Children not welcome!

My daughter and her partner once took their child, aged about three, to a restaurant. He sat in his seat and behaved himself, but kept up a constant commentary and series of questions about everything going on around him. When he saw a plate of whitebait being served, he exclaimed, "Oh look at those fish! They're not very happy fish - they're all dead!"
When the couple at the next table had finished their sad, dead whitebait and got up to leave, they thanked my daughter's family for making their meal so entertaining.

There are four coffee shops in our village where I can take my grandchildren after I pick them up after school.
They chat pleasantly to the people in the coffee shops, know the names of the people who work there and ask about their families and pets, ask them what they did in the holidays or since they last saw them, and altogether act like reasonable people.
Isn't that how we should all bring up our children?
However, if they are banned because of the behaviour of others, how will they ever learn?

I agree with durhamjen on this. When I take my perfectly behaved DGC out and about we don't come across many children running wild, with parents not trying to control them. Even in venues specifically for children, where there are hordes of them. Yes, there's the odd tantrum (my DD1 could tantrum for England, so I have sympathy with the poor parent dealing with it), and a lot of laughter and excitement - they're children! But nothing that would spoil my day. I felt ashamed of myself on a recent trip when an older boy barged into DGS2, nearly knocking him over, and I bristled. Until his mum apologised and explained about his additional needs.

We took our children everywhere, and they were sometimes complimented on their behaviour, even then there were some badly behaved ones around, but not so many, to my mind mobile phones in the hands of parents, have a lot to answer for.As long as the children are not bothering the parents so they don't need to interact with them, then they don't care what they do.

X posts Day6 ?

Just because you haven't experienced it durhamjen doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.
There are many, many badly behaved children around and I see instances of it all the time, in cafes pubs and restaurants.
It spoils any enjoyment of convesation and meals.
Dogs shouldn't be in restaurants, only in pub gardens.

Glad you didn't experience badly behaved children DJ, but that doesn't mean they aren't prevalent today, unfortunately. Look at this thread.

Society changes, values change.

You've been very lucky then!

I had a cafe for five years and a guest house for ten years. I can't recall coming across these badly behaved children.

DJ, my youngest in particular was VERY prone to tantrums when out. I had to deal with them, which quite often involved removing him from the hearing of other adults. I remember it well. My young boys could be extremely boisterous too and they had to be frequently chastised so they didn't become a nuisance when out.

Sadly, today, not all parents show the same regard to those nearby and allow their children to become nuisances. It's selfish and such a pity that those children aren't actively learning how to behave better and respect others.

Just to add, just because I imposed those rules doesn't mean she always followed them. Then I would deal with it.

I expected certain rules to be followed regarding table manners, which were the same whether we were home or out. No difference, because I expected to be able to enjoy my meal without it being interrupted by my daughter.
We didn't need to be in a cafe for those rules to be applied.

Strange, isn't it, that all our children are well-behaved.
Is it a prerequisite of being on GN?

grannyticktock - But if you want children to acquire the social skills we'd all like them to have, then they need the opportunity to be amongst other adults and learn what behaviour is acceptable.

I totally agree, BUT so many parents just don't seem to give a damn about how their children behave in cafes and restaurants.

When I took my own young children out I wanted them to have learning experiences when eating in cafes etc, but for that I relied on them being receptive, listening and behaving appropriately. I had to make that effort to give them a good experience.

So many young parents don't behave appropriately when out with their children and there is little chance their children will behave well with a switched off, otherwise engrossed parent as a role model.

It works both ways. Do we need a written guarantee from parents that they will remain attentive and supervise their children when they take them to cafes? I know many do, but unfortunately the bad parents produce 'nuisance' children who aren't chastised when they become badly behaved.

You cannot blame the children really. It's a sad state of affairs that so many of us seek peace from children when out.

My grandaughter aged 10 wears size 12-13 clothes. So would we have to have ID if we wanted to go in a cafe that banned under 12s?
She easily looks 12. Would they challenge her?

Janet Street-Porter thinks kids should be banned from restaurants.
If I went into a restaurant and saw Janet Street-Porter there, I'd leave, rather than have to listen to her voice.

Had lunch in a child-friendly pub last week. My GCs aged 2 and 4 were great, played a card game and drew quietly. Children at a table behind us weren't. One child screamed a lot, one child banged the metal condiments container on the table a lot, one child shouted at his parents a lot. Every time it happened my mum (aged 95) commented in a very loud voice. "I wish someone would do something about that child!" etc. It didn't do any good, it did embarrass us. So yes let's ban children so there are places I can go when I want a quiet lunch. No idea what you could do about my mum of course.

Banning mobile phones and other screens is a brilliant idea. We could actually hold a conversation over a coffee. ?

I love children, I spent over 25 years working with them but, just as I choose adult only Warner holidays, I would choose to visit this establishment and have a child free cuppa. Too many mums take over places with their precious charges without respecting others and you are condemned if you dare to say anything. So this is very welcome. Oh, and I am disabled and I appreciate that I can't get into a lot of places as well because of space, doorsteps etc. but to me that's a different ballgame.

SummerJ has a good point: how are children to learn how to behave in public places if they're banned from too many of them? If you just herd all the children and families in together and expect the kids to run riot, they probably will. But if you want children to acquire the social skills we'd all like them to have, then they need the opportunity to be amongst other adults and learn what behaviour is acceptable.

If their behaviour is causing problems, then a word with the child, the parent or the management may help to keep order. There's no excuse for rude and disruptive behaviour anywhere , and we shouldn't have to put up with it.

If no effort is made to assimilate children into society, they're never going to learn. They won't magically mature into sensible and courteous adults, they'll turn into noisy, inconsiderate louts.

Some cafe's in America have started banning the use of wi-fi to encourage conversation. Otherwise cafes end up like extended offices.
That I do agree with.

Should have read "very well".

Bottom line is that this coffee shop owner and any other can decide who he allows onto his premises and who he doesn't. If existing, or potential, customers have a problem with that they can vote with their feet and go elsewhere. But recent reviews of other cafe and coffee shop establishments, who have made similar decisions to the cafe in Brixham, appear to be doing very.
I didn't know that Tai Chi grans were an unruly lot!

Should he ban students as well? They can quite often be unruly in my experience. As can groups of grans who have just been doing Tai Chi classes.

Summerj's point about the cafe being a learning environment and not all children run around uncontrolled, is a valid observation.
The problem arises when you get just one or two unruly youngsters in a roomful of antique artefacts. Then, there could be the potential for breakages. Would the parent(s) offer to pay? Or, in my view more likely, would they complain that there shouldn't be antiques in a cafe where they allow children?
What happens if a child is injured by one of the objects on display? Who is to blame?
I think the owner has done the right thing.