Things that over 50's aren't expected to do, have, think, or want?

They should never want to try out:
A friends husband.
A butt plug.
Hangliding

They shouldn't try to pole dance around lampposts whilst inebriated, neither should they be sick in anyone's handbag (their own included)

MissAdventure ^Wear clean knickers (no thongs)
Wipe their sides down with antibacterial spray.^

Are the two connected?! I'm not wiping my sides down with antibac spray - far too sensitive

Do I detect the voice of experience MissAdventure?

mini!

I'm teetotal, Ana. Honest, guv. [wink ]

They shouldn't: clean smears off pristine surfaces by licking their finger and rubbing it on said smear.

Or likewise GC faces MissAdventure

Go to a nieces hen night and dance on the table
Grab a carafe of wine for bus juice on way home
Get ex DIL p****d and deliver home in sorry state.

Or Gollum

I'm so glad I dont indulge in any of these things.. just myself, the ticking of the clock, and the clicking of my knitting needles most evenings.

Oh I'm a bit behind there Misadventure

Drink too much and burble
Tell tales to their DGC of what they got up to when they were young
Tell their DGC what their DC got up to when they were young

They should never say 'what a lovely young man' to their DC as said DC will immediately think you fancy him and that is hilarious - and yuk!!

when I say young man and him I obviously mean any charming young man who shows some manners to the elderly (and is good for a bit of a flirt with an old granny too).

Kiss their teenaged grandchildren in front of teenaged grandchildren's friends

Catch teenaged grandchildren' school bus home

might actually have done both of those

I wish there was a like button for some of these

Have a life, instead of being available for childcare.?

They should always put their children first. Even when the children are 74 and 76, and they're 98 themself.

Call their uber trendy and cool 14 year old grandson 'squishy' in front of his friends.

Flirt with customers to get free prosecco

Tell your work colleagues that you go skip diving for your evening meals just to save money

Should never

Love loud heavy metal music
Tell people they hate horse racing and sport

I once ( well maybe not once) used the f word at work all the young people stopped talking looked at me aghast and one said 'I m shocked' .......if that's all it takes to shock them I give up??

Shouldn't ...

... say naughty words in front of sweet, innocent 19 month-old DGS (and start practising 'raised eyebrows' look for when he inevitably starts to use same...)

... spend more money on prosecco, red wine and chocolate than healthy eating.

...answer the door in a baggy t-shirt without a bra on (not pretty!)

... not cackle loudly over 'funny', but very un p.c. jokes in public.

Get a tattoo
Pain toe nails turquoise and wear open-toed shoes
Swear at other drivers with GC in the car.

Have loved this thread - a bit of a down day for me yesterday, but it made me chuckle again an again.
The thought of so many 'anonymous', but 'naughty' grannies out there transformed my train journeys .