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An equal way to share the father of the bride's roles at a wedding?

(30 Posts)
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MarionHalcombe Tue 08-Aug-17 23:11:20

Dd gets married next year, she has a step dad of 13 years, 2 younger brothers (24 yrs and 21 yrs) and a son who will be three. Her dad has been dead 3 years, but we're not sure he would have attended if he had been alive.

She is trying to share the roles out between the three men and have them all equally involved. She has asked dh to do the speech as neither son would be comfortable speaking in public and has asked her 21 year old brother to walk her up the aisle. The elder brother will be in the car with them but after that becomes a bit of a spare part. He could be a witness but that seems a ' hidden' role and they don't want to do a father/daughter dance. It's been suggested that he could be an usher, but once again it's a minor role.

Neither dd nor I fancied the idea of me walking her up the aisle, I'm doing one of the readings.

All suggestions gratefully received. Thanks

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GrandmaMoira Wed 09-Aug-17 21:47:18

My friend's daughter was walked up the aisle by both of her brothers. If your older son doesn't want to do that, being senior usher is quite prominent.

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4Fatsausages Wed 09-Aug-17 22:28:05

Congratulations on the forthcoming wedding. I'm sure it will be a fabulous day. I walked my daughter down the isle as her mother I did the whole parent role normally carried out by the father. (she no longer has a father but has a stepdad). This was what my daughter wanted. When my daughter was getting flustered planning her wedding, I told her not to worry about what people may think but to decide what she wanted, and not over-think about what anyone else would think of her choices.
She ended up having a brilliant wedding that everyone enjoyed but most of all she was totally relaxed on the day.
My advice would be to tell your daughter to do what feel's right for her, and not over-think what other's might think. As the people that love her will just want her to have an amazing day!

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Purpledaffodil Wed 09-Aug-17 22:38:56

DD got married on Saturday. Her father travelled in the car with her and walked her down the aisle, her brother was an usher and also made the FoB speech as DH has had a stroke and his speaking can be unpredictable due to aphasia. We had a lunch party for family and friends on the Sunday and DH made a speech to them so he got his turn.
All weddings are different these days. The important thing is that people are involved to the extent they are able and willing to be IMHO.

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GrandmaKT Wed 09-Aug-17 22:42:05

I know you said your ds wouldn't feel comfortable giving a speech, but would he propose the toast to the happy couple?

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