Statements never likely to be said.

' It has been announced that every country and person in the world is at peace with each other. '

No, don't pick up that shovel I have cleared the dog poo from the grass!

(DH) From now on I will always say "Yes of course I will do whatever you ask me to do, TODAY" and never say "yes ok TOMORROW".

What Norah said.

Scottish midges are extinct!

The tax man 'yes we are sorry we have sent you three letters all saying different things and you do not owe anything'

I know exactly where my keys/glasses/wallet are

You take charge of the tv remote dear ( DH)

In a supermarket - would you like me to pack for you. No one seems to help now we take our own carriers. instead they just sit and watch me fumble about trying to hurry and getting nowhere fast. Is it only me ...

Some of the assistants in our local Tesco are very helpful with packing.
Just fumble and sigh a bit more 5boysnan

I'll take the dog for a walk darling, you stay here and watch University Challenge.

I am SO glad British Gas has made so much profit (again).

Isn't it wonderful how we gransnetters all agree with each other on the politics threads.

Today I will clear all the junk from my garage

I know exactly where the back doors keys have been put.

DH - let's try some different meals and not always have potatoes with everything

Me - I have woken up bursting with energy and won't need to rest at all today - AS IF.

No thanks I won't have any chocolate, have you got a stick of celery ?

No thank you, I don't drink wine.

The British economy is so well managed that we can afford to give pensioners a pension they can live on....

"I've done everything on my To Do List"

This morning I will do my ironing & clean the oven now that's optimistic.

Dear, please do not fret about my the dog digging in the garden. Your beautiful, now ruined Mandevilla will look well again next year soon.

The sun is shining, it's a lovely day, but I must catch up on the housework.

Are you looking for a size 10 or 12 madam.

You look lovely wearing a hat.

and not a bit like the Queen Mother

This size 14 is too big - do you have it in a size 12?