The New Argy Bargy cafe, please pop in!?

There'd be more asses than we'd know what to do with! ?

I don't know about you Nanny, I'm sure I could find something to do with them.

? Marydoll

Thanks friends and to POGS ....not being very well, I don’t think I could cope with a stiff one at the moment( maybe later.)?

Marydoll Yesssssssssss...that's Willie Macsomethingorother. I'd know his bonnie bits at a wee glance. Don't tell me you've got him all to yerself!

May I enquire as to how you can identify Willie Macsomethingorother by his bonnie bits soop? Exactly how close to them have you been? #shockedtothecore

Chewbacca I came across the bonnie bits as I passed under his ladder, (he was washing the windows) and I happened to look up as a wee breeze lifted his kilt. The shock almost made me reach for my smelling salts. I can tell right now...I still go all dizzy whenever I think about the occasion.

I'm not convinced soop. I could have believed your story if I didnt know that you've been hanging around with Marydoll quite a bit lately. She has a bit of a rep as a good time girl you know. she's been going round and kissing asses lately. She hasn't led you from the path of sobriety and innocence, has she?

Chewy , jealous???
I would never dream of leading Soop astray. She encouraged ME
Anyway, I'm away for a lie down

You are all so worried about Willies bits you are not thinking about the full monty idea...so Soop, does Willie Whatthehellisthat have any kilted friends to join him and try and keep these ladies focussed on the idea?

Menopaws Willie's best buddy is Jock. He's a strapping lad. Dick and Harry are good sports. Mind you, as I'm a proper laydee, it's not in my place to raise the matter with them. Invite them in for a quiet happy hour. Good luck!

Excellent idea Soop! Thanks for the heads up. As Willie Dontpointthatatme is Chewys window cleaner perhaps she could ask him and his mates for a special evening at the Argy next weekend so we can all meet them and see their credentials . Chewy.?

OK, I've just had a word with Willie McWhatthehellisthat and he said he'd be delighted to attend. He's bringing his mate Jock Strap too. He plays the banjo whilst cleaning windows and he only has one arm, so is a very clever fella and he has offered to do a turn in the Argy. He's suggested we let him have a list of songs we'd like him to play so that he can practice.

That’s a great idea, revive our entertainment night! POGS does a good farting turn if you remember and could join in.
Marydoll on the spoons as well, and Meno has a novelty act involving beer bottles! Tell Wee Willie Whatsit to bring his friends next Saturday night?

Absolutely, I am keen to see Harry/Dick and anyone else who wants to hang out . I will get my beer bottles out of the cellar.

In readiness for the Argy Big Entertainment Night, I've trained Fanny to play 7 musical instruments at once. See if you think she's up to speed....

Well at least she does something instead of looking miserable

Come on Meno,be fair! If you looked like my Fanny, wouldnt you be miserable too?

I've just reread your description of Jock Strap and I am concerned about how he plays the banjo and if it's what I think, do you think we should sedate Marydoll?

Am curious now as to Jock’s act, sounds intriguing.?

Does it involve a sporran?

Sounds dangerous

Let's just say that any man who can climb a ladder, clean windows and play a banjo at the same time; with only one arm, must have some extra appendages that he can rely on.

And yes, we'll have to sedate Marydoll.

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