Are you allowed to divorce your son? :-)

My son and I have spent half of his adult life not speaking because he speaks his mind frequently but cannot take any kind of criticism. Always me that offers the olive branch because he is never at fault. I blame myself because he was indulged growing up but maintains his sister was treated better than him. He is 48, single father of 1 acts like a petulant teenager. I will get a card and a present but I would rather have respect, a hug and not be made to feel I don't matter.

Well he's doing better than my 40 yr old son, who most times doesn't even remember to phone or text. I am afraid it's a lottery whose genes create their brains (and that's quite apart from any upbringing errors we might make), and we don't often get exactly the child we would have liked. But still unless he is actually attacking your or stealing from you it's probably better to have the relationship than not have it at all.

Wow that takes some meanness not even a card,

I totally agree all these occasions get runed by commercial hype.

My ds never forgets since his sister cutmus off.

I did just ask for nice card as he moving in June they need every penny but he ignored me and flowers due Sunday deep down I am pleased!
However my dh is kind and thoughtful so reckon he gets it from him,

My ed was wonderful tooo never forgot ever and always made supreme effort once coming home from uninas suprise ?. Wonder if she thinks of me now?

I could have written this post! For Christmas I received from DS a power washer (which I have always maintained shifts the moss/muck/weeds to another place where it grows more strongly). Yes DS built the patio (2 years ago) but never finished it by sealing, leveling the lawn etc etc.

Today (Friday) I received flowers for Mother's Day which I struggle to place because his children live here part of the week and all surfaces and floor is covered with their 'stuff'! I also received a bottle of Baileys ( I am trying to cut down on alcohol). Why today? He has football tomorrow and wants to play golf on Sunday! Sorry but yes he is just like his father (my ex for obvious reasons!)

Maybe other two DSs will oblige. Oh no! One of them is playing golf with his brother!

By the way I do think Mother's Day is a rip off commercially but I would love a genuine gesture.

Being free of all expectation is truly liberating. If your son is a kind, considerate son most of the time, I'm guessing your post is tongue in cheek. If he's not like this and his role of son leaves a lot to be desired, I'd snip the umbilical and start breeding a harvest elsewhere. By harvest I mean, sowing seeds of good into a pot where others really feel your input. All us mothers want is to be able to nurture and care with the smallest of satisfaction that we did a good job coming back to us.

No, you don't need a note from an adult son but if he wanted to show his appreciation without buying a card, that's one way it could be done. I can't think that it is ever wrong to make a kind gesture.

My son sent a card and some posh biscuits-eaten them already!

I love the homemade cards made with odds and ends and lots of glitter made by my DD she is after all only 30 years old. Sons will not even know it is Mothers day unless DD reminds them but i do keep cards that they made when the were little and still put them up as its the only chance of a card from them. I insist on a joint mothers day/Birthday flowers and present as 2 lots i one month is too expensive.
yggdrasil inform your DS that this year you have cancelled his Birthday and Christmas is on hold.

Do you really need a little note to tell you they love you at 42, Suedomin???
At least he remembered to ring and tell you what he was doing and didn't just leave you to wonder why you didn't get one, I agree it's just more commercialisation and not that many men are good at buying cards and little trinkets I wouldn't sweat over it at all

I agree with Bibbity, sauce for the goose etc.
Just read an article about some very vulgar Mothers Day cards on sale, I would rather have none than one of those.
I like your Mother's attitude Fitzy, that's a lady who knows her mind.

Failing that is inform him that you've taken a leaf out of his book and believe that birthdays and Christmas are over hyped commercialism and so won't bother getting him anything
Bibbity

Yes, phone him and tell him you always think of him on his birthday and it's the thought that counts.

Mother's Day is an American invention, thought up by Hallmark cards.

