Are You Hugger ?

A pet hate for me is the two-cheek kissing in social or even worse professional situations. If women really want to be considered equal we should avoid men who bear down on us with their mouths and shake their hand instead. we have been bullied into this behaviour as if socially essential - let's stand up for ourselves. I always think it spreads colds too.

How do you avoid of a hug? When someone you are not particularly fond of, approaches you with arms outstretched, what do you do? I always think, oh gawd here we go, and feel very uncomfortable.
Even worse are the men in a group who want to grab your shoulders and kiss on both cheeks ugh go away please.
Of course. It's completely different with people I'm close to, and family, I'm not completely frigid (if that's the word!)

No I'm not a hugger though I do respond to close friends who are huggers. I'm not a touchy feely type of person though that said I like to give my GC the odd hug to show that I'm not always Grumpy! When it's appropriate I also hug DD and DS but not on a regular basis. It seems to be fashionable these days though as is mwah mwah kissing which I absolutely loathe.

"Familiarity breeds contempt" - and it does.

Apart from which, isn't ANY uncalled for or unwanted deliberate physical contact a form of assault?

I love a hug from my close family & very close friends. An-one else it depends on the situation & who it is

I may be imagining it, but it seems, judging from what I see on TV, that men are more into hugging on first meeting than women. I really don't get hugging people that you don't know, without very good reason. I tend to reserve hugs for family and close friends.

I'm not usually a hugger, I don't think I've hugged my children since they were about 10 and of course the GSs only hug me if they want to. But I do always hug my best friend when we meet, she is having an awful time and needs all the moral support she can get. I hugged a friend whose grown up son had died on holiday because there were no words that would help. I hug a young friend who has survived cancer 4 times now and I'm just so glad she's still here.

I love a hug!

I rarely hug my DDs..we see each other very often so maybe different if we saw each other less so. I do hug DGC more often but not as a matter of course..depends on everyone's mood.

With good friends, whilst we do kiss, we usually only hug at special times. I am not a natural 'hug any aquaintance' person but have often been hugged by folk I do not know well.

Hugging is supposed to be very good for you! Maybe I need to do more of it!

so pleased that so many grans are not happy about being hugged. Until the last few years no-one I knew was a hugger. I feel that one person in a group to which I belong (someone I regard as a friend) thinks I need to be encouraged to become a hugger and will sometimes say 'Let's all have a hug'. I think she once indicated (not in an unpleasant way) that I am not a hugger It can be divisive, too. If some people are hugged in a group and not others, one can feel an outsider. Some people hug and air kiss our Minister after church, I find this divisive. My family never hugged but as a child I kissed my parents goodbye when going out.

I loathe being hugged and having had some really horrible life shocks, being grabbed and squeezed by people does not help at all.

I am very touchy feely and we were a demonstrative family but I would never hug someone I didn't know well .I'm not keen on air kissing either

I do remember future FIL being a little disconcerted when I went to hug/kiss him goodbye after a Christmas visit (I'd known him over a year and it was obvious by then that DH and I would marry ) I know he really liked me and I dont think he minded but it was definitely a shock .Demonstrative was not a word I would have applied to that family
I also remember going to stay with a new university friend's family in London .Her mother (a missionary)greeted me with a hug which I didn't like at all .I 'd know my friend only three months
I might put an arm round the shoulder of an acquaintance or even a stranger who was obviously upset but otherwise...
I have a lot of friends whom I see rarely and I have noticed we do now hug on departure .I think because we are getting older and realise how precious we are to each other Not something one tends to say ....

phoenix How would they know it was you with your pseudonym? Why don't you change your name on here?

pollyperkins when I used to go to church regularly over 20 years ago they used to say "peace be with you" and shake hands with the people in front of you and behind you. I can't see anything wrong with that, but we certainly didn't used to hug or kiss. It was a Church of England church.

Not a touchy feel family as I grew up. My sister and I therefore did not hug friends or family. My closest friends hug me and I've worked hard at responding. Close friends and family. I now want to and do respond, but only to my closest . I enjoy it now but it took a lot of work to be comfortable

grannyactivist that's made me want to cry. ?

I feel awkward if someone approaches for a hug, or worse, a kiss. However I do wish I didn't, it must be lovely to be relaxed enough to embrace everyone. My only exception are my daughters and GC, they get hugged every time I see them - most days.

Rather have hugs than kisses but don't initiate them. Went to the school Christmas concert ( where I used to work) and one of our ex pupils came over to hug me. I was so moved especially as he is on the spectrum! Amazing what one little hug can do!

Dont like hugs from strangers, a handshake is better. Love hugs from my Family.
Kiss on cheek from a stranger I dont like either, where does all this come from, America and France?

Must admit I love a good hug but only family and close freinds when I am feeling low or out of sorts I ask my oh for a hug it makes me feel better . I wouldn't force GC to hug or kiss but love it when they do ?‍❤️‍?‍?

I have been looking in at this thread on and off since yesterday (agree with your view, pollyperkins) and have only just noticed that the title is 'Are You Hugger'?

Yes, I agree about 'the peace'. DH and I just stand there, (kissing him in church doesn't seem appropriate to me, or him, though we are on good terms and do a fair share of kissing at home). Neither do we want to shake hands with each other. We shake the hands of those in the seats in front and behind and wave to the organist. The whole thing takes longer and longer as most folks then go on walkabout kissing and shaking hands with everyone.

I hate being hugged or kissed by anyone except close family and DH hates it even more. But we have come to accept some hugs/airkisses from some friends though we dontvreally like it!
With the littlest grandchildren i love a hug and kiss the top of their heads . I find 'the peace' in church excruciating and know a lot of others feel the same way. Why on earth have they started doing this?
If someone is upset i dont know what to do - a hug feels very awkward although i see others doing it. Id also hate to be on the receiving end except for DH or any of my children. I think i must come across as cold and reserved!

Having been brought up in the care system and never being hugged,it wasn`t the done thing. After leaving the care system at 18 yrs. old someone hugged me and I just froze. Now I`m grateful for all the hugs I get from anyone.

Maranta.... Yes, I agree ... but my grandchildren are four thousand miles away.... (((