The gift of a child V. the 'Gift' of a mobile phone.

I blame bl**dy Facebook ! The constant need for some people (probably mostly young women) to see what's going on and who is saying what, to whom? As if their life depended on being in the loop at all times. Pathetic.

Why don't you start a thread on Mumsnet? You could explain that the combined wisdom of Gransnet is that children are being neglected. Share the benefit of your wisdom. I'm sure that they would appreciate it. It's so sad, all these neglectful parent. And so many estranged grandparents. They could do a better job in raising their grandchildren. Why not do it?

That would be a brave person Chloret1. There are some on MN, not all, who are of the opinion that grandmothers should be seen and not heard I remember reading one poster over there, commenting that she was sick to death of retirees cluttering up the high street on Saturdays when they had all week to do their shopping. Ooh they can be savage at times

I bet that would go down like a lead balloon Chloret1

I get that your post was probably sarcastic, but still made me smile.

Can I be devil's advocate here? Don't know why I'm asking, I'm going to be anyway.

Just this: it's not clear how long the episode described in the OP was. Ten minutes, twenty minutes, half an hour? Something like that, I imagine. So a short period in a child's and mother's lives was observed. How do we know that the mother wasn't exhausted from the child's demands that day so far (we've all been there, haven't we?) and just needed some head space for herself for a little while? Perhaps she took him to the beach so he could play without pestering her. Who knows? Children can look sunburned when they are just hot.

I have seen the phenomenon of mothers apparently glued to their mobile phone screens while with, but not with IYSWIM, their child or children, but I wouldn't say it was true of most parents. My observations suggest it is the exception rather than the rule and, as others have already pointed out, there has always been poor parenting. In the past, kids were told to go and play outside. Admittedly they were often with other kids but they weren't supervised by or taken notice of by an adult all the time.

My own parents trusted my eldest brother and me to look after our three younger siblings when we were running about the fields near our home when brother would be eleven or twelve and I'd be a year younger than him.

I know, I know - sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! I do feel that this kind of post is quite generalist and unhelpful. I'm all for people working together. Everyone would be up in arms if Mumsnet said that everyone on Gransnet was old and doddery or whatever. There are some poor parents and some good parents and always have been. A snapshot view of someone's day doesn't really give enough information to decide. Either way, I don't think it is helpful to judge and a great shame to make snide comments about people not cooking and facebook. Plenty of older people on Facebook too - not just young women (probably - although no evidence is given to support this statement). Ageism goes both ways.

There has always been poor parenting, mediocre parenting, good parenting and now we have 'helicopter parents' too as well as 'tiger mothers'.

I do think that mobile phones probably distract parents from interacting with their children, but I remember years ago being upset by seeing mothers dragging their children along at top speed through shopping centres, poor kids hardly able to keep up and not being spoken to either.

The other day I heard a young mum talking and thought she was talking to me, so turned round to smile and acknowledge her but she was chatting to her baby who must have been about six months old, asking what she thought of something mum was going to buy . Baby was beaming away in her pram. I did speak to the mum and said that I used to chat away to my DC when they were very small and how nice it was to hear her talking to her baby.

rocketstop I think I would be concerned about the sunburn because there was that case of the mum who left her baby to burn when they were on the beach - baby had to be hospitalised.
But - do you say anything or not? difficult.

What's a helicopter parent Jalima1108?

How strange this topic should appear today - I was going to start a forum along similar lines. Most mornings I pass the local CoE primary school when the children are arriving and I walk along the route that many of them take. I am struck by the glum mothers with glum children. Often the mothers are berating the children, or they are on mobile phones or are listening to music. There rarely seems any positive interaction between mothers and their children. I feel so sorry for the children and indeed for their mothers. What a start to the day.

What's a helicopter parent

My interpretation would be: one who constantly hovers over their DC, arranging every minute of their social life, extra-curricular activities etc and not giving them time to be themselves or learn to play on their own.

Oh I see. Thank you Jalima I was worried I might be one but I'm not and never have been. Pheww.

What worries me is the mums who push their buggies out into the road without looking to see if there is any danger for their children because they are glued to their mobile phones. A few days ago a mum almost lost her baby because she did that, and then had the cheek to yell a lot of filthy abuse at the driver who had managed to swerve his car and miss the child.

And how many times have I spoken to my children only to be ignored because they are glued to their phones!!!!!!!

On the occasion that you describe the mother may have genuinely had to be engrossed in her phone conversation due to it being a work call or one of genuine importance. This is the first generation to have the benefits of having a mobile phone glued their person 24/7 and they bring genuine advantages alongside the disadvantages.
To help children who have little family encouragement or support nurseries now give them free places from the age of 2 to try to minimise the disadvantage that some children encounter. It's very often a sad, difficult and unfair world.

I sometimes feel guilty because I didn't 'hover' enough but they have all grown up to be independent!

I have never been a "hoverer" either Jalima more like a hooverer !

Constantly trying to pick up the pieces.

I must remember that one!!

I hate to see this we pick our gd up one day a week and she is full of what she as been doing she doesn't shut up and I love it wish these people would realise what they are missing most phone call or texts are that important

I see it everywhere. Have even seen my youngest do this. Her youngest, aged two, has learnt to throw something at her....bright lad...hahaha. Luckily he has three wonderful older siblings who are not tied their mobile phones

Oh dear, Mumsnet has just linked to this thread!

Oh God, run for the hills!

Speaking as one who spent many a bored hour making sandcastles on her own on holiday while her parents lay back in their deckchairs dozing or reading the papers, I'd say there's nothing new under the sun. In my experience my DC devote much more of their time and attention to their own children than my DP did, and they weren't bad parents by any means. I of course was a very attentive and hands-on mum . I did love a playpen though.

It is a pity that play pens are out of fashion these days. Bringing back reigns would be a good idea too. It might have been ok to let children run wild across the fields and come in for meals once, but this day and age it is dangerous not just because they could fall in rivers but because they might go out and never be seen ever again. No-one would know where they had gone until their body turned up, if it ever did! Yes, I am talking about wierdos who think it is ok to enjoy sex with little children. Sick, maniacs who do not care what pain they give to others. Keep children safe and close I say.

My Mother never used to see us except for meal times. We were swinging on ropes from trees or playing hide and seek in the woods, or having picnics in the fields, we even walked to school and back. It was common, everyone used to do it. That was then, the 60s. No way would I let my children do that, and they certainly do not allow theirs to do it either. Also, there is much more traffic about these days so allowing them to run or play on pavements is dangerous too.

Esspee How do you know Mumsnet has linked to this thread? If they have, GOOD! Maybe they will realise how dangerous it is to give more attention to the mobile phone than it is to their little children.

No-one is expecting anyone to be the perfect parent, just one who has a bit of common sense.