What is the best way to start new Social Activities

Think about what your interests are or perhaps a hobby you would like to take up that you haven't had time to do before. Then join an appropriate group. Walking groups can be good as it's a no pressure way to get to know people. You've done so much for your family, now it's your turn to have a bit of fun.

radicalnan you write

i want to be out dancing on tables in the wee small hours, engaging in debates with existentialists, have artists begging me to be their muse / model..........shot dead in bed by a jealous lover

Alas all the stuff on offer is interest based, forced and pedestrian as far as I am concerned..

That made me

The trouble with most of these suggestions upthread is that they involve mixing with other old people and frankly that fills me with horror.

Since I moved away 10 years ago to be near my GC I've not made any new friends my own age in RL.. But I have new friends in my neighbours, my 'children's' friends and the odd (the odder the better IMO) mum and dad at the school gate.

I agree very much with radicalnan about 'the stuff on offer' and I'd suggest you look at the people around you already perhaps?

There are MeetUp groups all over the country. Google MeetUp, put in your interests and distance you are willing to travel and you will be sent information about MeetUps in your area. I am 66 and I often go on them...anything from cinema to restaurant. sometimes just walks. Lots of choice. Oh I even learnt ballroom dancing...hhaha Worth looking into

Flossieturner I see there are lots of ideas for activities here. When I as a bit stuck because two of my close friends had died and I realized that I now had no one who lived nearby who shared activities with me on a regular basis I thought about what were their characteristics etc. In summary they were people who lived alone and who dove their own cars etc. I then looked at the U3A groups I was attending like photography, painting etc and as I chatted in the coffee time made sure that if the person seemed to meet this profile I continued to chat and arranged to exchange emails or telephone numbers so that I could follow up with a supportive comment or a piece of information etc. This has helped me gain a wider circle.

you may be interested in the rules of friends ship;
The Rules of Friendship:

• Friends should be loyal in both good times and bad.

• Friends respect the person and not the position or title.

• Friends keep their word and do what they say they will do.

• Friends do not talk bad about their friends.

• Friends should be honest and not critical.

• Friends will consider your point-of-view before trying to get you to
see theirs.

• Friends offer help without expecting anything in return.

• Friends do not encourage you to violate your morals and principles.

• Friends tell their own friends how much they value their friendship.

friends.com/rules-of-friendship

Ive tried a few free courses which haven't worked out that well for various reasons, so I have been really disappointed with that. OH and I tried our local U3A but everyone seemed 'old'. I would like to try WI but feel at bit shy going alone. I cant get myself into a hobby and did think of volunteering, but a couple of weeks ago in our local PO I saw an ad for a reception job for a few hours, it intrigued me as it was just a phone number and no address details, the ad was still there last week, so I phoned about it, had a chat, seems suitable and I am popping in this afternoon to discuss further. I am hoping that it will be a bit of interaction with people, meeting new people, a break in my routine and a bit of spendoosies.

I can't see why there is such prejudice about the idea of mixing with older people - I have always been happy to make friends with people significantly older - and younger - than me.

If a young person had come on this thread and said they were horrified at the thought of engaging socially with older people, I think many people would be appalled. Why is it then OK for older people to make a similar remark?

Eloethan, if your comment is directed at me then in reply, I would like to point out that they were as 'old' as me, but I am just not interested in going on a bus pass trip (I dont get my bus pass for another 5 years), nor do I want to make greetings cards, or knit and natter. So please dont generalise, this particular U3A does not have anything to offer which interests me at the moment. If your comment is not directed at me, then please ignore.

There might be a Gransnet Local meet up in your area- have a look at your local site. If there's nothing arranged you could ask on these general forums if anybody fancies meeting. I'm trying to get a meet up in our area (northwest England - wirrral and Liverpool). If you anywhere near you are welcome to come when we finally sort it.

Hi, I know you have had loads of replies but just to say I moved from Cornwall to Warrington to help out my daughter who has ME/CFS and two young children.
I have joined Meet up Groups, looked into the U3A, am going to try a WI group nearby. The first thing I did when I moved in the Autumn was go to a book group in the library. Interestingly one thing leads to another as people tell you about things they go to.
There seem to be loads of knitting groups in churches. I was going to a lovely one in a cafe but sadly the cafe closed
I also go to yoga once a week and after a while have got to know people there.
But something no one else has mentioned which I really enjoyed was the Warrington Health walks. They have them in most places. I went on some when I was in Sussex. They vary in length and difficulty but I just go for the hour one which is really nice and an easy way to chat to people and explore places you might not otherwise go.
Anyway good luck. You seem to have attracted lots of helpful suggestions

katey it wasn't "directed" at you - I was disagreeing with the notion that older people were not good company - and other people, apart from you, had expressed a similar view.

