Children calling adults by their first name.

Everybody seemed to be Auntie or Uncle when I was small, I never started it with my children and I think the DGC would find it odd, mind you they have a lot more real Aunties and Uncles than I did. I suppose it was respect in a more formal time.

In my post war childhood everyone who was"nt actually related to us was Mr or Mrs with the exception of unrelated Godparents who we would call Aunty/Uncle. Even when I had my own children it was still the norm for young children to use the Mr or Mrs title. Not sure when things changed but like a lot of things over the years life has become more informal and relaxed.

I'm 67, my sister is 69, and we always called adult family friends by first names. My sister and I agreed that our children wouldn't use "auntie" or "uncle" within our own family, either. It just seems perfectly natural to use first names and for us it doesn't indicate any disrespect. Each to their own on this one, I think.

I used to find it strange when my cousin, in her seventies, still called my mother...Auntie
L. However, our own adult children were horrified at the idea of calling us by Christian names, and I found it strange when I helped with beavers, and the children happily used my name, while the leader called me Mum

My mother (born 1890) didn't want to be called Granny so was called by her adopted Christian name. I also called her by first name as I did my father after I was married.I am granny and greatgranny.

I was the eldest of five & my mum always taught us to address all neighbours/adults by their surnames I.e Mr Smith or Mrs Smith - we just took it as normal - as we reached adults we still used to address those neighbours/Friends by their surnames - it was a habit and a few people used to find it quite funny lol. I believe it was that generation because today I would find it odd if a child addressed me by my surname - I much prefer being addressed by my first name by children. I am nanny Anne to my grandchildren which I love and would not want that to change at all!

I would love my Grandchildren to call me by my name, that is the real me. I have not morphed into someone else just because I have grown older and become a grandmother.
I called all my aunts and uncles by their christian names when I grew older and they did not mind. I was brought up old school but hated it. Must add I always had respect for relatives.

I encountered "uncle and aunty" as being my parents friends. From what I have heard that is still quite normal in some Asian communities as a term of respect to older relatives or parents friends.

GC's friends call me Grandma and my name. No problems with that at all. Like other posters I had lots of 'aunties' - not so many 'uncles' but generally I called my parents' friends Mr or Mrs - or their military title which was very popular in our area. When I started teaching at a new school we staff were encouraged to let the children call us by our first name - we soon put a stop to that!!! The Head wanted the staff to call him by his first name which we found very awkward at first. How times change!

I'm 50 and always called adults by their first names when I was younger. One of my DN's, he's 25, calls his DM & DD by their first names and I think that's fairly common these days.

We have 1 DGS one 5 years old and the other almost 4. The youngest will not call my husband grandad or any other term used for your parents parent. He calls me nanna and knows his aunts and uncles but he insists on call his grandad John. They are very close and we think that he sees them as best buddies, I think my husband is rather pleased that as the other GS is distant with him due to his autisum

I always insisted children of friends and family used my first name. My DCs call me Mum, and DGCs Granny or Grandma - coz I wear those badges with pride.

When I was a child I called all relatives Auntie or Uncle plus non related godmother. Others were Mr or Mrs until I was much older, then it was first names.

Interestingly my DGC called family members Auntie and Uncle, and for my DDs children friends' are Mummy (first name).

I did find it inappropriate for my elderly father to be called by his first name by nurses in hospitals, I still think this could be the case with older people. My mother was always Mrs F in her residential home. Sometimes I think it is appropriate to keep a little distance.

I think a level of formality and respect is a good thing and I would never have appoved of my children calling adults by their first names unless the adults invited it, which, largely they did amongst friends. Older men and wmen were always Mr and Mrs So and So.

I strongly deprecate the generation older than us being 'first named' by public sector workers. When my MIL was called by her first name by health and care workers uninvited I thought it hugely disrespectful.

My BIL called his parents by their first names and I thought it a symptom of something very odd in their family. My sister has caught the habit and after years of being 'mum' to her, my mother is now being called by her first name which is belittling and rude - and is clearly intended to be.

I see that some people who have posted above have airily dismissed the conventions. I would respectfully suggest that they can do this in their own case but in the case of others, particularly the old and vulnerable, to dismiss formal respect towards them is also to invite and encourage disrespect and ill treatment. Those who are given an inch often take a mile.

As for youngsters deserving more respect than adults I suggest this inversion of the natural order invites 'spoilt brat syndrome'. Babies, children and teenagers deserve protection,sustenance, education and kindness but they have not yet put anything into the human equation to deserve more respect than the adults who are giving them everything they have.That the ego of the young has been stoked by liberal upbringing is evidenced by the self-centred, narcisstic behaviour of the present snowflake generation who have grwn up with a sense of entitlement without having done a thing yet to deserve it.

I always encouraged my children to be polite and respectful to 'grown ups':- teachers, parents of frirnds, employers and so on and they are now both employed and well liked. Many adults have commented on how 'nice' they are as if this was a quality dropped from heaven when in fact it was sound early training and our instilling a respect for humanity outside themselves.

