Birthdays

Womble54: Petitions closes on 3rd May, how else can we bring this to public awareness?

Please jump to around 16:45 to visit a recent debate:

www.parliamentlive.tv/.../ad224c6e-453d-4e97-a538…

Thanks
Annie Suzie

I'm so upset for Lorraine - the petitions has to close on 3rd May for the General Election after all our hard work campaigning for people to sign.

Happy birthday Mags my mum and dad both died 2012 I still have the last birthday card my dad gave me two weeks before he died it's in a picture frame on my bedroom wall Mum had Alzheimer's so dad had done the cards for the last seven years his writing was the same all through his life it never wobbled I miss them both so much

Happy birthday, mags - I am sorry for your sadness - but do be happy that you had such good parents.
For various reasons I have some ambivalent feelings about both my late parents - but it was good to read your message and all the posts nevertheless.They have all touched a deep chord in me. I have myself recently wondered why, now I am getting older, I seem to grieve for/miss my grandparents and great aunts so much. I think it must have something to do with the acceptance and unconditional love I was fortunate enough to experience in my youth from all of them.
With any luck, I may be able to hand on that particular torch to a few others before it is my turn to go.I'm sure you will have no problems doing this yourself!

Happy birthday mags I'm sorry your birthday is tinged with loss. My own mother died on 13 April 1977 so almost 40 years ago. I grieved terribly for a very long time but I've sort of come to terms with it now. It's made me grateful that I've had many more years than she had. Even now I've had almost 20 years longer than my mum. I've watched my grandchildren grow. Each and everyone will carry memories of me into the future. I feel sad that she didn't live long enough for that. I'm really grateful for the life she gave me and the sacrifices she made. I owe it to her to live life to the full. I remember her on her birthday and the anniversary of her death. I miss my recently departed MiL though. Mother's Day was hard and I expect her birthday will be difficult. Bereavement is very hard to bear and I think it's normal for us to have days when we feel sad no matter how long after their deaths. It the price we pay for love. In a way it's worth it.

Never a day goes by

Happy birthday ??Hope you had a lovely day. I lost my father when I was 15 and miss him all the time. Great memories though, mine forever x

Happy Birthday mags ???

My mother died nearly 4 years ago, mothers day is always hard and still if I hear of something interesting etc - I think of calling my mum.

Yes Mags, I think we all miss our parents. My mother died 32 years ago and my father 20 years ago, there isn't a week goes by where I don't think about them. Strangely I always think of them individually, never together, even though they were very close.

Happy Birthday ! Everyone has said it here. Nothing like a birthday to bring loss into focus. Those cards in the shops on Mother's Day, Father's day etc

Nearly 40 years for me and the loss seems as vivid today as it was then.

I had a terrible relationship with my mother, and although I still feel very angry about some of the things she did – and didn’t do – the older I get, the more I understand where she was coming from, and what she had to put up with. Probably this kind of empathy only develops with age and experience.

I hope readers will bear with me therefore if I digress to a related issue. What if you’d fallen out with your parents, cut off all contact with them, and they'd died before you’d ever had a chance to patch things up? What if, for example, you’d stopped them from having contact with their grandchildren, and they had never seen them again? Sadly this happens all too often, and I can imagine in later life this being a source of enormous regret for many people. What about when the grandchildren grow up and perhaps find out what has happened? Will they blame the parents, even perhaps in their turn breaking contact with them also, for depriving them of the grandparents they loved?

Sadly, this scenario is all too common. It may come as a shock to many, but in the UK grandparents have no automatic rights of contact with their grandchildren, and if the relationship between the parents breaks down, often one set of grandparents is cut off altogether. The only recourse then for the grandparents, often in failing health, is costly and stressful legal action through the courts, which is beyond the means of many grandparents and has no guarantee of success.

However, following a Parliamentary Lobby Day on 31st January, a national petition, started by Lorraine Bushell from the Hendon Grandparents’ Group, has been launched on the Petition Parliament website. This petition aims to obtain the 100,000 signatures required for the issue to be considered for a parliamentary debate on the right of children to have an ongoing relationship with their grandparents. The link is: -

petition.parliament.uk/petitions/188381

A related issue is that on 28th March Suella Fernandez MP for Fareham presented a bill to Parliament calling for the Government to reform family justice, amongst other things urging enforcement of Child Arrangement Orders, the issue of parental alienation, and children being taken into care for poorly argued reasons. The Bill will receive its second reading on 12th May.

