How to get on with Grandsons

Why haven't you said anything to them, let alone to their parents. Why and what have they said ? My 8 year old granddaughter can be a bit cheeky , although she is usually very good, she's just growing up , but she doesn't get away with it. Her parents would be mortified if they thought she'd be as horrendous as those boys.

I think you need a talk with their parents and make it clear you find it upsetting.

You don't like it and you want to try and have have a sensible discussion with them about this rather than just getting a telling off.
It is more likely to have a positive result than any punishment
Try "how would you like it if I said that to you." stuff and how unkind it is to anyone.

Their parents should have a calm and pointed discussion about kindness good manners etc.
Not just the punishment they would have had in our day.

"How do I cope, as do not want to cause a problem, by telling my Daughter."
Tough. She needs to know. And what problem do you think it's going to cause?

Anya Yup that sort of thing would be my response as well!!!

Oh come on if the worse they ve done is call her a witch, like Anya I d have made a joke out of it and told them that old witches eat naughty kids or some other daft thing
Obviously if they keep on and do it in a malicious way then she needs to talk to them about it preferable in a calm way
But as seasidelady doesn't seem to come back after the initial post it's all seems quite pointless really

Yes Bluebelle I'm surprised seaside hasn't come back!

This post by seaside lady has been posted before in July. Same subject, same answers with advise, why, have you posted twice on same subject, can you tell us seaside?

Well I didn't see the July thread or else I wouldn't have bothered posting on this one
I think we might have been played anyway

Have you challenged them on this? Asked them why they're being rude? What was the response?

Maybe you shouldn't "do things with them" if they're so hurtful. Let them know you don't spend time with people who say mean things. (You may hear a chorus of, "Sorries" and "Oh, I was just jokings," lol!)

Letting them know you'll call mum, as someone else suggested, is a good idea, too, imo. But you have to be willing to go through with it.

If all else fails, though, I would let dd know that I can't be alone with the gss - that they make nasty remarks to me when she's not there. She may defend them to you, but I bet she'll have a talk with them, as well.

If they're only doing this when she's not there, then they probably aren't allowed to speak this way and they know it. Yes, telling their mum may cause a "problem" - they may get punished - but they will have brought it on themselves. They may be angry at you, but they'll know not to disrespect you again.

You must tell your daughter. My mother did not tell me when my son, then aged 13, stayed with her and was rude. She stopped sending him birthday and Christmas gifts and eventually I asked her why. She then told me about what he had said to her. But she had decided he was just bad. She even said " By the boy you know the man". I was really upset and told her that she should have talked to me about his behaviour. This lead to us falling out and not speaking for about 5 years. I eventually broke the silence but the gap had affected all 3 of my children of course. I don't think she would ever have got in touch again if I hadn't contacted her.
So please talk to the parents they need to know how their children behave when they are not around.

I think they may be jealous of the attention you are receiving,maybe they usually have mum all to,themselves,don't like having to share her

Absolutely

Tell your daughter!!

As adults it is our responsibility to teach children right from wrong.

If you do not tell your daughter what her son's are doing, how can she put it right and how can she teach them that it is wrong ? you owe it to your grandsons to get the discipline that is needed here.

Apart from that it is not nice for you

seasidelady

I have just spoken to my husband about this and he said that if you say something to your daughter it is likely that she will believe you and it will cause arguments--my husband suggests taping them being horrid to you on your mobile phone and showing it to your daughter--his advise not mine however he is a man of the world and I do always listen to him and he is usually right

sorry typo..it is unlikely that she will believe you

I don't think it is necessarily "unlikely that she will believe you" ..... a possibility but without further information how can we possibly know! Taping tem could also be like a red rag to a bull for Mum of the boys...I'd avoid that one, but again only the OP can decide really. seaside lady I hope the GN advice has been helpful for you in deciding the best way forward for you

SeasideLady. I don't mean to appear rude but are you frightened of your own shadow. And why have you posted this twice, in July and again now.
Please stand up for yourself with these children and your husband.

Are we going to get a third posting on the same subject.

Surely the second posting is because it's nearer the time of departure and it's looming in her life.
My dgd who is dearer than dear to me said something on the lines of how boring it was going to the beach when we could do something else (we were passing a funfair fruit machine type of place) it was all lights and noise and popcorn smell and no way on earth would you get me to set foot in one and I was very hurt as I would have preferred to be at home with a book. I told her so and marched on to the beach where she had a lovely time digging her way to Australia. Be as blunt with the grandsons as they are with you.

Is this post genuine? I haven't seen seaside lady replying to any of the comments or questions???

These boys need to learn some manners and basic respect for others. I would want to know if my children were behaving in this way. Is the boy's father around? I have a very sly son in law that behaves as soon as my daughter walks back in the room.

Taping gransons on mobile phone and then shopping them to their parents? Seriously? That´ll make for a lovely atmosphere all round. Can´t granny stand up for herself? Tell them to be less cheeky and make them a trayload of chocolate muffins.

Magicwriter I think you ve hit the nail on the head I think we are all falling for another nono post
Seaside posted before, we all gave her advice, she didn't answer or come back, then a month or so later she posts the same again and off we all go with not a sign of her again

Regardless of whether the original posting was genuine or not, it got a lot of people talking, so obviously a subject that many feel strongly about/have personal experience of and want to share their views. Why not?

I'm sure this in an old post

Sorry, just scrolled up to see lots saying the same thing. Feel as though we did this one to death several months ago