Bench or Headstone

I love reading the little stories also that are on the plaques. If I do sit on one of the benches it makes me think of the people who's fav spot it was and what it meant to them. I'm sure they would be pleased that others would sit on their benches and enjoy the view as they once did.
Going back to Whitby... Where I have been many times...you will find a bench in the memory of Sophie Lancaster... Whom I'm sure most of us will have heard of, she was the young Goth girl who dared to dress different, for that she was beaten to death and her boyfriend badly injured.

I don't mind a bench but I agree about the amount, where I work at a nursing home there are loads and although plenty of grounds to put them, there is a limit, I personally would prefer a tree

Halt and the lame what bloody century are you in MOnica using bloody language like that- your post is a patronising disabilist disgrace.and your ‘solution’ ’ is wrong on so many levels that I haven’t the time or energy to try and put you right. Just carry on enjoying your fit, mobile lifestyle and complaining about anything that spoils your views but makes life better for those who don’t have your good fortune.

I did allow for the halt and lame, I suggested that they take their seat with them. There are so many types of light portable seating available, some designed specially for people with mobility problems of every kind, which double as walking aids of all kinds so no one should find it impossible to visit somewhere for lack of seating.

I did say that a couple of benches in honey pot places was OK. If the sweep of grass at Whitby had had half a dozen benches scattered across its couple of hundreds yards it would have been fine, but a figure that was probably in excess of 100?

I quite like benches if they're appropriately placed, but here in south Devon there are places where they're too numerous and it all seems wrong.

The thing I hate is when the family decide to decorate the bench with flowers and cards on a particular date. This looks messy, particularly after a couple of days, and puts the bench out of bounds for people who might have wanted to sit on it, as they feel intrusive and embarrassed. If you want a public shrine, have a gravestone, but if you choose a bench, you have to let it go and allow it just to be a bench.

Our ancestors did these things so much better than we do now.
They still do in certain places watermeadow - some of the mausoleums that I have seen resemble small houses!

I love seeing dedicated benches and enjoy reading the plaques. I don't see anything morbid about them, what a wonderful way to remember a loved one!
Eglantine what a lovely idea.?

I would rather have a tree. But if I must choose one it will be a bench at Eglwysilian near Abertridwr,

I want a recycled Victorian stone angel, please, looking suitably grief-stricken and the whole of Grey’s Elergy inscribed in italics around my grave.
Our ancestors did these things so much better than we do now.

I like the brick idea Eglantine a tree is a good lasting memorial too. I would prefer a bench to a headstone every time. Please don't leave any plastic flowers in a shrine for me, I will haunt you !!

That’s benches btw, in case anyone thinks I perch on headstones.

I may be glad of a sit down now and then, but do find that so many in one place is a bit depressing.

There is a little love story spelled out by the benches here. The man's one says "where it all began", so I assume the couple met on the beach, and the other (his wife's) quotes some lyrics from 'the wonder of you'. I'm really pleased to be allowed a little window into their lives.

Same here, Jalima, on the odd occasion that I do sit on such a seat. Irrational maybe, but I can't help it!

Whenever I sit on a dedicated bench I say hello to whoever it is to and say thank you.
I'm sure local authorities would not allow too many in one place to make the slalom of benches as one person described.

and I will usually say 'Thank you Hilda, Howard or whoever for your bench'.

MamaCaz although I will sit on a bench placed in memory of someone, I try to never lean back against their name!!

I know that sounds odd but it does make me feel a bit uncomfortable.

My husband and I often have a day out in the Kent country side - taking lovely walks with our little dog. I have made it known that when the time comes I would like my ashes spread in that area (we live in London).

We scattered my father's ashes among trees on his beloved golf course. Then we placed a memorial bench just outside the clubhouse because my DF always complained about having no where to sit when changing his shoes before entering the building. We scattered my Uncle's ashes under an existing unmarked bench at his favourite spot with an extensive and beautiful view out over the estuary. My Mum is scattered on her favourite hill behind our house. These are all much nicer and more evocative places to visit than our recently vandalised local Graveyard.

Mama the family put it there to be used

Lucky old you MOnica that you are so fit and healthy that you don’t need to sit down to appreciate a view or that you could manage to carry a fold up chair with you along with your walking stick and bag. I agree with what Jal said about they wouldn’t be allowed if they spoilt the view. I haven’t got a favourite spot so I’m sure my family wouldn’t think of having one but I love the ones I find when I’m out and have a think about the people named on them and thank their families. I know you didn’t mean to be but your post expressed an unthinking disabilism as it was predicated upon everyone being fit and healthy if they were out for a walk. A few years ago a path was much improved to allow wheelchair/buggy/improved access for people with mobility problems on a local common - oh the fit and healthy people who complained about the ‘eyesore.’

It could just be me, but I don't feel comfortable sitting on a bench that is in memory of someone I don't know, and generally avoid doing it for fear of appearing disrespectful!

Presumably these nice spots with miles and miles of benches are not in AONB or else families wouldn't get permission to put them there.
So, the views may be pleasant but not outstanding, and perhaps these are places more easily reached by older people who may be grateful of a bench to sit on after a stroll.

I'd prefer my family to plant a tree in my memory.

I love the benches down at our seafront. They are kept in pristine condition, and are there because its a place a lot of people met, worked, fell in love, or spent their weekends. We had one put there for my mum. She absolutely loved the beach, and the waves, and we had spent many a happy day there for years. Somewhere to sit and look out at the sea, eat our sandwiches, and reflect on happier times.