I believe it is actually you who is generalising as to what older people's interests are. The older people I know all have diverse interests and different tastes in music, dance, etc.

There are no doubt many people on here who do not conform to the stereotype of an elderly person. It is a bit presumptuous of some to assume that they are the only ones who have interests, dreams and aspirations that do not include knitting, bingo, etc.

Nothing wrong with some old people. But who wants to be involved in 'social activities' with only the elderly.

Community choirs are often mixed age and an opportunity to let one's hair down.
Have we suggested dance classes - maybe Salsa? Burlesque?
Writer's groups are mixed age.
Politics offers many opportunities to take a risk and exhibit your personality and meet all ages as equals.
Toastmaster's is all age and trains people to make speeches.
Join a local samba band - you don't have to have any musical knowledge or skill, just a sense of rhythm. Again they are all age.
In the gym I used to go to there was a very jolly aquarobics group. (they were admittedly of a certain age) But exercise classes are a low key way of meeting people without forced socialising.
In the last 3 years I have made friends with people from age 20 to 80.

Trouble is Jess during the day it's mainly the retired who have the time to take part, so you have to be prepared to go out and about after working hours.

Yup this is true. Weekends and evenings.
Daytime things I do that are mixed age - a language class and NT gardening.

New friends I have made via local WI (evening group) most are 10+ yrs younger than me as well as others similar age. We meet up regularly for our own jaunts and jollity: latest is bellydancing!

If a young person had come on this thread and said they were horrified at the thought of engaging socially with older people, I think many people would be appalled. Why is it then OK for older people to make a similar remark?

I think the point is that people don't want to be shoe-horned into social groups that are based on having the same age , as opposed to finding a good fit with people of all ages who have the same interests

This thread has made me see how very different our experiences can be, and how much organisations vary. When I needed to make a fresh start 3 years ago after a major, life-changing event, I took my courage in both hands and tried all sorts of things. I am a reasonably confident, outgoing, smiley Northerner. Without exception, the large organisations were the worst, least friendly, least welcoming. I was astonished at the narrow, racist views I found in U3A (I know, I know, many people have great experiences); the WI and TG seemed to be full of 'You can't sit there' etc. The Ramblers were rather standoffish. I was constantly reminded of one of my grandchildren's advice : 'There are young old people and old old people; don't hang out with the old old people.'(I'm 75). I eventually found several smaller groups; a small choir, and even smaller singing group, a small exercise class, a Walking for Health group and a book group which meets in a cafe rather than peoples' homes, which I think makes it less cliquey. I discovered several people in these groups love the cinema, like me, and are glad to come along when I suggest a film. I would like to ask all GNs who belong to any organisation to reflect on how welcoming it is to newcomers, especially bearing in mind the effort it might cost someone to enter a roomful of strangers. My rule of thumb now is, if I'm not met with an answering smile, I turn round and leave. I send every lonely person a hug.

Interesting. TyneAngel - just goes to show that you sometimes need to shop around to find a good fit.
Some voluntary groups can be very poor at welcoming newcomers. I remember someone telling me that he and his wife had left a small town in the Chilterns to move nearer to their grandchildren who lived in a city. They had been active church members and tried quite a few parish churches in all of which they felt unwelcome!!!
I asked an older friend (her second husband died early last year) which church she now goes to ( the one her husband liked or the one she went to before they married). Apparently she alternates between two. A good idea as she keeps in touch with two sets of people that way.

In my experience it is not the age of people that matter but attitude. There are "old" 30 yr olds and "young" 90 yr olds!

Get a puppy!

Very good suggestion Hm999 - I have made lots of friends walking my dog in the local park. Try and go the same time each day so you tend to meet the same people.

I went for French conversation as the building was a rebuilt prison and I wanted to experience it from the inside. I found myself in a really good mixed ages, mixed sexes course.
We laugh a lot and there is such a warm feeling there, I look forward to it every week. I am the oldest but some of the others are retired and 3 are in their 50s and working.

I have taught more courses in English than I can remember how many and it was seldom that the group really clicked, but it does happen.

I think courses are a great way of meeting people and finding "you" again. Some Adult Education classes run short taster courses so you can try a few different options before committing. And U3A have lots of interesting courses. Good luck Flossieturner, i hope you have fun and meet some nice people.