Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

Our bp's fine - we've all been on that thread already thank you

Ds worked as a bouncer (sorry, door steward) while he was at uni. He had a licence and one of those curly ear pieces.....will I see if he's available?

GERRA OUTTA MY PUB - YER ALL BARRED!

Wine please and quick with it barperson.

No scratchings thanks, I'm on a diet, need to save all my calories for

DH is good at breaking up fights although he is getting on a bit now and hasn't had much practice lately.
In fact, he is more likely to get into a verbal fisticuffs with me these days.

Do they serve cocktails in here, do you know?
ooh er, posh!!

He'd better buy some shin guards and stock up on ibuprofen Katek. GNs can be difficult customers and might give his legs a good kicking.

I like the idea of a politician dart board and can we have a fruit machine like the one on HIGNIFY?

Three Theresas in a row will lead to a rousing chorus of, 'Why was she born so beautiful, why was she born at all? She's no bloody use to anyone, She's no bloody use at all!'

Will there be a snug room for domino's, table top skittles, card games and cribbage? That could lead to a few fisticuffs.

Stand clear everyone - I have a dart in my hand, it could go anywhere

Better not have a dart board...(well, we could have a dart board, but no darts)

merlot that is so so naughty and spot on for the caff

This is the trouble, people bring their own!

Might be safer for 'some' people if there are only rubber headed darts. < menacing glower>

Sorry, sorry, sorry, don't know whose cat that was sneaking in but the dart just missed it - put it through the cat flap please.

Would that be for the rubber headed people?

No rubber headed people here

Ooh dead cat-that's one hundred and eighty!

Oi - you lot, I aint invisible you know...I can still see me feet under me belly. Darts aint allowed

I'm here Rigby if you're looking for someone to do battle with like. Although I'm not in much of a fighting mood today. I will draw the line at praising the queen mind you.

Did anyone hear the grand ole duke of York on the radio today . Seems he's an expert on everything European and the grass might be greener on the other side of the brexit field .

Actually only popped my head round the door cos I saw the skull . Just counting the seconds down to 7 o'clock and that much needed glass of plonk ( pre 7 o'clock alcohol means I will be asleep at 9 ) .

Never mind the door steward do we have an official barsteward?

Well that's the first glass down...

Could just eat something nice . Do you serve food here?

Only meat pies and mushy peas Gilly Pete's bar was very much a Northern institution. Pete, sadly missed,came from Chorlton cum Hardy.
If you have moved to the posh south what are we northeners supposed to do with our whippets while we imbibe?

Ah yes Ana, of course I remember Lil's bar, we were all drunk and it was very smutty!!! And I don't just mean with innuendo, do you remember that filthy old pair of knickers rag that she used as a bar towel?

Oh how I remember Lil's Bar, and then Pete's. I was very sorry to hear that he had died, he was a valued member of GN, and quite young, comparatively speaking.

I think someone on here posted this recently.
A woman walked into a bar.
What would you like asked the barman.
A double entendre please.
So he gave her one.