Baby Showers

Why don't you take a homemade cake and keep your gift for after the birth of the baby. A friend held one for my first daughter's baby and I didn't go as I really don't agree with them (mainly in case the baby isn't born alive!. She asked if the second party could be at my house as her sister was organising it so, as I was buying her loads anyway, I gave her one thing up front. All the guests bought a food contribution- some bought gifts, others kept them for later.

My daughter was persuaded to have one by her mil. My older daughter and I had never been to one and went along with gifts costing under a fiver. Her mil's family all arrived with high value gifts, and swamped the room with large toys and equipment. We felt very awkward. Saying that, I still wouldn't spend more than ten pounds as I think the whole thing is ridiculous. Footnote to this is that my daughter went into premature labour at the baby shower at 31 weeks and the twins arrived two days later. They were very poorly and we didn't know if they would both survive. Meanwhile all these gifts were sitting there. They are five and at school now luckily.

I held one for my sister, sadly her baby passed away, and I always think it was nice that she got to celebrate her baby and receive little gifts and best wishes.

My DH's nephew and wife first invited us to their wedding (OK) and asked for money instead of gifts (not ok). Then it was a baby shower, then a birth, then a christening, and no doubt there will be more. It's nice to keep up with family, but some of us cannot keep buying gifts!

My friend was persuaded to hold baby shower for her DIL who was always dead against such things.........however all went well and was enjoyed.

I think the key is the simple gifting and not allowing it to be a greedfest (is that a word?) I am not an appreciator of American style OTT things, and how the Prom has made the leaver's disco into an expensive production, but we can keep things modest if we wish.

I never have anything negative to say about tea and cake, I don't even try.

Perhaps take a token gift - could be a cutlery set for when the child is older and save the quilt for the birth. Otherwise just give the quilt

My initial response to the idea of baby showers was negative. Since then, my own children have had them, as have several of their friends. I went to the first with trepidation but enjoyed it a lot. A gathering of long term female friends, a collection of sandwiches, cakes, soft drinks, cups of tea (and occasionally a bit of fizz - never consumed by the mother to be). The gifts were much appreciated and were largely practical items, nappies, towels, baby grows etc. I'd save the play mat until the baby arrives and just take a small gift - I took something for the mum to be, moisturiser etc.

DD2'S Mil is Zimbabwean and was the initiator of the first one I went to. It was, as I said upthread, a gentle afternoon tea with everyone bringing their favourite book for the baby.

"Baby showers" have been around in South Africa since the 1970s or before, when I had my children. They are usually arranged by a close friend of the mum-to-be for first babies, and the aim is to stock up with necessities, baby oil, perhaps a pack of nappies etcetera.

It's a lovely idea when it stays true to the original intention, a group of women getting together to support the new mum. I went to one here recently, where someone (who hadn't been to one before) described it as "tribal" .

I've been to a few. . An afternoon tea or a small buffet. A couple of games . The gifts were mainly small things like bibs, nappies, muslins and sleep suits. Good fun and a very pleasant afternoon .

Never heard of a grabby expensive one in UK just friendly and fun - tea, cakes and small useful things like nappies, wipes, sudocreme, games and funny stories.

I think you will have a lovely time. I've only been to a couple but both were very enjoyable. Just a small number of close friends and family, mostly something to eat along the lines of afternoon tea and, yes, maybe the odd silly game. I would save your playmat for when the baby arrives and just take a little something

I think the name comes from the idea of showering the mother-to-be with gifts. I've only ever been to an American one, almost 40 years ago.

Sometimes they are combined with a 'reveal' party when the expectant parents tell the guests whether it's a boy or a girl.

Marks and Spencer do baby reveal cakes. My grandfather's saying about fools and their money comes to mind! www.marksandspencer.com/baby-bottle-blue-cake-pre-order-available-from-15th-february-2017-/p/p60095190?prevPage=plp

I agree with kitty and Norah. Maybe the 'grabbiness' depends on the mother to be concerned? That certainly wasn't the case with DD.

Not at all grabby, just tea and a chance to get together.

They are not all 'grabby' River, the ones organised for my two youngest DDs were very simple and understated.

According to my US friends grannypiper they were originally a way for a group of friends to get together and help the mother-to-be with the expense of a new baby by bringing a small gift of baby essentials e.g. clothes, blankets etc.

Obviously things have since moved on - I read that some expectant mothers now hold their own 'shower' and send out a gift list, along the lines of a wedding list!

Like a lot of simple traditions e.g. birthday teas and party bags they've become a bit 'grabby' and commercial.

What is the point of these and what on earth does the shower part even mean ?

My 2 younger DDs have had showers and attended showers as have my elder DDs daughters. It seems as if it's just an excuse to have tea and sweets. The gifts have typically been small and inexpensive, nothing fancy like a special made play mat.

I knit little hats for babies, that is my gifty, generally. I went to a lovely shower where the gift scheme was disposable nappies, quite strange but well received.

Two of my DDs have had them - organised by friends too. Afternoon tea was served - tiny sandwiches, fairy cakes and scones etc, all served on pretty china. There was a theme for presents - one daughter's theme was 'Bring your favourite children's book' which were then all run past the organiser so the poor child didn't end up with a dozen Hungry Caterpillars. Gentle daft games were also played.

DD had one for her first baby. Her friend organised it. People brought small useful presents and we played daft games like putting a nappy on a teddy while blindfolded. The quickest and neatest won. It was a pleasant relaxed afternoon. Old hands shared stories about their own deliveries (ladies only session!). DD asked questions and general top tips were shared. It was a nice little tea party with lovely treats to eat.

I think that, maybe, you are supposed to bring a gift for the mother-to-be too but never been to one. Just listened to my daughters talking about ones they had been to.

Really glad I haven't been to one if games are on the agenda

Never been to one but understand from those who hae that gifts are usually small and the event very relaxed, often with some daft games. Could you ask someone close to your great niece? Whoever is arranging the shower? I am sure they could reassure and guide you, better than worrying.

I think you should keep the play at until the baby arrives. My daughter has been/had baby showers and the gifts have been things like babygros, vests, socks ... just small things.
Might be different for other people though!!!