We hope for as many signatures for the petition as possible. After all, not only grandparents and potential grandparents are affected by this problem but anyone who has or has ever had a beloved grandparent, and many of us know from our own experience what a vital and priceless contribution grandparents have to make.

My mothe died suddenly when I was 19 by which time I was doing my nurses training so was sort of independent. My father was a lovely man but having been in the Navy for many years looked after himself and eventually remarried. My husband is not English and had no family in the U.K so we have always looked after one another and our daughter. Babysitters had to be paid and I belonged to a baby sitting circle. .I often thought about what I was missing not having a mum around but was sometimes grateful for no in law problems especially when you read some gransnet posts.

But Mags your post has really made me think. I always remember my childhood birthdays but then it stops. I can't imagine a Mum coming on an adult birthday. Sad but I am so pleased you have such good memories. I would never forget my own grown up daughters birthday so I can understand how important it was to your Mum

My lovely darling mum died in jan 1998 .So next year will be 20 years.I cant believe it!
I have never loved anyone more in my life , than her .I think of her every day , and although i new it was coming, , i do think a bit of me died with her .I have 2 sons and 3 grandsons .A lovely husband .My dad i never miss .But he was a horror and an alchololic !
We had a terrible childhood.Through it all my lovely, brave and ladylike mum was the stalwart of my existance .Id give my right arm just to have her back for 10 minutes.
To add insult to injury, i lost my only sis to colon cancer in 2012.
Life can be so cruel.She too had a terrible hard life.
Then she was gone at 55 yrs of age .I myself am 56 yrs old now.

Looking at all these post brings tears to my eyes. Maybe we never get over loosing our mums and dads if we had a lovely relationship with them. I think of my mum every single day and she is with me in the most unexpected ways sometimes. My dad not so much i have to admit as he died when i was in my early thirties but my mum was with me till my late fifties and i looked after her in her later years. I loved her with all my heart and still wish she was here. She was my best friend as well as my mum.

Meant to say couldn't grieve for her age above. Should have previewed it

Happy birthday to you. I still miss my Mom who died 6 years ago. She was 85 and I couldn't and didn't grieve for her she as she had a long life. I do grieve for the Mom I still miss. Sometimes are harder than others still. I found myself in a card shop last year at Mothers day howling over a cushion last year. Not the cards or anything. It was a cushion with "home is where Mom is" It was a shock to me as well as others around me. It's my Mom I miss. Not my Dad but he is another story I won't go into

Happy birthday Mags. I think it's reasonable to miss your parents on your birthday, no matter how 'grown-up' you are. I still miss mine and they both died 2 and a bit years ago. Actually as time goes on, I miss them more than I did in the immediate aftermath of their deaths. I keep thinking "What would mum have thought?" when I either achieve (or more likely, fail at) something.

Have a lovely day and treasure your memories.

Sufjansgranny ... Oh how I, too. Wish it had been able to ask questions, and like you, there's no-one left to answer them now!
I was 14 when my lovely mum died suddenly and to be honest, I've never really got over the shock. I miss her dreadfully ... Last Mother's Day I was talking to her picture wishing she was here for me to fuss over... So, yes, I know exactly what the OP feels.

Happy Birthday to you .Your post reduced me to tears , my mum died 7 years ago and i miss her more and more .I hate the fact that I cannot talk to her and still can't believe I will never see her lovey face again.Although I have a lovely family I don't really enjoy celebrating anything without her it just all seems a bit pointless!

I seem to think of them more and more. "What would my mother have done in this situation?" How much my father would have enjoyed using Skype to speak to my sister who emigrated to Australia in the 50's. It's endless. My father's been gone 50 years and my mother 31. You'd think I'd be over it all by now but there they both are, at my elbow.

Happy birthday Mags . Hope you enjoy your day

Happy birthday.. I know how you feel. My dad died when I was 18 - many moons ago and I was devastated when my mum died a few years back. I have a lovely family, great friends and a very good life but I think of her often and miss her all the time. Nothing prepares you for the loss of your mum - the unconditional love and care. To those of you who are lucky enough to still have your mothers in your life - don't put off making phone calls and visits (so easy to do when you are busy). To everyone - Happy Easter - can we all hope for a peaceful one.

I agree, and it's so surprising that the longing intensifies over time?? Often think of all the questions I should have asked them, but didn't and now there's not a soul left to answer...

Happy Birthday! {flowers} I miss my parents every day and I think it says a lot about the security and love we felt within our families.I say goodnight to their photo and remember the happy times.