Mothering Sunday is an old tradition and falls on the 4th Sunday in Lent and originated when people went back to worship in their 'mother church' which probably meant that children who were working in services went home and saw their own mothers at the same time. Children would pick flowers as they went along and present them to their mothers.
I think Simnel cake was originally eaten on Mothering Sunday and not at Easter - named after Simon and Nell who were making a cake for their mother and couldn't agree on how it should be baked, that is why it is divided in the middle by marzipan. Other people claim that it was named after Lambert Simnel or that it came from the Latin name for white flour (simila).

yggdrasil tell him he's a grump and do whatever makes you happy on Sunday .

Like Christmas and Easter, mothers day has been seized on by commercial enterprises of all sorts. Genuine thoughtfulness is what matters rather than shop bought cards or tacky gifts. Its just nice to know your children care and appreciate you.

Nice one Bibbity

Happy Mothers Day Op.
I think a divorce is needed
Failing that is inform him that you've taken a leaf out of his book and believe that birthdays and Christmas are over hyped commercialism and so won't bother getting him anything. And that the phone call covers you for the next 6 years.

mine always buy cards and presents even though I tell them not to waste their hard earned cash .If I want or need anything I'm happy to get it myself and that goes for christmas too.I see my kids almost daily ,my son will pop in on his way home from work sometimes near midnight for a chat with his dad and me and my daughter although she has terrible health issues never fails to keep in touch either on her way to and from hospital appointments ,by phone and FB messenger .Thats far better than them wasting money on flowers that are extortionate at these days or presents I dont need .

Mothering Sunday isn't a commercial invention, it's an old religious rite when people went back to their Mother Church, and often it was the only time of year when the entire family could get together.

I think I'd have said to your son that it isn't about him, yggdrasil, it's about you! A card isn't essential, a hand written note expressing his love would have been as welcome, I'm sure.

My DSs are good to me and always remember MD, though I am usually a bit hazy about when it happens! A lovely package of flowers arrived this morning from DS2 and family; and yesterday a gift card from DS1. DiL1 lost her mum a year ago so it's a poignant time for her. I know he will take good care of her tomorrow.
I may have divorced their father, but wouldn't be without my DSs.

My boys rarely remember.

Mother's Day in America is the same as in Germany (some time in May) My DS No 1 (lives in the US) sent me some flowers once, but didn't write on it who they were from. I sent an SMS to all three thanking them - to shame the other two, whoever they were, but with a ;-)

I sent my mother some flowers (cut ones!) for the middle of this week, so as not to overburden the delivery services with Mother's Day deliveries. She thanked me as soon as we started speaking on the phone, which is quite good for her, forgetful as she is. She thanked me a couple more times during the phone call ("Did I thank you for the lovely flowers?").

I chose irises. Because her name's Iris.

Same here - daughter remembers, sons - sometimes.

gillybob: he is 42, married , no kids, lives 3 counties away
grannyknot: yes I did put a smiley, so I wasn't that serious, but it annoyed me enough to make this thread.
Now I shall go open the chocolates I got from my daughter & the grandkids :-)

I do not think I have ever had a present on Mother's Day. DD always remembers a very carefully chosen card. DS sometimes remembers, sometimes doesn't. He is my DS and I know he loves me so I am unbothered.

I totally agree with you polyester57. My DS and DD both live abroad and never realise that it is Mother's Day here. It does not bother me one jot. I am in contact with DD frequently and DS as and when necessary but after all he is a male !!

My best mothers day was when my son made a huge effort to come round and make me a special meal. He'd had to get up very very early to get the shopping (which he could ill afford) and get to my place on time. He then made a lovely treat meal with all my favourite things. We had a great chat and then he cleared it all up.
Commercialised stuff doesn't hold a candle to genuine thoughtfulness.

Conversation I had with my mother as I pushed her wheelchair around the supermarket yesterday:
Her: "isn't it Mother's Day soon?"
Me: "it's this Sunday."
Her: "Right. Well don't buy me flowers again. They don't last. I'll have a nice houseplant."
Short and to the point I thought! :-)