Because, in the end, that is what respect is, a recognition that we are not the centre of the universe and that others outside ourselves are human and deserve as much consideration as we pay ourselves.

When my daughter was at University, she brought loads of her friends home for tea (not to mention dinners, overnights and help with laundry!).
DD was lucky enough to be able to live at home, but many of her friends were far away from home and family.
Most of them called me 'Mummy', and ten years on they still do.
I am delighted and very flattered to have so many lovely 'adopted' children!

PS. lilyflower. I heartily agree with all you say - with occasional lapses allowed when appropriate.

I'm still of the old school and believe in the rule "familiarity breeds contempt".

And I've found it to be true.

When I my brother and I were children he got a right royal telling off from Mum for suddenly starting to address Dad by his Christian name.

Served him right!

(And the same rule applies to people using FaceBook referring to how many 'friends' they've accumulated - they surely mean 'acquaintances', because "friend" is a word I only reserve for people I personally know and have known for quite some time but a FaceBook contact is someone you know of but don;t really know at all.)

Sorry to get carried away pedantically......

I still recall, when I was a young teenager back in the year dot, being quite shocked the first time I heard my boyfriend call his mother Muriel. I'd never known anyone address both parents by their Christian names before, and to this day I don't really know why he did that. His younger sister and brother just called them Mum and Dad as normal.

We went on to marry and have children but divorced after 20-something years. Nowadays our granddaughters call us Grandma and Grandpa and their mum's parents Granny and Granddad, but all four grandparents' partners by their first names.

I've always let my kids call people by the name they want to be given so my sister was Aunty so and so whilst my brother just wanted to be called by his name only. We have 6 kids and 8 grandchildren and they vary what they call their aunts and uncles depending on what they want to be called. My eldest daughter gets offended if the parents don't teach them to call her Aunty whereas my other daughter doesn't care what they call her as long as the children are polite. I just go with the flow.
At my son's school it seems that most of the teachers are called by their surnames with the exception of some of the PE staff who get called by nicknames. As long as the staff maintain discipline, I don't see that as a problem either.

My parents were mom and dad, and we had nicknames for the grandparents but we called everyone else by their first names (aunts, uncles, parent's friends). Mr and Mrs were reserved fro people we didn't know that well. Then my children started having friends and I spent a good few years being Tina's mum, Teddy's mum and Andy's mum. It was getting seriously confusing! When they started secondary their friends evolved to calling me Mrs Lastname, except my last name is not the same and it felt really odd. Ever so slowly the best friends, the ones that were at the house often got used to -at my request- calling me by my first name. Oddly enough all the variations are still in use (cheeky childhood friends) and I still respond to all of them so I have 7 names!

My Aunt is 95. I am 78. I still call her 'Auntie ----'. I did try dropping the appendage at her suggestion but it just never came as naturally as the original. It's just my name for her: that's it. Nobody turns a hair when I use it. All fine. She is one terrific person.

I went to the big family 40th birthday party of my sons best friend from school a couple of weeks ago (as designated driver and GS minder). I hadn't seen Best Friend in years and it quite took me aback when he called me by my first name!

Very close friends were Auntie or Uncle- everyone else was Mt or Mes.
Thank heavens we have got over that now!
All my son's friends called me by my first name (until we moved to a house in Elizabeth's Walk when I instantly became Lizzie which is about as far from my real name as it is possible to be!)My DC's friends all call me by my first name or 'Toby's Grandma' etc. I am very happy with it- so much more friendly & natural.
MY pet hate is being addressed on an envelope by Mrs & then husband's initial before surname. I am not his flaming property!! I think my best friend does it to wind me up- it works!!

I, like many posters, adopted many friends of my parents as Aunties and Uncles and my friends parents were always Mr or Mrs (surname). My parents would also have told me off if I had used forenames and I suppose their attitudes have stuck with me. As a teacher we were told to insist the students called us by our titles and surname, but out of school, e.g. at church or the Girls Brigade company I helped with, I asked them to call me by my first name. As some of these were the same children it was only natural they got confused at times!
We became close friends with one of my daughters' primary school teachers, but my DDs still find it strange calling her by her first name- and they're in their 30's now!
I remember my mother being very annoyed when hospital staff called her by her first name and repeatedly corrected them. When my father was admitted with a stroke she was full off praise for a 'lovely' male nurse who addressed him as 'Sir'. Again a generational thing, but it made so much difference to them both at that difficult time that we was treated with respect.

I remember, when I first started teaching in the 1970s, one of the English teachers was just starting to teach his new A-level class for the first time, and said to them:"Well, now you are in the 6th form and almost adults, I think you should call me by my first name." The kids were very chuffed and said:"Ooh, yes, sir. What is your first name?" He replied:"Socrates!" You can imagine how the rest of the lesson went!

'he' not 'we' in the last line.