Argy-Bargy Cafe - enter at your peril ?

Naaah - that'd never work! No one would want Monday cos they'd be hungover, and there'd be some excuse every time from some of those flighty types...

Well, I do think that a rota is a very good idea and I would, naturally, offer to take my turn, of course I would. But I can't, I'm afraid. I have such delicate skin that the slightest whiff of carbolic and Izal toilet paper would damage my dermis. So no cleaning for me, I'm awfully sorry. Marydoll however is ever so good at cleaning and she has the thickest, toughest skin you've ever seen. And she has a very strong work ethic too and won't mind, not one little bit, if she has to do ALL the cleaning. Will you Marydoll ? Hmmm?

That's a done deal then, sorted - phew! Thanks *Chewbacca* Marydoll

Well, something must be done ! We can't doze off on sticky carpets anymore.
Get a team of cleaners in Anya and we will have a whip round tonight to pay for it.Could do with some new chairs as well, these old ones break so easily( over people's heads) and while you are at it, a coat of paint wouldn't go amiss.

Uh ih! You are living dangerously Chewy ....wait until Marydoll sees what you have volunteered her for.....there go the rest of the chairs!

But before it all kicks off....a pint of best bitter please.?

What a good bar manager you are Ana! Did I mention that roses is ever so good at shampooing carpets? She takes such care when she's doing them. Uses only her electric toothbrush and a bottle of Jeyes Fluid and voila! Carpets clean as a whistle! Why don't you ask insist her Ana?

Think I'll have a Tia Maria in a pint of Guinness pretty please.

Do you like hospital food Chewy ?

Well, this is the argybargy cafe/bar after all.

Wassup roses? Have I said something wrong? I only mentioned your dexterity with your toothbrush and Jeyes Fluid because you did such a good job of cleaning up after Gilbert got a little "over excited" on your shoes last night. it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't fallen down after your 13th pint of scrumpy.

Don't think we've got any carpets in here have we? Looks suspiciously like ancient spit and sawdust to me - perhaps we could get a whittler in to..er...supply some more sawdust?

No carpets Ana? Really? Well what have my feet been sticking to all weekend?
If it's sawdust you're looking for, I have some from when I clean out Gilbert's cage. Got mountains of it stacked up in the kitchen. Good condition too. He only piddles in it, nothing nasty the odd lump or two, but not a lot. Shall I bring it in?

Sounds as though it might be a bit smelly though. Why is it stacked up in your kitchen?

Dustbin men won't take it Ana.
Be nice to see it put to good use. And roses would be pleased too because she would only have to sift it, (probably a good idea to sift it and get any "lumpy bits" out) and spread it about a bit. Quicker than the toothbrush and Jeyes Fluid method, don't touch think?

My hens like a good scratch around in a bit o sawdust, I'll bring 'em in, nowt like fresh laid eggs

I'd be worried about those eggs during the lunchtime rush - people don't look where they're putting their hobnail boots when they're parched!

Don't worry Ana, Gideon, me ferret, likes eggs. He'll root 'em out for you. (Don't like 'im eating too many. They give him wind. Not pleasant in a warm pub.)

Is this your revenge Chewy for our little tiff yesterday? I'm so good at cleaning, because I'm always cleaning up after you and that pesky ferret! How would you know you have delicate skin? You have never cleaned anything in your life. I'm trying to argy bargy and be controversial, as I thought this is what you are supposed to do in this thread
Before I start, I'll have a cup of gin tea to prepare for what lies ahead. I suspect it's going to be a verrrry long night.

Why so cross Marydoll , I was only trying to help! Poor Ana was at her wits end with all the mess in here. I just thought that you and roses would be much better placed than me to deal with it. And, afterall, I've got Gideon to look after, haven't I? He's not been well today. Made a real mess in all that sawdust. Don't know how roses is going to sort it out really.

I'm not cross Chewy , I'm just tired. That cup of gin tea was too strong for my constitution. I'll have a wee lie down and then I'll look for Roses. I can't find her anywhere. Mmmmm, I wonder why?

Hello! just popped in, why is Gilbert now being called Gideon btw? The little pest darling keeps on having accidents doesn't he, can't he have a nappy?

Have had a couple of glasses of iced champagne tonight, so feeling quite mellow.

It's too hot in here....I like a roaring log fire as much as anyone, but donwe need it tonight I wonder?
I may have to take my coat off.

Time for a song!
Who knows Abdul Abulbul Amir? Now, it's a long time since I heard this , but used to have the sheet music for the piano for this song and all the words...
A splash in the black sea one dark moonless night....etc.Or was it called Ivan Skavinsky Skavar?

Somebody will know!

lyricsplayground.com/alpha/songs/a/abdulabulbulamir.shtml.
Your wish is my command. I must say, I have never heard of it.