Are You Hugger ?

I too struggle with hugging. I have trained myself to give and receive hugs, but many of them are for appearance only. My dread is leaving a gathering where I wonder whom I should hug. I end up hugging them all and probably some of them would rather I hadn't!

My DDiL, a teacher, says that girls hug each other when seperatibg to go to different lessons from each other!

I have always prefered hugging to cheek kissing: less awkward & more genuine

I also hate this American import except for close family members and friends I don't like it.This is what I would put in room 101, more and more tv programmes hug winning contestants pointless and tipping point to name just two.

I lived in America and wasn't hugged any more than here FYI

Same here notanan. Sigh.

I'm not a touchy feely person. I don't like hugging or missing except for immediate family. I hope I don't come across as cold and unfeeling. I think I might be somewhere on the spectrum because I had to teach myself to make eye contact when I was younger. It still makes me a little uncomfortable even now.

Two totally unrelated men have tried to hug me in the last couple of years. Weird!

I could probably tolerate a hug from a totally unrelated woman....

I don't hug people other than family members, our oldest friends, and my best friend, who needs all the hugs she can get at the moment.

I was surprised when people wanted to hug me in business meetings.

No matter how well I got on with or how long I had worked with a supplier I didn't want a hug! A handshake would have sufficed .

Gosh N&G! I never got hugged in a business meeting!

I did work with a lovely, enthusiastic American who wanted all of us to have a group hug in the staff room at the start of each day. Our collective faces were a picture. We later had a temporary Canadian teacher who bounced round the school first thing every morning wishing each of us a joyous day - well meant but bloody rather wearing.

My sons partner kissed me on both cheeks with a quick hug too on our first meeting and I've got used to it from her family also since they started their family together, she is Gibraltarian and its completely usual there and Spain and other European countries, to hug and kiss on meeting. I've always hugged family but have had to get used to 'another'way of greeting people and its fine if you are expecting it.

I am always being hugged and kissed these days, people who I know don't really like me do it I find it uncomfortable. I remember years ago my parents saying how odd it was that some people from other countries kissed each other when they met.

One of the most moving experiences I ever had was sharing a hug. I'd gone down to the seafront with a church group wearing a T-shirt with the logo 'Free Hugs' on it and offering hugs to passersby. One very elderly gentleman told me the exact date he'd last received a hug from anyone, it was many years ago and was from his wife on the day she died. Another very elderly woman told me she didn't think she had ever been hugged, not even as a child and wasn't sure she would like it. She did though!

That's lovely ga makes me feel like a miserable old bat now!

Awww GA, that NEARLY makes me wanna get a free hug tee-shirt… sadly as a woman I'ld be scared that it might be missinterpreted as an invitation to a little more of a grope than a hug and I'ld feel really vulnerable wearing it

Oh I definitely thinking hugging/kissing in a business context is inappropriate. Don't mind a good friends hug in fact my friends tend to squeeze the life out of me - which is nice in its way. I'm not good at the air kissing stuff with people I hardly know. Wouldn't mind a snog sometimes.

No I'm not big on hugs either, find all the kissing here in France a bit tiresome too. When my daughter's husband died in America she said ' Mum if anyone else hugs me I'll scream ' We are not a touchy feely family.

I hug (and have been hugged back) by friends and family in America, same in England, same in France. Haven't been hugged in America, in England, nor In France, nor anywhere where I don't wish to be.

One does not have to hug if it feels meaningless. Lovely to hug with warmth and friendship.

It doesn't depend on nationality.

When my daughter's husband died in America she said ' Mum if anyone else hugs me I'll scream

I felt that way here when bereaved over 2 decades ago!

I felt that people's need to comfort me trumped whether I wanted/needed to be hugged, and not a single American amongst them!

Lots of hug and kisses for close family and some very close friends. I can't stand the fashion for hugging everyone as soon as you meet. Definitely a no no in a formL or business situation.

I watch body language before I offer hugs. With family and friends it's fine. But with people I don't know, not. I think, though, a well judged hug when someone is feeling miserable can help. I find it comforting when miserable myself.

I'm one of those who tends to offer virtual hugs on here when I read of someone in distress. It indicates that I feel for them. Would it be better if I didn't?

As for group hugs.....?!

The other thing I don't like is when parents insist a child kisses X or y. Why should they if they don't want to.

Good point about watching body language jud.

Huggers soon get the message if one doesn't feel like, or want, hugging.

Don't blame the hugger - one is in charge of one's own body.

#takecharge