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Children calling adults by their first name.

(69 Posts)
Daddima Fri 23-Jun-17 09:41:16

It seems this is now quite normal. Now, I don't have a problem with it, but my children didn't do it, and I wouldn't have dared!
I remember, when I was about 15, my mother's friend told me to call her Margaret, as calling her Mrs Smith made her feel old! My mother was not amused when she heard me, and I was told off in front of everyone!

ruthjean Sat 24-Jun-17 12:06:27

a lovely little family moved in next door with a 3 year old, the parents told her to call me 'Ruth' which she does. I would prefer Nana Ruth (I'm an OAP) but as she already has an assortment of step /natural grandparents in her interests I've not said anything, but she sometimes calls me Ruth-next-door' which is rather sweet
!

quizqueen Sat 24-Jun-17 12:18:37

I work in a children's nursery and often ask the children what their parents' first names are, especially when we are making cards for them at some celebration times. The majority don't know even when I ask what daddy calls mummy( maybe I shouldn't ask that!!!). Many young children don't know their surname/family name either.

inishowen Sat 24-Jun-17 12:21:46

Over 60 years ago my mum and dad moved into a new house. They met the neighbours, Mr and Mrs. Evans. My parents were Mr. and Mrs. Parker. They became life long friends but never went on to use first names. It used to amuse us a lot. Personally I like to use first names and it is the norm to have children use them too. Calling non family "auntie or uncle" is just daft.

Antonia Sat 24-Jun-17 13:26:58

I once had the experience of teaching French junior school children for a morning, as a guest teacher, and I was surprised to find the 7&8 year olds calling their teacher (a friend of mine) by her Christian name. I don't know how widespread that is though.

pollyperkins Sat 24-Jun-17 13:41:42

I agree with most. As a child my relatives and my godmother and some friends of my parents were Aunty or uncle so and so. All other adults were Mr & Mrs Surname.
My own children all called Aunties & Uncles by these titles plus Christian names (still do , in their 40s) but most other adults by christian names only ( apart from teachers and other authority figures.) My children's partners call us by first names which I didnt with my in laws but we are fine with that. Grandchildren still use Mummy & Daddy , Gransma & Grandpa but most other adults are Christian names only including aunts and uncles. We live in more i formal times which is fine, thpugh I do object to complete strangers eg cold callers using my first name and also service providers eg hairdresser but go along with it.
However as others have said when my MiL was is hospital in her 90s it seemed very disrespectful for nurses to call her by her first name! Im dure they are trying to be friendly but they should take into account the age of the person.

Legs55 Sat 24-Jun-17 15:09:35

Regarding the Hospital comments, I have always been asked what I would prefer to be called whenever I have been in Hospital over many years, I am grateful they ask as I'm known by my middle name. It took my previous GP over 10 years to finally ask me if I would prefer to be called by anything other than my first name, he was my GP for over 22 years & was 4 years younger than megrin. Present GP always uses first name + surname, don't see her often & computer system doesn't allow Reception staff to note preference confused

I hate the way cold callers use your first name, as mine isn't the one friends & family use I'm immediately annoyedangry.

When I was growing up close family friends were Auntie & Uncle, this continued until I was out of my teens. Other adults in the Village were Mr/Mrs/Miss or first name + last name.

My DD closest friends are Auntie to DGS so it does depend on what family regards as normal/respectful. My DD & her OH are very hot on mannerssmile

Leticia Sat 24-Jun-17 17:37:26

I get anyone of any age to call me by my first name.
I am trying to get nephews and nieces to drop the 'auntie' so that I don't end up like my mother having almost 80yr olds calling her 'auntie'!
It is very liberating going into schools to work with the children and just use my first name instead of Mrs.

DaisyL Sat 24-Jun-17 18:01:30

My youngest GD asked me why I had christened my son 'Daddy'. Because I always refer to him as Daddy in front of her and her brother as does DIL (their mother). Wonderful notion that I would have a prophetic idea that my son would marry and have children when he was a tiny baby and have the foresight to christen him Daddy.

joannewton46 Sat 24-Jun-17 19:30:51

So long as whatever I'm called is polite, I really don't care. Sadly no grandchildren yet so that one hasn't arisen. Hopefully .....

Brupen Sat 24-Jun-17 20:07:14

I must say I agree with every word you say. I only wish I could have said it as clearly and succinctly. Lily flower.

Deedaa Sat 24-Jun-17 21:27:03

I find it depends on the person. With some people it just seems natural for all of us to call them by their first name and with others we just don't. One of my GS's teachers lives next door to us and, although I always call her by her first name, if I'm talking about her she's always Mrs. ..........

Struggling2do1 Sun 25-Jun-17 09:40:23

I recall my DS visiting a friends house when he was about 6. The other childs mother asked him what my name was and he replied 'mum'. Bless him.

rosesarered Sun 25-Jun-17 09:55:55

Awww, quite right to! smile
I always called adults Mr or Mrs no first names allowed back then.
I was always Mrs Roses to friends of our DC too.
Other than our own DGC, and extended family children ( who call us Aunty and Uncle) don't know any other children.

sukysue Sun 25-Jun-17 15:47:22

This is getting more common I think. I recently went to two funerals and the children of the deceased spoke about their parents and called them by their first names too. I thought it was disrespectful but then I am an old fuddy duddy

varian Sun 25-Jun-17 23:48:31

As students in the early sixties we called our lecturers Professor Smith, Dr Jones, etc and they addressed us as Miss Bloggs, Mr Gubbins or whatever. Thirty years later everyone was on first name terms but some young students found it difficult to address the professor as Fred or whatever. Now first names are used to such an extent that a good friend might not even know your surname.

Aslemma Mon 26-Jun-17 16:00:04

I always used to call the neighbours and mum's friends Auntie or Uncle, followed by their surname. My children's friends used to call me Auntie Pat, and some of them still do, thoigh they are now in their 50s. I admit I don't like being called by my first name by people I don't know me, and it absolutely infuriates me when cold-callers do it.

Purpledaffodil Mon 26-Jun-17 20:48:25

Even though I had many actual aunts and uncles, neighbours and close family friends were always Auntie or Uncle too. When DD lived in Barbados a few years ago, her friends there always called grown ups thus too. Being used to first names now from all, it felt odd to be called Auntie Purple by young girls in their twenties.

goldengirl Sat 01-Jul-17 11:43:26

My dentist who I've been seeing for donkey's years still calls me 'Mrs....' but wants me to call him by his first name! I've asked him to call me by my first name but he never has even though we've been through a heck of a lot of dentistry together. He is younger than I am so perhaps that's why. I've given up trying. He's the best dentist ever as far as I'm concerned and his staff are lovely too, so what's in a name?