I think I am going to embarrass my best friend

Maybe some of those presents are school plimsolls, or maybe an animal onesie.

Yes, same one BlueBelle. At the time thst one didn’t ring true either.

If it's true or if it's not, how very strange......

Definitely don't make an embarassing OTT gesture by giving her sackloads of stuff. As others have suggested, a few little items and then give her the occasional thing during year when you meet up. You HAVE to give in line with what other person can afford when you're dealing with adults. Or they just feel inferior, pressured to spend and a charity case- they don't revel in the gifts at all.

Really?.......................................

Luckygirl I think you are right. I hope so, or the poster has serious problems.
Mind you, this was done to me one year by my sister. She knew I had no money but she bought me a mountain of stuff and gave me a £200 gift card. She had asked me for a cruet set. I spent ages finding the nicest one I could afford and made some mince pies which I took. She bought herself a cruet set on Christmas Eve so mine were pointless and put the mince pies back in my bag so I found them when I got home - so people can behave like this. If you try to explain it to people, they just think you are ungrateful but it isn't about that. It is about being treated like a charity case. That was the last Christmas I spent with her.
I still think that you are right about the OP though - especially if she has form.

Equal the number of presents she gives you on Christmas day and keep the rest for 'just for you' gifts for whenever. Oh, I would love that gift at no special reason. It would mean a lot.

My best friend many years ago insisted on a £7 limit for birthday and christmas presents (she has similar financial circumstances to my own) and she enjoys hunting around for little things to make up a bag of gifts. Basically she loves shopping. I hate it and would much rather just spend more and get her one decent thing she can actually use - buy it online and pay for delivery. I sometimes wonder if I should just say to her, ok £7 is YOUR limit but I am gonna spend what I like on you (Actually don't tell her but I usually do spend a bit more and lie about the price - pretending I got it cheaper than I did)

Dear God, aren't you all so perfect! Every time I come on this site, I'm vilified by the majority. My posts are not 'a wind up' and I still have 2 dead cats - but the Carer who ran them over was sacked...not only me, but several others in this area complained at quite some length about her diabolical driving (unknown to me at the time; mine was just the complaint that broke the camel"s back). I read things on here of people being nice and helpful towards others, while others take the completely opposite view. I'm used to that in real life too. But I cannot see why every time I post, I'm called names and made out to be some kind of hoaxer! Incidentally, the presents I bought for my best friend, who also acts as my carer, are particularly personal to HER - I don't think anybody else would understand where they were coming from! The majority also cost well under a pound and are more like stocking fillers. Think 50p Milky bar, not a laptop. I'd love to give her everything under the sun, as she does so much for me, but can't afford it as I pay all the bills from my benefits. Yes, I get benefits! Another story to jump on, as you all did on another post earlier. Before you start again, most of my disabilities are visible and NOT imagined. FYI -km going to buy three stocking and fill them accordingly, then hand them over when I think the time is right. I've already paid for a table at 'Crisis at Christmas', which will hopefully benefit more people in the long run than gifts they wouldn't understand. Now you can all FO and mutter righteously among yourselves. I don't give a sh+t any longer; I know there are some genuine ones among you, but they are few and far between!

On MN this is called drip feeding and is much criticised with good reason

Basically if OP had been more upfront before asking for an opinion, it might have been more fruitful.
OP’s (over) reaction leaves me frankly
I still think making people cry is a dubious form of affection.

I’m a bit puzzled as to why people think this is a wind up. I pick things up during the year and often have a shock when I realise just how much I’ve got - sometimes I even duplicate things. One of my DD does exactly the same. OP has said she has decided to fill stockings and space them out, a good idea although as others have said I might be inclined to keep some back for a birthday gift.

I still can’t see why you need to give her a sackload of presents knowing you are going to upset her. Who does that!
Save a few for her birthday, one for new year, a few more for surprise gifts or celebrations during the year.

Thank you craftynan. Thank heaven someone else does the same thing I did! Are you all going to jump on her too? If so, craftynan, I am sorry. You don't deserve the same treatment as me.
And I have already mentioned that I am dividing the presents into three piles, to be handed over at other times (though I already do this!)

MIEPL....If you have already decided to fill "stockings" and not a "sackful"
and give the filled stockings at different times then why ask for advice in ťhe first place ?

Can you not see why others think
"it's a wind up ?"

Hope you have a Happy Christmas

maryeliza I haven't heard of that but I can see what you mean - is it posting an outrageous OP, waiting for all the reactions, getting upset at the reactions then explaining the situation in full which may put a different light on things?

MawBroon sensible post

Miepl I am sure you mean well, but if it will upset your friend then it's best not to do it. Spread it out as you have now said you will, or buy one decent present next year which you know she needs and will appreciate.

Spot on Jal ???. It also means that well meaning posters spend time and thought suggesting solutions which turn out to be inappropriate once the full facts ( or more facts) are known.

Mind you, I am guilty of posting after-thoughts, hence I often post three times in a row.

Depends on the size and significance of the ‘after thought’?

I should read every post before responding and post all in one go.

NY Resolution.

If we could edit our posts, even for just 10 minutes after posting, a lot of clumsy replies and after-posts could be avoided. Why doesn't this forum software get a bit of attention? While I'm at it, it would also be nice to get taken to the first new post rather than page 1.

I think you know what to do. Buying lots of things (even with love) and making someone cry doesn’t seem to fit so don’t do so so much of the first and avoid the second. A few small gifts would be fine.
To make your friend feel good, don’t be so impossible to buy for. Spend a little time thinking what you would like -Chocolate, special biscuits, new socks, books of a genre or by an author you like, though even they aren’t inexpensive now. Then she can feel special choosing something she knows you will like without it having been too prescriptive.

meipl I remember your sad post about your little cats

I think that you feel really grateful for the care shown on a daily basis by your lovely friend and you have almost on a daily basis bought her small thank you treats.

Now you have come to wrap them you have been surprised by the amount
I agree with (I think it was jane10) who suggested a monthly treat for your friend from your little stash would be a nice gesture.
Although anything with a sell by date would be better given at Xmas.

Happy Christmas to you both