'Unspoken' forum rules?

After how long is one not considered a newbie? Been on here for about two and a half years so suppose I am a middley. (Was going to describe myself as an inbetweeny but in the current climate that could be totally misconstrued). Occasionally get the impression some of the longer serving members talk over the top of my head but I just carry on. That happens in RL too with groups of people. Nice to see many newer members just diving straight in and getting on with it, the site is for everyone. Do not like it when newbies leap straight in and want to change things to suit themselves. Get fed up with caustic comments from some oldies who see some threads coming around for the umpteenth time. Tough, it's new to the newbies.

Hello Alima
I was almost always 'the new girl' at school because of the number of moves we had as a family. One of the things I learned was to appear calm and at ease when I felt anything but. Not sure how relevant that is to the discussion about newbies on gransnet other than that it's made me reflect on how easy it is for established groups to make a new person feel even more ill at ease.

Good morning Iam.

I have been here from the beginning, I have killed off more threads than I have started and been told off by those who are way more intelligent than me but I am still here.

?

harrigran (smile) ?

Me too Iam. Was never in any school for very long, and always felt an outsider, but learned to jump straight in and get down to the basics. Some people (understandably) don't like this.
Bit thick but what is the significance of stopping threads dead? Does it mean no one will reply because they don't know/like you?

"if someone is being actively 'disrespectful' or 'unkind' to someone who evidently may be in distress / in need," (Imperfect 08.47)

I have never, ever, seen that happen on Gransnet! Would be disgraceful. It just doesn't happen.

I've seen plenty of uncalled for, scathing comments. To my mind, it is unkind.

To someone in distress? Someone seeking help and advice? Don't believe it.

GN is just not that bad. To suggest that is over-egging the sandwich/piece of toast/whatever.

Oh dear, I have been "weighing in" like billyoh. Nobody told me I couldn't until now.

Weigh away eglatine

Is that your favourite rose by the way? It is mine.

No! Is there a rose called Billyoh! I must have it. It would so be my rose

Its my take on what I have seen. Yours is your own.

Now we will be told off for digressing. And I've been grumpy on another thread. No end to my transgressions this morning. I need coffee.....

If there isn't a Billy-Oh rose, there should be.

"Quite overcanopied with luscious woodbine
With sweet musk-roses and with eglantine.
There sleeps Titania sometime of the night....
And there the snake throws her enamell'd skin,
Weed wide enough to wrap a fairy in."

Eglantine and woodbine not names you hear these days.

Oh , I see, Eglantine not Billyoh.

It's a very grimy street in Wandsworth actually........

Billyoh is the name of a garden bench.
You could put an arch over it and grow eglantine and woodbine over it.

On occasions there have been a handful of members who wander over to the "cut off" thread to add their ten cents worth to regular posters there, sometimes suggesting where they may have gone wrong to be in such a situation. Personally, I wouldn't, who knows how any of us would behave if we were put in that position. Families can be complex and no two are the same. Clearly there is a lot of grief expressed on that thread, and it's often stressed that it is a support thead and possibly some of the posters there feel that it's a situation where you have to live through it to understand it. If everything is hunky dory with your own relationships, for me an element of smugness creeps in when another poster indicates how they handle their own tricky scenarios with success. I know there have been flare ups because when anyone goes on that thread and rightly points out that it's an open forum and as such they have every right to post. I can't help feeling they stir up a hornet's nest that would be best well left alone particularly as they can't know or understand the history and dynamics of the relationship with the child that the parent/s have been cut off from.

Yes I think you are a bit right terri I do see it as a mutual support network, which is why I don’t post on it. That doesn’t mean that I’m not sad for those folk. I am, but have no experience to draw on.

I think you are right too, Terribull about newer members like me wandering over to the "support" thread. In my case this was a misunderstanding about what the thread was for. I thought it was a discussion, now realise that that is not what it is for, but just for those in that position to support each other. No smugness intended, just didn't understand the unspoken rule.