Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

Give me back my stuff!!!!

And how are you going to get to a party with no shoes, coat, watch, earrings, handbag or nose stud? You're almost nekkied!

Make me!

A fit young sailor
Meno ? Can you only cope with one?

She's still looking for her shoes Marydoll . Where did you hide them?

Don't try and blame me. I saw you putting them on eBay. You'll not get much. Those red soles have been coloured in with permanent red marker.

Eh? They're not genuine Louboutins?
Here you are Menopaws , you can have them back.

Thanks for ratting on me Mary but at least I look a bit better with shoes, the rest I can do without. One sailor at a time, I'm not greedy. the coat and earrings were yours anyway Chewy, I nicked them off you that night I found you unconscious in the cellar..fancy not remembering!!

Eurgh! I went to all that bother of poking my finger up your nose just to nick a Primark nose stud?

Actually it was inside a cracker last xmas!!

That's what happens when you go poking around in another persons nose Chewy

The ruddy pussers rum is in the ruddy pusser! ( Purser to you.) he came round here last Friday and left drunk as a skunk, we need to order more rum.

Meanwhile I will have a pint of my usual please.
Marydoll whatever has happned to you, you look as if you have been dragged through a hedge backwards ......oh, you have been! Who by?

I was thinking (I know dangerous!), why don't we try and make our own hooch? We could save a fortune and those cadets will never know the difference, once they have had a few.

Good idea, what shall we put in it?

I'll try You tube for some ideas. Also, I have lots of bottles with dregs of various alcoholic beverages. I could mix them together and add to the hooch for a bit of flavour.

Don't you dare Marydoll ! The last time you mixed al your alcoholic dregs ends together it gave you the most horrendous wind ever! I was frightened to light a cigarette if you were in the room! Don't do it!

You know I always do the opposite of what you tell me!

It wasn't so much the fag you were going to light, I was more afraid of swallowing the previous fag you put out in the dregs!

well if you hadn't sold all the ash trays for scrap metal, it wouldn't have happened, would it Menopaws ? I've had to resort to shoving them in my back pocket. Hell of a shock if I haven't stubbed 'em out properly .

Saw those smoke rings behind you but didn't like to say. Where have our newbies gone? They know about the new Argy I hope

Those smoke rings were because my rear end was on fire!
No idea where the newbies are. But I did notice that the fire extinguishers, the first aid box and those dirty postcards on the ladies loo walls have all disappeared. You've not sold them to pay the rent again have you?

I reckon you took the extinguisher and first aid kit when you set your arse alight and you are just trying to pass the buck to me, the dirty postcards has Mary's name all over it, don't you worry about the rent, the 'herbs" cover that

that really did make me laugh out loud!

My arse was well alight because there was no damned extinguisher! Why do you think I haven't sat on a bar stool for a week? Where has Marydoll got to with all that home made hooch? She took all the dregs of kahlua, Tia Maria, Grenadine and bucks fizz and hasn't been back.

Did someone call my name? What day is it?

And where have you been? as if we didn't know. Well..... have you made the cocktails with the dregs of the liqueurs? oh my! MARYDOLL! What have you done!