The New Argy Bargy cafe, please pop in!?

Thanks for my party people, had a great time and I can talk again, that poteen has magic powers. I've never seen a blue pussy before, oh actually yes I have, last winter when Marydoll was upended in a hedge after the Christmas party, that was a cold night.

Fanny loves that little coat you knitted for her lemon. Look how cosy she is.....

Oh Meno, good to hear from you. Are you feeling better?
It was a dye job gone wrong! Nothing to do with the cold, I'll have you all know!

Feel much better thanks and the throat infection diet means I lost 8 pounds in a week so I can now wear fishnets without my legs looking like tyre treads. I've no idea how I got home last night though

Cheers Lemon. Is it the fashion for hairless pussies then? Best I invest in some Immac if so.

I’ve fallen off my stool and woken up in Grace Brothers! I’m freeee!

Where you been Arty? Down the Drunken Sailor I'm guessing, welcome back

Oooh, who is the drunken sailor? Is he fit?

Hands off that jolly tar, Marydoll...you've more than your fair share of fit fellas. I may be able to introduce you to a kilt wearing Scot. He goes by the name of Willie Macsomethingorother. Last time we had a wee chat, he complained of a chilly breeze around the Trossachs! Well, I felt a blush coming on but managed to look suitably concerned. Haven't seen him since.

I’ve been in sunny Spain Meno. I’m back sporting an oversized sombrero and clutching my maracas. I bought a souvenir donkey but I had a heck of a job getting him on the plane. He only settled down once he spotted the drinks trolley. He can’t wait to visit the Argy, hope you have plenty of Sangria in!

What a lovely donkey Arty, does he have a name? We could use him in the bar for carrying the drunks *Marydoll* out at closing time.

The donkey is called Wonkey Chewbacca. He is very sociable but when he gets drunk he starts he-hawing really loudly. I think he and Marydoll will get on famously.

Have we become a petting zoo? Fannies ,pussies and now an ass? Whatever next

I think Fannie and The Associated make a wonderful couple. Anyone have any birds? Bluetits or Coal Tits perhaps ?

I've got a cockatoo

even better Meno. Bring it in.

I've seen a booby and a shag in the local pet shop, shall we build an aviary in the yard, I'm sure I could find a pair of great tits as well. We could charge for people to view the Argy Aviary, that would offset the cost of the poteen

Good idea, a petting zoo!

Meno you have generously passed on your ‘bug’ to me!
I need flowers, grapes, hot black currant squash ( with a slug of brandy ) and a large box of Kleenex. ???

I like the small zoo idea! What a lovely ass you have Arty I wish I had one like that.

Oh lemon I wouldn't do that to you for all the poteen in China , if you are bedridden I'll load up Artys wonkey ass and send him over to yours with supplies

Lemon Wonky is on his way over loaded with medication. Don’t be tempted to kiss my ass though, don’t want your germs!

I've got an Avery that is getting a bit full so more than happy to gift some to the Argy.

I could donate a Dickcissle and a Woodcock but if I send the Nutcracker and the White Throated Swallow be careful they don't turn on the poor old Thrush she gets very prickly and can give them a dose of their own medicine.

Poor old Lemon , have a stiff one on me that should cheer you up.

Oh Soop, you are so kind to think of me. Is the kilt wearing Scotsman a hulking big brute? I do like big, hulking men, as Big Jim, the Admiral and the Drunken Sailor will confirm.
There do seem to be a lot of asses about.

We could get them all together for a version of the Full Monty, now that would be a great Argy night!