Insomniacs not so anonymous!

Such sad times for so many, it is no surprise so many of us have wakeful nights.
I hope all the troubles become easier as time passes, prayers are needed for many people.
I send my love and warmest wishes to all with problems and sadness in their lives.

It’s quarter to five, daughters, sons in law, little grandson, sisters in law -all asleep, wel, maybe not little DGS, and I am WIDE AWAKE.
Did I love him enough, did I show it, was I impatient, was I grumpy, did he know it, did he suffer in those awful hours yesterday, was he truly peaceful and painfree at the end, did he know we were there, did he feel my kiss, hear my “au revoir”, feel safe in our arms before the arms of his Lord reached out to him?
Will I ever know?
Having lost my “other half” my “better half” the father of my children, my love and companion of 51 years, without whom I feel incomplete, how do I cope, do him justice, honour his life and memory, live up to his principles?

You just trust and believe that ,yes, he did know, he knew you loved him, he knew you were there with him as he slipped from this life and his love and the love of your family will sustain you in the dark days ahead.
Your GN family ,little though we can do physically, will be with you every step of the way.

Fifty-one years of marriage! Of course he would know you were there; it would give him comfort and he would feel safe and loved. I hope your family is awake now and you are with them and giving each other support in your grief.

Dear Maw, you will cope by continuing being the woman he has loved for all those years. this is how you honour his memory and after all those years together you must have shared principles . Cry Maw, and be the woman he loved still x

Maw of course he knew - in 51 years who doesn't get impatient and grumpy - you wouldn't be human if you didn't but you were with him through it all right to the end and that says everything. Take the time to look after yourself and grieve with your family x

I am so sorry for your loss"maw* I will light a candle for Paw and keep you both in my thoughts.

Maw I am so very very sad to hear of your loss, please accept my sincere condolences. I’m sure he knew he was loved and cherished. He would have been comforted by your love and devotion. You and your family are in my thoughts.

3.45am, mug tea, glad no one around if it means all are sleeping.

Can't get Blakes 'Endless Nights' out of my thoughts again

Hello annie and anyone else awake. Hope you aren’t too uncomfortable. Flipping windy here, woke me and now I can’t get back to sleep. Envy you your mug of tea annie, I don’t dare as our kettle beeps oh so loudly and will wake Mr C if I use it. The perils of living in a bungalow. Have slept well the last two nights, so shouldn’t complain. Will get the headphones out and listen to some music. Try to rest if you can, I sort of hope you don’t see this.

I'm here corner but not been awake long.
I have things going round and round in my head, feeling really sleepy but as soon as I put the light out, "ping" wide awake again.
Kindest thoughts to you as ever Annie.

I know those thoughts, anne, been having a few of my own. Some family issues about that I can’t fix, but how I wish I could. It’s blowing a gale here, it tends to be a windy place but this is something else, it’s not helping. I’m volunteering today, could do with more sleep. Oh well, this too will pass as the quotation goes. Hope you can get around the thoughts and back to,sleep.

Can’t keep away.
Not tossing and turning but you know when you wake up and for a split second you can’t remember why you have this huge sadness, then it washes over you and you’re back with the waves threatening to rise over your head.
Oh Anniebach you and the others have faced so much, plumbed such depths of despair and somehow kept going but that feeling just doesn’t go away especially in the long dark hours. For many the nightmare is still going on too.

mawb, my troubling thoughts are minor in comparison. You also keep going. Wish I could offer more than love and hugs to you all.

Be kind to yourself MAW and take care.
Didn't want to read and not comment. ? x

I have only just read of your loss, Maw. Sending love and support to you. May your DH rest in peace and rise in glory.

My thoughts with you Annie and Maw. What a long night it's been. Getting up to make tea now.

Good morning Maw Annie and all the rest of us going through sleepless nights and difficult days.

It really hit home Maw when you said about the split second on waking before you realise what is causing such sadness,

My DS is going through a terrible time with my DinL who is emotionally blackmailing him. I have never known him so down and I am worried sick. My DH has gone to stay with him and our young GSs for a few days to support him whilst she is away. When anyone is cruel to our children, whatever age they are, we mums and dads become very protective.

My sister who is on holiday with me keeps saying, tell everyone you are fine and smile more, well I have nothing to smile about and I am not fine. ?

I do however realise that others on here who have lost their love ones and they are surviving. Thank you for listening to me I am just having a bad morning and it’s only 7.30 !

NanKate, age is just a number, love isn't measured in years , your son is the father of your grandchildren, he is also the teenager who struggled through exams, the child who charged not walked up the stairs and thought all doors in the house could only close if they banged, the little one we held the hand of when taking first steps, the miracle we gave birth to. This is the love that wants to protect , it has no limits . My love x

Thank you so much Annie for your kind and wise words, they mean a lot to me.

Beautiful words Annie and so true x

This morning I went into church whilst it was quiet and peaceful. I lit 3 candles one for my DS and DGS, another for Annie's daughter and another for Maw's husband. I asked that Annie Maw and myself could find some peace of mind. Life will calm down the question is when.

I have found the support on GN invaluable

2.40am, mug tea, still Blake when I wake in the Night.

Every night and every morn
Some to misery are born
Every morn and every night
Some are born to sweet delight
Some are born to sweet delight
Some are born to endless night

4.23 am given up on sleep and I too have a hot cuppa and I must admit a rich tea biscuit. Hope you got back to sleep Annie

Will watch the Remembrance Service on telly instead of walking to the one in our town today, as I will be too zonked to go out I expect.