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feeling guilty

(65 Posts)
travelsafar Tue 04-Jul-17 19:08:26

Does any one else get that guilty feeling when they just sit for an hour and do nothing apart from read the paper or watch tv during the afternoon of the day. Since I have retired two years ago i still cant shake this feeling off and convince myself its fine to do this.

mysticgirlracer Fri 07-Jul-17 15:11:30

I do still feel guilty when doing nothing, I retired 2 months ago. But then I tell myself not to be stupid as I deserve to have a rest

W11girl Fri 07-Jul-17 15:41:12

Yes of course it is fine to do this, provided we keep our minds alive and bodies relatively active for the rest of the time. As a matter of fact I sit down every afternoon with tea, a rug and a book. I get up at 6am and fit in all my activities/housework etc up until 2pm..ish and sit down about 3pm..ish. It replenishes me enabling me to start again about 5pm or 6pm!

Rosina Fri 07-Jul-17 17:06:50

I had very little time to myself during the 'children' years, and after, due to a ghastly financial crisis. Since retiring I have gradually come to revel in the complete freedom and can now relax and red a book, catch up on some TV or mess around on the PC without feeling that I should be ironing, dusting, attending a U3A lecture or improving my mind and body in some way. i do understand how you feel, travelsafar, but if you work at it you will gradually find you can tootle about pleasing yourself for most of the time - the great joy of retirement.

Rosina Fri 07-Jul-17 17:08:12

I meant 'read' - perhaps a typing course could be fitted into my idle times?

jimmyRFU Fri 07-Jul-17 17:30:20

I was made redundant April 2013 after 35 plus years with the same organisation. Through that time I got married, had children and worked full time except for maternity leave. My parents were our child minders.

When I lost my job it took me a long time to get used to not getting up at 5.30 to walk the dog and get my lift. Then home after to do the chores. Had to get myself into the retired frame of mind.

Here I am 2017 and I feel ike I'm wasting my life some days. I've kept my hand in a bit at Microsoft Office so could get a little job but hubby says no, stay home. I'm not bothered about getting a job but want to get out and visit places, see things. I can find plenty to do - walk the dog, housework, etc but some days its not enough.

I think the problem is hubby has an evening job and his day consists of hanging aroound the house and having breakfast until 10 am. Then going out and being back by 2 pm to watch tv before going to work.

On a lovely day like today its infuriating that so much lovely weather is being wasted. I've told him to ether get his act together or I will go out on my own.

blue60 Fri 07-Jul-17 18:28:38

NO. Do what you want to do, and if that means nothing carry on and enjoy yourself. xx

Peaseblossom Fri 07-Jul-17 18:58:55

No I don't feel guilty. I often watch television all day and evening. I do however get bored stiff. I've got plenty of time to be doing lots of stuff in the house such as housework, washing curtains /windows etc. but I just don't want to do it! grin. I think that's partially depression. I got made redundant a year ago and I would like to find a job for two days a week. I only have my state pension and no private pension. I do have some money left by my mother, but I don't want to keep eating into it because I might need it when I'm older, although I have been gradually using it. I think the job would keep me fit and save me having to keep dipping into that money. I do yoga Friday mornings and hula fit Wednesday nights and I go out for lunch a couple of days a week.

lovebeigecardigans1955 Fri 07-Jul-17 19:28:27

I never feel guilty about this as I feel that I'll catch up later if necessary. Early this morning I did the ironing and yes, I'm lazy so I'll spend much of the rest of the day doing as I jolly well please.
I admit that I'm a lazy article in the housekeeping department but you don't get medals for dusting.
I've an embroidered cushion which reads 'housework won't kill you buy why take the risk?'

stevej4491 Fri 07-Jul-17 21:34:20

I love being retired (13 year's now).Do what I want ,when I want,and if I don't feel like doing it I don't.Brillant life,I certainly don't feel guilty,I've nobody to please but my self.

stevej4491 Fri 07-Jul-17 21:40:50

A friend gave me a fridge magnet that said" you can look at the dust but don't write in it",she knew I would'nt be offened, she was right too. Housework? WHY? It won't go anywhere.

stevej4491 Fri 07-Jul-17 21:41:30

offended,sorry

Serkeen Sat 08-Jul-17 07:22:38

[Travelsafar] NO definitely not, why would you feel guilty for rest now after all the years that you have worked.

I think maybe this feeling of guilt you have when you rest, must have been installed in you from childhood

ENJOY the WELL EARNED REST and chuck guilt out the window

seasider Sat 08-Jul-17 07:32:29

Your day sounds perfect Maggie and what I shall do when I retire !

Serkeen Sat 08-Jul-17 09:13:52

[jimmyRFU] I know exactly how you feel when you say you feel the day is wasted when you see the lovely sunny day.

Not really fair your DH telling you not to go to work I think if you want to go to work then you should

My DH husband also like to have our lives fairly separate, with him doing his own thing and me doing mine, which I don't like and am not happy about but have definitely embraced it.

He wasn't always like that but at some point he just went back to acting like a single man.

An alternative, and this would make you feel that you were doing something worth while perhaps is volunteering.