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Another one of my "incidents" ;....

(41 Posts)
seadragon Thu 14-Sept-17 10:58:21

Not personally but we were having coffee in a little cafe when the waitress arrived to serve the people at the next table. As she bent over I realised her black leggings were not opaque and that she was 'going commando". My husband turned his head at that moment and his face was a picture as she was right next to him at shoulder height. We debated whether to take her aside, or perhaps have a word with her manager but as it was the end of the day and presumably she had been commando all day or merely following a fashion craze, baring in mind the visible thong above the trousers thing, we opted to do nothing. Still not sure it was the right decision..... I might reconsider if it happens again........

ExaltedWombat Thu 14-Sept-17 10:30:05

As a matter of interest, why did you feel excessive make-up was required for this business meeting?

NanKate Thu 14-Sept-17 07:03:13

I wear M and S knickers with no VLP and they work a treat.

Imperfect27 Wed 13-Sept-17 23:52:06

grannyactivist what a story! shock Your teacher sounded like a truly formidable woman! I am left wondering if your dad got any help with bringing you up? It must have been hard all round! My dear mum was often ill and away in hospital and I know my dad found it a struggle to look after me and my 4 brothers. But he stayed and got on with it.

phoenix Wed 13-Sept-17 21:41:33

Oh ga, bless you!

grannyactivist Wed 13-Sept-17 20:42:04

Phoenix grin
My 'commando' story:
Aged just five years I was once marched home in the middle of the day by my teacher who was seething with anger, but careful to tell me repeatedly that she wasn't cross with me. My father (who mostly terrified me at that age) was absolutely roasted on the doorstep for sending me to school without knickers - AGAIN!! His response was so meek that I was in awe of the power my lovely teacher had over this scary man and I never forgot the incident. (My mum had left us and my dad obviously left a lot to be desired as a carer for four children under seven, but I never went knickerless again.)

phoenix Wed 13-Sept-17 19:22:34

Alas Crafting I don't think that one was me, unless of course I've forgotten?

ninathenana Wed 13-Sept-17 15:21:21

phoenix imperfect grin grin

Crafting Wed 13-Sept-17 15:11:58

Wonderful. Another day in the life of phoenix. As someone else said, you really should write a book or blog.

I can't be sure phoenix but I think it was you who "decorated her bush" at Christmas. That was a great thread too. grin

Willow500 Wed 13-Sept-17 13:33:28

grin

Imperfect27 Wed 13-Sept-17 12:55:13

Dear Writer, another fine mess! grin.

Perhaps we should have a thread entitled ' The day I went commando."

My no-knickers event was far less exciting than yours and, thankfully did not involve much discomfort or contortions on my part.

When I was very young (ah yes, Shirley Hughes and her wonderful 'My Naughty Little Sister' stories come to mind) my mother decided that I should have a studio portrait photograph taken. Looking back, the decision seems pretty remarkable to me because money was tight in our family and this was an unnecessary and unusual luxury.

No doubt, my mother wanted to capture something of my early innocence and what she cherished as my 'little-giryl splendour' before I began primary school. I had arrived after four brothers and, fortunately for her, had put an end to my father's aspirations for a family football team! Notably, none of said brothers had ever had a studio photograph taken - this was a rare moment of preferential treatment for me!

I do remember some fragments of the preparations for this illustrious occasion. I had worn curly rags to bed the night before, my long gold locks were brushed and fussed over until my scalp felt as if it were on fire that following morning, I was dressed in my finest: a cute corduroy dress, complete with embroidered motif of a little teddy, beating a drum and no doubt my mother would have walked out with some pride that sunny autumnal morning.

Boisterous, noisy, bothersome brothers were duly discarded dropped off at the school gate and we made our way to the very upmarket, guilt-fronted, double-barrelled-named high street photographers where my apparent beauty was to be captured for posterity.

Now, my mother had an awful lot to do every morning. Five of us had arrived within a five and half year period. Father was always out to work early and she had to get us up, washed, breakfasted and dressed single-handed every school day. She was a very good mother - we were always clean and tidy and taught all our manners well.

But on this particular day, something must have gone awry at the planning / dressing stage. We must have been two steps away from the sophisticated jingle of the doorbell and the hushed tones and plushed velvet seating of the photographer's waiting room when my mother suddenly - and without warning, seemed to recollect something. She ground to a halt, tugging me to her side, lifted my skirt in full public view and exclaimed - in loud tones that I can still feel resonating today - "No knickers! I forgot your knickers!"

We had to make a hasty and rather panicked retreat to the nearby "Wool shop," which thankfully stocked little girl 'necessities', so as to reclaim my modesty before our more demure entrance for the photo-shoot!

Needless to say, when I look upon that 'sweet' portrait photo now, some fifty years later, and often before I take in the cherubic grin, the tumbling curls, the cutesy dress and my 'elegant' pose, with bare legs tucked up to the side of me, my eyes are invariably drawn to the slightly hitched up hemline and I fall to wondering again if 'something' would have shown that should not show had it not been for that quick trip to buy another pair of 'unmentionables!

Charleygirl Wed 13-Sept-17 12:53:07

That was your only option methinks.

glammanana Wed 13-Sept-17 12:47:48

Phoenix One wouldn't expect anything else from Next trousers would they ?

aggie Wed 13-Sept-17 12:37:48

Great story phoenix and brilliant riposte Alima I have never tried Thongs , wee DGD reported that her bottom was eating her pants when Mum put too small garments her by mistake , I imagine thongs would be the same

Alima Wed 13-Sept-17 11:58:47

Ha, ha, ha! Bad case of 'soggy bottom' Phoenix!

phoenix Wed 13-Sept-17 11:52:14

From a long time ago...........

"We were on the 9.57 to Paddington to go and present to a potential client. I was suited (Next, since you didn't ask, bargain in the sale) and booted and wearing full metal jacket make-up wise, (i.e. wearing foundation and blusher, rather than just eye make-up which is my usual option if I'm in the office all day.) As the jacket of the suit I was wearing was shorter than my preferred style, I had opted for a rather skimpy thong underneath, in order to avoid the dreaded VPL.

We were travelling first class as it was only an extra £5, and the extra space makes it much easier to work, unlike those cramped seats with silly drop down flaps in standard class, or "steerage" as my colleague calls it. The other advantage is the nice man with the trolley who comes round with complimentary tea, coffee, pastries and bottled water. My daily intake of water is pretty high, but when in the office I limit myself to 1 cup of coffee a day. I had 2 cups of coffee and a bottle of water.

After a while I decided that I really should go for what the Americans refer to as a “comfort break”. Upon standing I realised that I should have made that decision earlier, as I was by now quite desperate. I made my way to the facilities, which thankfully were not engaged and were therefore available for immediate occupation. I entered, locked the door undid my trousers and assumed the position. Embarking with some relief on a much needed emptying of my bladder, I noticed that although my trousers were around my knees, they had not been accompanied by my underwear, which was still in its designated area.

I felt that I had 2 options, namely:

1) Attempt some very difficult and possibly limb threatening contortions to get the relevant parts under the hand drier.
2) Remove the garment and put it in the bin and spend the rest of the day "commando"

Dear Reader, I chose option 2, and can testify to the non-chafing properties of Next trousers."