An equal way to share the father of the bride's roles at a wedding?

I know you said your ds wouldn't feel comfortable giving a speech, but would he propose the toast to the happy couple?

DD got married on Saturday. Her father travelled in the car with her and walked her down the aisle, her brother was an usher and also made the FoB speech as DH has had a stroke and his speaking can be unpredictable due to aphasia. We had a lunch party for family and friends on the Sunday and DH made a speech to them so he got his turn.
All weddings are different these days. The important thing is that people are involved to the extent they are able and willing to be IMHO.

Congratulations on the forthcoming wedding. I'm sure it will be a fabulous day. I walked my daughter down the isle as her mother I did the whole parent role normally carried out by the father. (she no longer has a father but has a stepdad). This was what my daughter wanted. When my daughter was getting flustered planning her wedding, I told her not to worry about what people may think but to decide what she wanted, and not over-think about what anyone else would think of her choices.
She ended up having a brilliant wedding that everyone enjoyed but most of all she was totally relaxed on the day.
My advice would be to tell your daughter to do what feel's right for her, and not over-think what other's might think. As the people that love her will just want her to have an amazing day!

My friend's daughter was walked up the aisle by both of her brothers. If your older son doesn't want to do that, being senior usher is quite prominent.

When my Step-Daughter married her DF (my DH) took her in the car & walked her down the aisle. Greeting line included my DH & myself, Step-Daughter's DM & Step-Father. We all sat on the top table, my DH wasn't much of one for public speaking so just gave a very short speech, Best Man gave a fantastic speech (his job involved lots of public speaking) & Step-Father also gave a good speech. Happy all round, fantastic day. Incidently her B had no role at all out of choice.

My DIL has a step dad and a real dad. Her step dad took her to the venue, her real dad walked her down the aisle. As mother of the groom there's not much to do. So she had a slot put in for me to do a reading so I felt totally included (my hubby wouldn't do anything apart from attend). There should be a role that you can find for everyone by doing things differently. Its not written in stone that tradition should be followed

I think it's lovely that so much thought has gone in it, but may I suggest you ask the 2 guys what they would like to do or what they would be happy doing. Then see if it fits in with your DD.

Chief Usher is an important job, and when DD married, she asked our DS to do this ( he is a born meeter and greeter)
So, an important role.

Some kind of bridemaid/ bridemaid escort . Or your escort up the aisle. Best uncle looking after the little son.

I too think highly of a family thinking so carefully about this.
Sadly, both of my DiLs' fathers had died before their weddings. They approached it differently:
One walked down the aisle alone, her 2 brothers a couple of steps behind. A song that her father used to sing to her was played during this.
The other couple chose to enter together and walk hand-in-hand.

Fifties - her fiance is her son's daddy.

I was joking about the outfit, I'm more or less decided on a full skirted dress and bolero from Suzy Hamilton.

Coco, the aisle isn't wide enough sadly.

When DD got married DSIL couldn't decide between friends to be best man. He chose both so no-one would be left out. I can't see why your two sons shouldn't both walk up the isle with your daughter, and her step-dad be honorary father of the bride at the reception

If you are buying a new outfit buy something you will feel comfortable wearing and that you will use afterwards.

My sister wore a fetching trouser suit at my wedding, as she wasn't comfortable in skirts or dresses.

These days I think no-one has fixed ideas about how the mother of the bride should look, but you might want to nod to superstition and not wear black, or white.

perhaps the bride-to-be could be talked into going shopping with you for your outfit?

Its very lovley that Marians dd is trying to think of her brother but I think that all the people know that there is no moment like walking a person up the aisle. No one here has a husband who would have said I'll be a greeter its just as good. Sorry for my bluntness. I wonder why the elder brother isn't standing in for his father which would be more usually done?

Does your dear husband have his own daughters that he isn't doing it?

My suggestion for fairness is that both brothers are greeters and her son walks with her to meet his new daddy as they start their family life together.

Or is a grandfather alive? That would also be lovely.

Thanks for all your input. I've sent dd a link. She's been quite worked up about this but there's always something with a wedding isn't there?

If only she could get her priorities right and sort my outfit out!

Could elder brother meet bride and younger brother at bottom of aisle and swap over there, so he 'gives her away'

An usher is an important role. Meter and greeter, putting folk into correct side. I think the bride s done well .

Just to add I think it's really lovely that you and dd are thinking so hard about this

The nice thing about being a witness is that you are recorded for posterity on the marriage certificate

Skweek1 My son had his brother and his 2 best friends as "Grooms Men" (it is an American term where the groom has his college friends all gather to represent their pal) The usher role is very important at any wedding they can help direct guests to thier seats and afterwards to their tables for the speeches and meal

My first husband had two friends, one was best man and the other, an extremely shy young man, was what my husband called "groom's man" (not a phrase I'd heard)- made sure that best man had the ring, ushered, and generally acted as support to all the groom's side of the proceedings.

I went to a wedding of my bil who's daughter was a witness...think that would be an ideal role for him and an important one too.

switch that round then,brothers escort her TO the church and stepdad meets her at the top of the aisle and walks her down

If the couple are both having rings could he hold the ring she will give like the best man will hold the ring the groom will give, if you get what I mean. Remembering the ring is a big, important job! That with usher and witness gives him quite a big role.

Would he feel OK doing a reading? Is there space for that? It's public but easier than a speech and he may feel he could manage it. I'd balk at a speech but cope with a reading, it does feel safer.

Otherwise usher and witness both seem fine to me. It depends how our,is he wants to be. Both are so important and as a witness his signature is part of the wedding for all time. Has he been asked how he feels about it and what he would like to do? He may have his own ideas or be very happy with one of the roles. I've seen the ushers calm guests, manage upset children, help those with physical issues, slip a child out to the toilet, manage the music - and more. It's certainly a central role.

You know everything holds equal importance, whether best man, usher or witness, they are all needed and it's important those carrying out the roles are comfortable doing it. Wishing you all well, hope the wedding is wonderful. Do let us know how it goes.