else if you refused it anyway - no-one will get extra because you refuse.

Paying for extra help even with jobs such as gardening, cleaning, can be very expensive and you may be very glad that you applied and (hopefully) got this benefit. It could free up some of your time so that you can have more time for your DH. You could put some on one side if you need to adapt your home, or for some respite care.

grannyqueenie Wed 10-Jan-18 23:41:37

I’m so glad you’re going ahead with it, lucky. In my book anything that can facilitate an easier and better quality of life for you automatically benefits your OH anyway. Just think about how much you’re saving the state by just doing what you do for him every day without even thinking anything of it.

Billybob4491 Thu 11-Jan-18 06:51:59

Lucky, when my hub became disabled we were encouraged to apply for AA, although financially we were stable. However we did, and now receive a monthly sum which we have found to be very useful. We had to have a stairlift installed which was rather expensive but very necessary. I was also urged to apply for CA, did, received a letter after 10 weeks waiting to say that because I receive a state pension (which I have paid into since I was 15 years of age, now in my 70s) I will not be awarded any allowance at all. I am now my hubs carer, must be saving the State a fortune. I also have a blue badge and a taxi card which enables us to travel at discounted cost. Bottom line is accept all the help that is offered, I wish you well.

kittylester Thu 11-Jan-18 07:06:36

CA is a 'replacement' benefit, intended to replace earnings lost when someone takes up a caring role.

NfkDumpling Thu 11-Jan-18 08:06:29

I wonder if enough people know to appeal, thus making a lot of extra work, has tipped the balance of the money saved by turning down everyone, except the really obvious, first time around. (If that makes sense!)

GracesGranMK2 Thu 11-Jan-18 09:01:22

It is still worth applying for CA even if your are receiving state pension as, if you are eligible, it may still benefit you although you cannot get Carer's Allowance per se. There are underlying entitlements. If you are on a low income it can increase any means-tested benefits you are currently getting or mean you become entitled to means-tested benefits for the first time (depending on your and any partner's income and capital). This is because having the 'underlying entitlement' to Carer's Allowance means that a Carer Addition will be included when working out whether you are entitled to means-tested benefits.

*https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/financial-support/help-with-benefits/other-pension-age-benefits

OldMeg Thu 11-Jan-18 09:04:48

I’m not in agreement with the ‘claim anything you can’ mind set, but having read all your posts on this thread I’d say go ahead and claim.

You’ve obviously thought about this carefully, and you’re not rich and this could make life a bit more comfortable for you both.

annsixty Thu 11-Jan-18 09:05:06

I was turned down the first time, I was told this is not unusual.
I didn't appeal, just applied again quite soon afterwards with no problem, just had a phone call asking for bank details.

kittylester Thu 11-Jan-18 09:10:24

AgeUk and CAB can help you fill in the form and it is advisable to use them though I'm sure Lucky knows enough about the buzz words to do her own.

GracesGranMK2 Thu 11-Jan-18 09:13:52

I don't think you should 'claim anything you can' either OldMeg but I do think you should use the system as it is designed. That is the only way systems change.

The system is certainly not all about giving money to those who don't need it. It also deprives people who need it of help. Not applying will not help those people. Anything that encourages a simpler, better system will help others who cannot get the help that, in the first instance, was intended for people in their situation.

Maggiemaybe Thu 11-Jan-18 09:44:03

I'm so glad you've decided to claim, Luckygirl. And please do not donate it to charity! This is yours and your DH's to put towards a few things that will make your life more comfortable. Taxis, help with the garden, little jobs you may have been putting off. Heating - yes, it's admirable to want to save the planet, but looking after your own health must come first! And if you don't have an immediate need, save it for when you do. This money is your entitlement. Fingers crossed the claim goes through smoothly.

Luckygirl Thu 11-Jan-18 09:50:19

Thank you everyone for your thoughts. If we get it, it will certainly help with using the heating more liberally - at 7 stone, the OH gets very cold indeed, which makes his tremor much worse. It can also go towards the rental of a "lifeline" so that when I go out I know he is safe. At the moment, I unlock all the doors, put a phone in his pocket and take my mobile with me - and I ring in at regular intervals to check he is OK.

I spoke to the PD nurse this morning and she endorses the application and is going to fill her bit in for us. She had no doubt that he qualifies.