Feeling ashamed

We forgive you Oldwoman70 there is only so much we can put with before we explode,maybe your rant at this tradesman will keep him on track for his future customers.

He must have seriously hacked you off. He has probably behaved like that to others so is used to being shouted at. At least you didn't swear at him too!

No need to stress over that oldwoman we all get driven to distraction at times, we are human. Sounds like he had it coming anyway.

I once gave a solicitor a thorough dressing down in front of his colleague and afterwards I had a good think about how I might have dealt with the situation differently and came to the conclusion that I would do the same again. There is nothing wrong with showing anger, but I guess your concern is that you shouted at the man. You've apologised for that, which is all you can do, so let it go.

Yes, let it go. How does it help to keep fretting about it? All anyone can do is apoogise for the way they handled something and then move forward. My guess is you will deal with similar issues differently in the future, so something positive as well.

I wouldn't worry about it too much, workmen who let you down like that make life very difficult. So you 'blew your top ' and then apologised for it. Bet he didn't apologise for his shoddy treatment of you though. Forget it and him! Have a lovely day!

It is so frustrating when treadespeople let you down. We are currently waiting for a man to come and put a new glass front in our new stove, as the last one fell out! He said he would come out with a new one but hasn't - this is the third time he has let us down, never mind the problem with the stove! I feel like shouting at him believe me!!!

Don't fret about it,*Oldwoman70*, you had reached the end of your tether and it sounds as if he warranted a telling off. You've apologised and can do no more, nor should you. Take care. ?

give yourself a pat on the back OP. Now move on sounds like you made lots of allowances. Hope you get someone who can do a decent job soon. How I wish we could have a proper national database of who to avoid andwho is really professional and capable. Too many out there treating oeople like fools.

My workman was paid more than a week ago a little in advance and he promised to do the job immediately. He hasn’t turned up nor has he returned my husbands 4 calls to him. I too feel like shouting as I’m so very disappointed. What’s going on when these folks don’t even communicate. I’m getting madder and madder - hold me down.

Anger is a healthy emotion it is the urge to reach out into the world and make things right.............you go girl.

When selecting a tradesperson their character is as important as price.

...seek value instead of false promises.

Good words Grampie but not easy to follow if you don’t know anyone personally and have to go by recommendations
I was fully recommended a tradesman he did a good job but whilst left in charge when I was at work I had a burglary I will never know if he was genuine and it was a coincidence or not

I wouldnt waste anytime feeling guilty Oldwoman70. Your tradesman wasnt behaving well and you told him. Thats fair. OK maybe it was a shame that you shouted, but at least it was an honest response. I have no doubt he has experienced worse. We need to stand up to people when we are older otherwise we risk being walked over. My neighbour who is 90 gets treated really quite badly by some tradespeople who seem to see her as easy game, to the extent that I now offer to go round when anyone is giving her a quote so I can make sure they know I am keeping an eye out.

Don’t fret about it, OW70. I doubt he has given it a second thought if he is the sort that can be late several times with impunity. You apologised for shouting, you have now ‘confessed’ to all us Gners, so find some peace . After all you were the one who was being let down.

Has made me feel a lot better reading about standing up for yourself. Not a trade person but a situation has arisen where I have been involved for many years as a voluntary helper. Last night a man who has taken over and seems to have a good opinion of himself was extremely rude to me. Normally I would not have said anything but this time I stood up for myself and told him that common courtesy was needed and he went off in a huff. I did feel bad for a while but in the light of day I know I have a lot more of experience than him, and I think I actually quite surprised him. I do think we need to stand up for ourselves sometimes.

I don’t blame you for losing your cool over this and I wouldn’t give it a second thought. We had a similar incident recently where we had engaged someone to service our gas fire. We agreed a time and date and then wasted the best part of a day waiting for him; and when DH finally got hold of him on the phone he said it was not worth his while coming all the way out to us just for a service. Good of him not to let us know that earlier. We were livid. These people exist to make other people’s lives difficult.

Remember it’s not healthy to bottle up our angst ! It’s just that some times it comes out louder than others !

I had someone here to do a job. He had very good reviews so I thought I'd give him a try. He hasn't done a good job and I had someone else out to confirm what was wrong and quoted £100 to redo this small job. I paid £100 in the first place so it's going to end up an expensive experience . This man was going to do other jobs but he never came back (thank goodness ) .So do I do a review on him and say what I feel ? He was such a nice man which seems to make it worse.

By the sounds of it I don’t imagine you would be the first nor the last he gets a roasting from

Please never pay upfront to a tradesman you should always pay on completion or on a large job in stages agreed in your written quotation. You also can have clauses added for delays, lateness and days not turned up, quality of works. Especially if you have to pass building control. Never agree to pay for materials upfront only if you order then and oversee delivery. You potentially could be handing over hundreds of pounds before you see any work completed. ALWAYS have and itemized written quotation and a contract over payment or schedule written up. Any good tradesman will expect this and should have no objection if you have suggested it.
If you have to speak to your tradesman about something and you loose your temper don't feel sorry unless you went overboard call back an apologise but then explain why and resolve. Basically you are paying for a service and that is exactly what you should get particularly if you are paying by the day!! Always expect to wait for quality, a builder who is established will have long waiting times. Sometimes if they are a new business or ana quiet point you will get a quick turn up date but dont be upset if you dont. Ask to see other work and also ask for references although be careful because they can be false. There are sites that have recommended builders on but ask about first.
I only know this because my husband used to be a builder and he always worked to strict guidelines like this. There are so many rogue builders out there just like there are so many good ones. Please don't get ripped off. It could cost you all your savings x

Izzywhizzy yes leave him a true review half the reviews you may have see could have been false or like you are thinking because he was a nice man! That's exactly how con men work. Personally although he wasn't brilliant you should offer him a chance to finish the job correctly. If he doesn't answer your calls or doesn't turn up as arranged then right the review. Remember other people like you will read it and employ him!

Chris107 Yes I agree with all you say but this wasn't a big building job - just a few odd and ends, something an established building company would not take on so I decided to use a local odd job man - big mistake. It is hard to find someone who is willing to come along and spend a few hours doing a few small jobs.

I don’t see why its wrong to shout! The British seem to have an obsession with keeping things batoned down! Anger is part of our repertoire of emotions and perfectly healthy as long as it’s with proportion! Shouting is fine and better than tight lipped tutting?