Bench or Headstone

Monica Doesn't everyone need to like to sit down at a beauty spot? Once you get past "late middle age" it takes quite an effort to walk far enough, usually uphill, to see the famed view, and having to stand up while you admire it can mean that the admiration only lasts for five minutes before you have to retreat back to civilisation to recover. Herbert and Hilda and co hjad the right idea, and from the bench the view is not spoilt at all - the seat is all behind you, the view is in front.

I know exactly what you mean about benches, M0nica - last year we spent a few days near Bridlington (don't ask!) and there were what felt like miles and miles of these things along the coast.

Personally, I have decided that I don't want any sort of memorial. I would rather that my ashes were scattered in a favourite place, where any family who remember me might take a walk if and when it suits them, and pause for a moment to enjoy the solitude of that place that I loved and perhaps briefly remember me at the same time.
I scattered my dad's ashes in that same place only a few weeks ago, as it was a place he loved too, but was slightly nonplussed (sorry, can't think of exactly the right word, so that one will have to do) to spot a memorial bench very close by. I don't begrudge that person's nearest and dearest their right to remember their own loved-one in the way that felt right to them, but if many more were to appear, the place's magic would be totally lost!

I've told my family that I'd like a bench in the Botanical gardens near us. I love the place and really appreciate the benches already there as I limp round. Some families seem to decorate benches on special days.
Views not spoilt and lots of people glad of a seat.

I hate memorial benches

A couple of years ago we were staying in Whitby at a hotel on the headland opposite the abbey headland. There was a wide sward of grass that ran round the sea front properties. One evening we decided to have a walk there and far from a relaxed walk we had to thread between endless memorial benches. I started counting and when I got to 67 and realised I was only two thirds of the way round, I freaked out and made a dash for the hotel.

Endless benches in memory of Ron and Jean and Herbert and Hilda and Dorothy and Peter and Mike. None of them mean anything to me and when their families put all those benches there because, Ron, Hilda etc enjoyed the view they ruined it for everybody else.

Benches turn sublime views into suburban parks. A discrete bench on Beachy Head, Dover Cliffs and even Whitby headland. These are already so visited their mystery has gone, but, if you need to sit down at a beauty spot, take a folding chair and when you go home take it with you.

There was a photographer who went round photographing these dedicated benches with their lovely views - some of course had lost their original lovely views over time and overlooked a motorway or a Tescos now.

It made a very interesting exhibition, and made one contemplate the passage of time and how things change.

I think I would need several benches to take in all the views I love; but Garway Hill comes out on top. It is in S Herefordshire and has a 360 degree view from the top - and you can see Cardiff Bay on a good day.

My husband's bench is at Beamish Museum, which is where we used to go a lot, and still do.
We have even been known to ask people to move so we can sit on it.

Apart from that, we have half an acre of Woodland Trust woodland in his name, as well as various trees all over the place. There are benches there in other people's names that we can sit on, and look at his trees.
One of the Trust sites was voted as one of the best ten in the country for views and walks. We can vouch for that.

I bought a brick with my husband's name on for the new cancer centre at our hospital. Obviously more than the cost of an ordinary brick!

I think it's a good idea, and there are lots of other ideas for memorials too such buying a plaque which can contribute towards the running costs or restoration of somewhere you or a loved one liked to go.

Clevedon Pier is a good example of this but I can't open the link

On The Gribbin, above Solva Harbour in Pembrokeshire.