'Unspoken' forum rules?

Blimey Phoenix what an awful thing to happen must be some sick bugger to do that
I don’t have any problem with opposing views or even sharp comments I can stand my ground on that it was the cliquiness that got to me, the feelings that I didn’t belong and wasn’t wanted to break into the established old timers ....however I haven’t noticed it nearly so much of late it breaks through occasionally but not to the extent it used to
I used to feel every thread I spoke on brought a big silence but then others told me that was normal and people even said they brought threads to a big halt so I felt it wasn’t me then
So to any new posters, stick with it you do belong, you are always heard by most on here, and you are welcome ?

Annie Is that called bullying?

I have been posting since goodness how long, but I have definately been on a GN journey. As most will know I have a huge interest in politics and have largely posted on those threads. I enjoy the cut and thrust of debate. What I find has happened to me over the years is that I have had to get used to the abrasive, sometimes personal comments, which I think now is something I deal with to my satisfaction, by trying (not always successfully) to avoid personal argument and keep the debate focused on the subject.

Because I am such a debater (is there such a word?) I avoid some threads which I wouldn’t actually mind taking part as I think the posters would see me as too bolshy which in real life I am so not, having never had an argument with any of my friends ever. In fact I have always been known as a team player and very sensitive, much to the amazement to some on here no doubt.
So it seems that social media does allow you to behave very differently to your character in real life. Strange isn’t it?

phoenix I have been around long enough to remember that incident and could not believe that anybody would be quite so vicious. I also remember that GNHQ were extremely helpful. I am assuming that you did not receive any PMs from this lovely person? Totally unbelievable.

I meet up monthly for coffee with some GNs who live locally and we get along so well. Not everybody is nasty, sharp or vicious.

I also send emails to two GNs who live at the other end of the country and we get along very well also. One is still working but the other, like myself has retired.

I haven't worked out the cliques yet but wish to thank the Argy Bargy for its welcome into what I thought was probably a clique (but isn't). I admit I find the thought of entering Soops kitchen formidable. Not brave enough for that yet!
Nobody's been nasty to me yet but I have sussed out that some can be sharp if their beliefs are challenged. I try to be the same as I would be if I was meeting someone face to face. Which is usually quite wimpish......

Eglantine you will be welcomed with open arms into soop's kitchen. Those of us who dip in and out have a sense of humour and there is never any nastiness.

Wow Phoenix, but how did they know who you were?

Phoenix what an awful thing to happen and what kind of spiteful person would do such a thing. Hope whoever it was has now left GN.

Oh heck Marydoll, hope you took my post as intended. No offence meant, just my sense of humour. It could start a row in an empty house.

Depends kitty, I suppose if one agrees with a poster being told to get off a thread it isn't bullying,if one would never be that ill mannered and say it then yes

I am a regular poster and have been almost since GN started but I cannot say I notice much cliqueishness. Nor have I noticed any unspoken rules governing new posters. Indeed it is really difficult problems that often bring new posters and generally they are given a kind and sympathetic hearing and much good advice.

If you read GN regularly, you get to know which people share similar views and I must admit, on some topics if I see certain people posting I just go elsewhere. And that, of course is the point. You do not have to post on any subject and if the thread has been reduced to in jokes between three or four people - and this does happen on occasion, or is a political discussion reiterating the same old same old, move on. There is plenty of choice.

So glad you came to the Argy Eglantine! It's not cliquey at all, we just talk rubbish and take the mickey out of each other and have a bit of fun.

When I first joined, I made the mistake of going onto a News & Politics thread and got quite a bashing. My fault, I suppose, because I hadn't realised that GN had a strong left leaning contingency on those forums. It was the kindness of a couple of other posters who sent me a pm that encouraged me to stay, and I'm glad I did now. I've made 2 or 3 good friends here that I would love to meet up with irl at some point. The one thing that I do find irksome is when one poster seems to stalk another and can report, chapter and verse, what that person has said/done from years back (even before they've joined GN). I find that really creepy, more so in view of what phoenix has said happened to her. Online forums can be places of friendship, solace and fun but it can also be a more sinister place sometimes.

Could we just have one 'golden rule' ? Be kind.

I remember roses pleading for that Imperfect on one of the News & Politics thread. I think it lasted for about 5 minutes!

Oh Marydoll I am sorry to read that you have been ill. I feel as if I know you a little bit because of our efforts on the "Games" threads, which are always good fun.
I hope you are now on the mend from any ill health issues? And we continue to 'meet' on our favourite threads (I steer clear of any which have people on who are likely to get stroppy - that's definitely not for me!)
Take care x

Yes, l know it is whistling in the wind really *Chewbacca. Can't help hoping tho ...

So what do we define as-be kind, someone who is so broken hearted about the poor children in Aleppo, that it ends up in their removal, or someone accusing a poster of bullying.
Each to their own, I suppose.

The reason 'the other side' do not post on the politic threads is quite simple, they have been driven off by the far left posters, not all but most far left posters

I think you may be right Anniebach but I also think that that group are DEEPLY committed to 'the cause' in a way that (perhaps) others aren't?

My feeling is that as 'opposition' (because it's about politics ) I won't be hounded off and I go back but know I am completely outnumbered and merely a voice in the wilderness over there. The politics board should really be renamed "Left Wing Views" because the regular posters of that persuasion hold court and gather like vultures to peck at posters with thoughts not in keeping with theirs. I jbow what to expect if I post.

Oh no...vultures pecking and bees swarming!!!! I must moderate my language!

Having said that, this thread is about all Gransnet forums so perhaps there is domination of other forums too? I don't frequent that many so I have no idea. I like to think that some conflict and difference of opinion is healthy and makes for interesting debate. Others might see it as combative. I suppose our natures determine how we see the postings of others.

Hmm it’s rather intellectually challenging sometimes, and I’d say it’s a bit scary here! But I like it.
Phoenix, that is an awful thing to have occurred.

When I first joined, I made a thread about the fact that my mum had just died, and I had the most lovely response.
The thread was really touching, with lots of people talking about their own mothers. I was so grateful, as I have been for the support I have received here with other issues
I've had a few 'snippy' comments occasionally, but I tell myself it says more about that person then me. I chose not to respond, because I need somewhere to vent, have a chat, ask for advice, and so on.

Than me! Than me! Not 'then'.. how annoying!

I've been on GN for quite a number of years and one thing which mystifies me is this business of name changing. How does it work and how come some posters seem to know which new name is an old member in disguise?

Day 6 - I was interested in your post particularly the first half, and it is good to know what people like yourself think.

I see the politics thread as a good mental workout, that and as you identify I feel very committed. In my case to fairness and greater equality. I think I would like to thought of a knightess rather than a vulture -so I will meet you in the jousting yard with shiny armour and a strong steed.

Maybe some do want GN to be run a certain way... but i think the minor scrapes and skirmishes add to debates. If someone is nasty beyond the cause then the best idea, as a newbie like me, is to ignore them, perhaps they have had a bad day/life. I have posted a few times and have received some amazing support and advice.. not that I have dared to tread into a political debate, mainly as i am not interested or even know what they are talking about!

phoenix I remember your very unpleasant experience and was flabbergasted as still in my innocent new to social media stage. Nothing would surprise me these days.